Jokes and Trivia for October 25, 2012

What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now. – Buddha

TODAY – OCTOBER 25th – THURSDAY

299th day of 2012 with 67 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Cartoonists Against Crime Day

*Punk for a Day Day

*World Pasta Day

*National Greasy Foods Day

*Sourest Day (When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1811 Évariste Galois, Bourg-la-Reine, France, mathematician (Work on the theory of equationsand Abelian integrals)
  • 1825 Johann Strauss II (the younger), Austria, composer (Waltz King – The Blue Danube)
  • 1856 Dragutin Gorjanovic-Kramberger, Zagreb, Croatia, paleontologist (founded the Geological Commission for Croatia and Slavonia)
  • 1864 John Francis Dodge, Niles, Michigan, automobile manufacturing pioneer
  • 1881 Pablo Picasso, Spain, artist (3 Dancers, Guernica), sculptor
  • 1888 Richard E. Byrd, Winchester, Virginia, explorer (claimed his expeditions were first to reach the North Pole and the South Pole by air)
  • 1912 Minnie Pearl [Sarah Ophelia Colley], Centerville, Tennessee, comedienne and singer (Grand Old Opry, Hee-Haw)
  • 1914 John Berryman, McAlester, Oklahoma, poet (a founder of the Confessional school of poetry.  Dream Songs)
  • 1928 Marion Ross, Watertown, Minnesota, actress (Marion-Happy Days, Brooklyn Bridge)
  • 1935 Russell Schweickart, Neptune, New Jersey, astronaut (Lunar module pilot for Apollo 9, 1st Skylab mission)
  • 1941 Anne Tyler, Minneapolis, Minnesota, writer (Accidental Tourist)
  • 1941 Helen Reddy, Melbourne, Australia, singer (I Am Woman)
  • 1951 Richard Lloyd, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, guitarist (Television)
  • 1961 Chad Smith, Richfield, Minnesota, drummer (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
  • 1961 Ward Burton, South Boston, Virginia, NASCAR auto racer
  • 1964 Michael Boatman, Colorado Springs, Colorado, actor (China Beach)
  • 1970 Adam Goldberg, Santa Monica CA, actor (Medium, Nancy Drew, Saving Private Ryan/Mellish)
  • 1971 Midori Goto, Japanese violinist
  • 1979 Sarah Thompson, Los Angeles, California, actress (The Ice Storm)
  • 1980 Sarah Benincasa, American comedian
  • 1980 Mehcad Brooks, Austin, Texas, actor and former model ( Desperate Housewives)
  • 1981 Josh Henderson, Dallas, Texas, actor and singer (member: Scene 23)
  • 1981 Jerome Isaac Jones, Los Angeles, California, singer (album: Food for Thought, in 2004)
  • 1981 Austin Winkler, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, lead vocalist (Hinder)
  • 1984 Katy Perry, Santa Barbara, California, singer (“I Kissed a Girl”)
  • 2001 Princess Elisabeth of Belgium

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one’s reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present.” – S.N. Goenka

