Jokes and Trivia for February 5, 2013

Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind, than in the one where they sprung up. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

TODAY – FEBRUARY 5th – TUESDAY

36th day of 2013 with 329 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Chocolate Fondue Day

*World Nutella Day

*National Weatherman’s Day

*Canned Food Month

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1608 Gaspar Schott, Königshofen, German mathematician (known for hydraulic and mechanical instruments)
  • 1837 Dwight L. Moody, Northfield, Massachusetts, evangelist (Moody Bible Institute & Moody Publishers)
  • 1840 John Boyd Dunlop, Dreghorn, North Ayrshire,  inventor (Development of the pneumatic tyre)
  • 1840 Hiram Stevens Maxim, Sangerville, Maine,  inventor (Maxim gun)
  • 1848 Belle Starr, Carthage, Missouri, outlaw (Belle Starr, the Bandit Queen; The Female Jesse James)
  • 1900 Adlai Stevenson, Los Angeles, California, politician (31st Governor of Illinois, presidential candidate in 1952 & 1956)
  • 1919 Red Buttons, New York City, NY, actor (Sayonara, Harlow, They Shoot Horses Don’t They?, Pete’s Dragon)
  • 1928 Andrew Greeley, Oak Park, Illinois, priest and novelist (The Cardinal Sins, Lord of the Dance, The Cardinal Virtues, Wages of Sin, Irish Lace, Star Bright, The Priestly Sins, Irish Tweed, Home for Christmas)
  • 1934 Hank Aaron, Mobile, Alabama, baseball player (right fielder, played 23 seasons in Major League Baseball – Atlanta Braves, Milwaukee Brewers)
  • 1937 Stuart Damon, Brooklyn, New York,  actor (General Hospital )
  • 1937 Wang Xuan, Jiangsu, China, Chinese scientist , innovator of the Chinese printing industry  (known for Computer Science)
  • 1942 Cory Wells, Buffalo, New York,  singer (Three Dog Night)
  • 1943 Nolan Bushnell, Clearfield, Utah, video game pioneer (Atari, Inc. & Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza-Time Theaters chain)
  • 1948 Christopher Guest, New York City, NY, actor and director (The Princess Bride, A Few Good Men, SpongeBob SquarePants, Night at the Museum: Baattle of the Smithsonian)
  • 1948 Barbara Hershey, Hollywood, California,  actress (Love Comes Quietly, Hannah and Her Sisters, The Last Temptation of Christ, Beaches, The Portrait of a Lady, Love Comes Lately, Black Swan)
  • 1954 Cliff Martinez, The Bronx, New York City,  musician (Red Hot Chili Peppers and The Dickies)
  • 1962 Jennifer Jason Leigh, Hollywood, California, actress (Miami Blues, Buried Alive, Backdraft, Single White Female, Short Cuts, Georgia, Dolores Claiborne, Margot at the Wedding, Weeds, Revenge)
  • 1964 Duff McKagan, Seattle, Washington,  musician (Guns N’ Roses and Velvet Revolver)
  • 1985 Crystal Hunt, Clearwater, Florida, actress (One Life to Live )
  • 2002 Davis Cleveland, Houston, Texas, actor (Shake It Up )

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Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. – Roy Goodman

