Jokes and Trivia for October 22, 2012

Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

TODAY – OCTOBER 22nd – MONDAY

296th day of 2012 with 70 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Nut Day

*International Stuttering Awareness Day

*Fechner Day (celebrated by Psychophysicists)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1734 Daniel Boone, Berks County, Pennsylvania, pioneer and explorer (Most famous for exploration & settlement of what is now Kentucky)
  • 1811 Franz Liszt, Hungarian composter & pianist (virtuoso on piano, invention of symphonic poem)
  • 1821 Collis Potter Huntington, Harwinton, Connecticut, railroad executive (one of Big Four who built Central Pacific Railroad, Chesapeake & Ohio Railway – Huntington, West Virginia, named in his honor)
  • 1881 Clinton Davisson, Bloomington, Illinois, physicist (Electron diffraction)
  • 1903 George Wells Beadle, Wahoo, Nebraska, geneticist (Gene regulation of biochemical events within cells)
  • 1903 Curly Howard, Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, New York,  actor and comedian (member of the Three Stooges)
  • 1938 Christopher Lloyd, Stamford, Connecticut,  actor (Back to the Future trilogy, The Addams Family )
  • 1942 Annette Funicello, Itica, New York, actress (Mickey Mouse Club, Beach Party)
  • 1946 Deepak Chopra, Indian-American physician and writer (Creating Health, Peace Is the Way, The Soul of Leadership, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life)
  • 1948 Debbie Macomber, Yakima, Washington, author (romance novels: Manning Sisters series, Those Manning Men series, Angel series, Deliverance Company series, Orchard Valley Trilogy)
  • 1952 Jeff Goldblum, West Homestead, Pennsylvania, actor (The Fly, Jurassic Park, Independence Day, Law & Order: Criminal Intent)
  • 1963 Brian Boitano, Mountain View, California, figure skater (1988 Olympic Champion, 1986 & 1988 World Champion, 1985-1988 U.S. National Champion)
  • 1964 Toby Mac, Fairfax, Virginia, singer and songwriter (one of the first Christian rappers, member of DC Talk 1987-2000, now solo)
  • 1976 Jon Foreman, San Bernardino County, California,  musician (Switchfoot)
  • 1990 Jonathan Lipnicki, Westlake Village, California, actor (Jerry Maguire, Stuart Little, The Little Vampire, and Like Mike)
  • 1992 Sofia Vassilieva, Minneapolis, Minnesota, actress (My Sister’s Keeper)

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In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are. – Arnold H. Glasgow

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1746 The College of New Jersey (later renamed Princeton University) receives its charter.
  • 1790 United States troops under General Josiah Harmar at the site of present-day Fort Wayne, Indiana, are defeated by warriors of the Miami tribe under Chief Little Turtle in the Northwest Indian War.
  • 1836 Sam Houston inaugurated as the first President of the Republic of Texas.
  • 1879  Thomas Edison tests the first practical electric incandescent light bulb using a filament of carbonized thread (it lasted 13½ hours before burning out).
  • 1883 In New York City, The Metropolitan Opera House opened with a performance of Gounod’s Faust.
  • 1924 Toastmasters International is founded.
  • 1927 Nikola Tesla exposed his six (6) new inventions including motor with onephase electricity.
  • 1962 US President John F. Kennedy, after internal counsel from Dwight D. Eisenhower, announces that American reconnaissance planes have discovered Soviet nuclear weapons in Cuba, and that he has ordered a naval “quarantine” of the Communist nation during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
  • 1964  A Multi-Party Parliamentary Committee in Canada selected the design for the new official Flag of Canada.
  • 1966 The Supremes become the first all-female music group to attain a No. 1 selling album (The Supremes A’ Go-Go).
  • 1966 Luna 22 launched by the Soviet Union.
  • 1968  After orbiting the Earth 163 times, Apollo 7 safely splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean.
  • 1975 The Soviet unmanned space mission Venera 9 lands on Venus.
  • 1976 US Food and Drug Administration banned Red Dye No. 4 after it is discovered that it causes tumors in the bladders of dogs. 
  • 1981 The United States Federal Labor Relations Authority votes to decertify the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization for its strike the previous August.

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Little Johnny was in kindergarten. There was a another boy in his class who wasn’t listening to the teacher.

The teacher said to the boy, “Since you don’t want to listen, you sit at that table by yourself.”

After a few minutes, Johnny raised his hand and said, “I don’t want to listen either. Can I sit with him?”

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Little Johnny did not know that his family was poor.

One day he came to school wearing just one shoe. The teacher asked, “Johnny, did you lose a shoe?”

“No ma’am,” he said, “I found one.”

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ONE-LINERS: THE ADVANTAGES OF HAVING CHILDREN OVER DOGS By Greg Hench

~ They don’t bark.

~ They are capable of answering the phone. (Well, until they get their own cell phone.)

~ I have never stepped in any of their messes in the back yard.

~  I have never run over any of their messes with the mower in the back yard.

~ They are permitted in most public buildings with no special license.

~ They live much longer.

~ They eventually learn to buckle themselves and keep their head in the window.

~ Mine have never chewed up the couch, the curtains, the pillows or the carpet.

~ Once mine were potty trained, I never had to proudly carry around the poopy bag like it was some great trophy of ownership. (The real question is who owns who if you’re the one carrying the little poopy bag??)

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pic of the day: Baby it’s cold outside!

image of bird

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q. How’s your job at the lemon juice company?
A. I’ve had bitter jobs.

Q. How’s your job at the pie company?
A. It didn’t pan out.

Q. How’s your job at the balloon factory?
A. We can’t keep up with inflation.

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A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

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A wife texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen.”

Her husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.”

The wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely messed up now.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Fact about NUTS

~Eating more than 5 ounces of nuts a week can cut heart-attack deaths in women by 40% and help prevent deadly irregular heart beats in men according to a Harvard University study.

~Almonds and walnuts lower blood cholesterol.

~Most of the fat in nuts is the good-type monounsaturated and/or omega-3. Unsalted nuts are best.

~Coconuts aren’t nuts. They are drupes (from the Greek dryppa, meaning “tree-ripened”). The word “coconut” comes from the Spanish and Portuguese word coco, which means “monkey face”.

~The children’s song Here We Go Gathering Nuts in May makes no sense: there are no nuts to gather in May. It is a corruption of the phrase “Here we go gathering knots of May” and refers to the ancient custom of picking bunches (knots) of flowers on May Day to celebrate the end of winter.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. – Karen Sunde

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Instead of thinking about what you are going to do when you retire, think about how you can do that now and make a living from it.” – Celestine Chua