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1415 – The army of Henry V of England defeats the French at the Battle of Agincourt.
  • 1616 – Dutch sea-captain Dirk Hartog makes second recorded landfall by a European on Australian soil, at the later-named Dirk Hartog Island off theWestern Australian coast.
  • 1854 – The Light Brigade charges (Battle of Balaklava) (Crimean War).
  • 1900 – The United Kingdom annexes the Transvaal.
  • 1917 – Traditionally understood date of the October Revolution, involving the capture of the Winter Palace, Petrograd, Russia. The date refers to the Julian Calendar date, and corresponds with November 7 in the Gregorian calendar.
  • 1944 – Heinrich Himmler orders a crackdown on the Edelweiss Pirates, a loosely organized youth culture in Nazi Germany that had assisted army deserters and others to hide from the Third Reich.
  • 1944 – The USS Tang under Richard O’Kane (the top American submarine captain of World War II) is sunk by the ship’s own malfunctioning torpedo.
  • 1945 – Republic of China takes over administration of Taiwan following Japan’s surrender to the Allies.
  • 1962 – Cuban missile crisis: Adlai Stevenson shows photos at the UN proving Soviet missiles are installed in Cuba.
  • 1971 – The United Nations seated the People’s Republic of China and expelled the Republic of China
  • 1972 – The Washington Post reports that White House Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman is the fifth person to control a secret cash fund designed to finance illegal political sabotage andespionage during the 1972 presidential election campaign (see also Watergate scandal).
  • 1977 – Digital Equipment Corporation releases OpenVMS V1.0.
  • 1980 – Proceedings on the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction conclude at The Hague.
  • 1983 – Operation Urgent Fury: The United States and its Caribbean allies invade Grenada, six days after Prime Minister Maurice Bishop and several of his supporters are executed in a coup d’état.
  • 1991 – History of Slovenia: Three months after the end of the Ten-Day War, the last soldier of the Yugoslav People’s Army leaves the territory of the Republic of Slovenia.
  • 1992 – Lithuania holds a referendum on its first post-Soviet constitution.
  • 1995 – A commuter train slams into a school bus in Fox River Grove, Illinois, killing seven students.
  • 2004 – Fidel Castro, Cuba’s President, announces that transactions using the American Dollar will be banned by November 8.
  • 2009 – The 25 October 2009 Baghdad bombings kills 155 and wounds at least 721.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Arnold and his wife Florrie were walking across Southsea Common one Sunday afternoon. In the bandstand the combo was playing a catchy sounding tune, and Florrie said, “I wonder what the name of that tune is.”
 
Arnold noticed that there was a sign posted near the bandstand and said, “It looks like they post the titles of the tunes they play. I’ll go down and see.”
 
A while later Arnold returned and said to Florrie, “It’s one I don’t know, it’s called ‘The Refrain from Spitting’.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Before retiring from teaching Will qualified as a first aider in order to instruct CPR [Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation] to Year 10 students, with the help of Surrey Ambulance Service, as part of the PHSE syllabus.

Classes always used the mannequin known to all as “Resusci Annie”. The particular model used by Will’s students was legless in order to store it in a carrying case.

Youngsters used to practise on Annie in groups in preparation for their examinations.

Philip, following Will’s teaching knelt beside Resusci Anne and shook her asking, “Are you alright?”. He then put his ear over the mouth to see if the dummy was breathing, all correct procedure.

Philip then turned to Will and said with a straight face, “Sir, she says she can’t feel her legs.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: Camping Tips:

– Get even with the bear that raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

– Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.

– A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.

– A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

– You’ll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you are on the “Do Not Call” list.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Farm Collie Dog in Creek

image of farm collie

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q. How’s your job at the clock company?
A. Only time will tell.

Q. How’s your job at the banana company?
A. I keep slipping up.

Q. How’s your job on the new highway?
A. I’m so busy I don’t know which way to turn.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

As the storm began to rage and the blonde started to go outside, her husband stopped her. “Hey, where are you going?”

“I’m going out to water the flowers.”

“But dear, it’s raining outside!”

“You’re right. I’d better take my umbrella.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

My son came home from school with a black eye and a bloody nose. While I patched him up I asked, “What happened to you? Who did this?”

“I challenged Joe to a fight, but I told him he could have his choice of weapons.”

“Well, that seems fair …”

“Yeah, but I never thought he’d choose his sister!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: PASTA Facts

~Popular legend has it that Marco Polo introduced pasta to Italy following his exploration of the Far East in the late 13th century

~The Chinese were making a noodle-like food as early as 3000 B.C. And Greek mythology suggests that the Greek God Vulcan invented a device that made strings of dough (the first spaghetti!).

~Thomas Jefferson is credited with bringing the first “macaroni” machine to America in 1789 when he returned home after serving as ambassador to France.

~The first industrial pasta factory in America was built in Brooklyn in 1848

~The average American consumes 20 lbs. of pasta annually. This makes it the 6th highest food per capita in the country.

~As of March 2012, the it is $1.45 per pound! This makes it one of the most affordable meals.

~Pasta is the perfect foundation for a healthy, delicious and satisfying meal. As an ideal “delivery system” for other nutritious foods, pasta meals can easily become nutritional all-stars.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

QUIP OF THE DAY: It’s nice to be important, but more important to be nice.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going. – Ralph Waldo Emerson