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1900 The United States and the United Kingdom sign a treaty for the Panama Canal.
  • 1909 Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland announces the creation of Bakelite, the world’s first synthetic plastic.
  • 1917 The Congress of the United States passes the Immigration Act of 1917 over President Woodrow Wilson’s veto. Also known as the Asiatic Barred Zone Act, it forbade immigration from nearly all of south and southeast Asia.
  • 1918 Stephen W. Thompson shoots down a German airplane. It is the first aerial victory by the U.S. military.
  • 1918 SS Tuscania (1914) is torpedoed off the coast of Ireland; it is the first ship carrying American troops to Europe to be torpedoed and sunk.
  • 1919 Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks, and D.W. Griffith launch United Artists.
  • 1924 The Royal Greenwich Observatory begins broadcasting the hourly time signals known as the Greenwich Time Signal or the “BBC pips”.
  • 1937 President Franklin D. Roosevelt proposes a plan to enlarge the Supreme Court of the United States.
  • 1939 Generalísimo Francisco Franco becomes the 68th “Caudillo de España“, or Leader of Spain.
  • 1958 Gamel Abdel Nasser is nominated to be the first president of the United Arab Republic.
  • 1958 A hydrogen bomb known as the Tybee Bomb is lost by the US Air Force off the coast of Savannah, Georgia, never to be recovered.
  • 1962 French President Charles De Gaulle calls for Algeria to be granted independence.
  • 1963 The European Court of Justice’s ruling in Van Gend en Loos v Nederlandse Administratie der Belastingen establishes the principle of direct effect, one of the most important, if not the most important, decisions in the development of European Union law.
  • 1971 Astronauts land on the moon in the Apollo 14 mission.
  • 1972 Bob Douglas becomes the first African American elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame.
  • 1975 Riots break in Lima, Peru after the police forces go on strike the day before. The uprising (locally known as the Limazo) is bloodily suppressed by the military dictatorship.
  • 1976 The 1976 swine flu outbreak begins at Fort Dix, NJ.
  • 1985 Ugo Vetere, then the mayor of Rome, and Chedli Klibi, then the mayor of Carthage meet in Tunis to sign a treaty of friendship officially ending the Third Punic War which lasted 2,131 years.
  • 1988 Manuel Noriega is indicted on drug smuggling and money laundering charges.
  • 2004 Twenty-three Chinese people drown when a group of 35 cockle-pickers are trapped by rising tides in Morecambe Bay, England. Twenty-one bodies are recovered.
  • 2009 The United States Navy guided missile cruiser USS Port Royal runs aground off Oahu, Hawaii, damaging the ship as well as a coral reef.

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Teacher to class: “Who can tell us the formula for water? Billy?”

“The formula for water is H20.”

“Very good. Now who can tell me the formula for ice? Little Johnny?”

“Well, if The formula for water is H2O, the formula for ice must be H2O cubed.”

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The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied.

“You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

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ONE-LINERS:

~Mom thinks she knows everything, but I gotta confess she was right about the cheese-fondue-in-the-pocket thing.

~My 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher what her father does. She replied, “Whatever my Mom tells him to.”

~My son told his teacher the Indians could not possibly have served popcorn to the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving because they didn’t have microwave ovens.

~If the president of the USA has to be a natural-born citizen, could a test-tube baby ever be president?

~I need someone to refresh my memory. How many cars are allowed through an intersection after the light turns red? Is it three? Or five?

~Is it just me, or have things really improved since my calls to customer service reps started being recorded?

~What’s dumber, expecting educators to be entertaining or expecting entertainment to be educational?

~When your dreams turn to dust, it’s time to vacuum.

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pic of the day: Rooster in Sunshine

picture of red rooster

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

“How’s your new pet fish doing?”

“I’m really disappointed. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.”

“Let me get this straight. You bought a fish because you thought you could teach it to sing like a bird?”

“Of course. It’s a parrot fish.”

“Now listen. You might be able to teach a parrot to sing, but you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot FISH.”

“Will, it just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he sings off-key and it’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?”

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Rossi was the manager of an upscale men’s wear store in a wealthy section of town and was interviewing Abe for the recently advertised salesman role.

Rossi looks at Abe’s resume and notices that Abe has never worked in retail before.

Rossi says to Abe, “What chutzpah, if you don’t mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”

“Well I suppose I am,” Abe replies, “but you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”

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A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.

The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat runs away.

“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA:  Who does not love NUTELLA?

~Nutella is like peanut butter, except better.

~Firstly created last 1940 by the Ferrero Company, now renowned for their Ferrero Rocher chocolates.

~The hazelnuts were used originally as filler because during Nutella’s first production, cocoa was difficult to come by.

~The spread was first called “Supecrema gianduja,” but then it was named Nutella in 1964

~Nutella was an luxurious import produce in the US until the 1990′s.

~In European cities, crepes filled with Nutella are available from street vendors.

~Kobe Bryant, who was born in Italy, has been a famous spokesperson for Nutella.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: We can’t plan life. All we can do is be available for it – Lauryn Hill.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Positive anything is better than negative thinking. – Elbert Hubbard