Jokes and Trivia for June 26, 2013

“Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased. It comes out of heaven, unasked and unsought.” ― Pearl S. Buck

TODAY – JUNE 26th – WEDNESDAY

177th day of 2013 with 188 follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Beautician’s Day

* International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking

* International Day in Support of Victims of Torture

*National Chocolate Pudding Day

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1824 William Thomson, Belfast, Ireland, physicist (mathematical analysis of electricity and formulation of the first and second laws of thermodynamics)
  • 1892 Pearl S. Buck, Hillsboro, West Virginia,  writer (Nobel / The Good Earth)
  • 1909 Colonel Tom Parker, Netherlands, Elvis Presley’s manager
  • 1913 Maurice Wilkes, Dudley, Worcestershire, UK, computer scientist (Microprogramming)
  • 1937 Robert Coleman Richardson, Washington D.C,  physicist (superfluidity in helium-3)
  • 1938 Billy Davis, Jr., St. Louis, Missouri,  singer (The 5th Dimension)
  • 1943 John Beasley, Omaha, Nebraska, actor (Everwood, The Sum of All Fears, The Apostle, Walking Tall)
  • 1943 Warren Farrell, Queens, New York, author (The Myth of Male Power, Why Men Are The Way They Are, Father and Child Reunion)
  • 1953 Robert Davi, Astoria, Queens, New York,  actor (Die Hard, The Goonies, Showgirls, Licence to Kill, Profiler)
  • 1961 Terri Nunn, Baldwin Hills, California, singer (Berlin)
  • 1970 Chris O’Donnell, Winnetka, Illinois, actor (Batman Forever, Batman & Robin )
  • 1970 Nick Offerman, Minooka, Illinois,  actor (Parks and Recreation )
  • 1973 Rebecca Budig, Cincinnati, Ohio, actress (All My Children )
  • 1980 Jason Schwartzman, Los Angeles, California,  actor (Rushmore, Spun, I Heart Huckabees, Shopgirl, Marie Antoinette )

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.” ― Pearl S. Buck

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1870 The Christian holiday of Christmas is declared a federal holiday in the United States.
  • 1886 Henri Moissan isolated elemental Fluorine for the first time.
  • 1907 The 1907 Tiflis bank robbery took place in Yerevan Square, now Freedom Square, Tbilisi.
  • 1909 The Science Museum in London comes into existence as an independent entity.
  • 1917  The first U.S. troops arrive in France to fight alongside Britain and France against Germany in World War I.
  • 1934 Credit Unions are established by President Franklin D. Roosevelt upon signing the Federal Credit Union Act.
  • 1945 The United Nations Charter is signed in San Francisco.
  • 1948 The Western allies begin an airlift to Berlin after the Soviet Union blockades West Berlin.
  • 1948 William Shockley files the original patent for the grown junction transistor, the first bipolar junction transistor.
  • 1960 Madagascar gains its independence from France.
  • 1963 Shortly after Soviet-supported East Germany erected the Berlin Wall, U.S. President John F. Kennedy gave his “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech, underlining the support of the United States for democratic West Germany
  • 1973 At Plesetsk Cosmodrome 9 people are killed in an explosion of a Cosmos 3-M rocket.
  • 1974 The Universal Product Code is scanned for the first time to sell a package of Wrigley’s chewing gum at the Marsh Supermarket in Troy, Ohio
  • 1975 Two FBI agents and a member of the American Indian Movement are killed in a shootout on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota; Leonard Peltier is later convicted of the murders in a controversial trial.
  • 1977 The Yorkshire Ripper kills 16 year old shop assistant Jayne MacDonald in Leeds, changing public perception of the killer as she is the first victim who is not a prostitute.
  • 1996 Irish Journalist Veronica Guerin is shot in her car while in traffic in the outskirts of Dublin
  • 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court rules that the Communications Decency Act violates the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.
  • 2008 The U.S. Supreme Court rules in District of Columbia v. Heller that the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution protects an individual right, and that the District of Columbia handgun ban is unconstitutional.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin,” the mother said. “Where is he?”

“Well,” her son replied thoughtfully, “if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he’s out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he’s out swimming.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees’ well being, asked sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”

The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. “Why don’t you go home for the day, we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.”

The blonde very calmly states, “No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, “What’s so bad now. Are you gonna be ok?”

“No!” exclaims the blonde. “I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: Tee Shirt Slogans

~ Here I am! Now What are Your Other Two Wishes?

~ I Recycle. I Wore this Shirt Yesterday.

~ Also Available in Sober.

~ Voted Class of 2057’s Most Likely to Travel Back in Time.

~ Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I’m a Raving Lunatic.

~ I Cannot be Cloned without the Express Written Permission of Major League Baseball.

~ The World Doesn’t Revolve Around You.
       It Revolves Around Me.

~ I’m Like a Good Book. Wanna Curl Up With Me?

~ I Do All My Own Stunts.

~ I’m Not Old, I’m Vintage!

~ Anybody Seen My Mind? I Know it’s Around Here Somewhere…

~ Save the Drama for your Mama.

~ Official Member Fashion Police Academy.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million dollars,” the engineer answered. “And I want to donate it all to my alma mater–Rice University.”

The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. “Two millions dollars,” the doctor said. “I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”

“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, “You give me three million, I’ll give you one million, I’ll keep a million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Ginger Lily Blooms

 picture of ginger lily

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“The secret of joy in work is contained in one word-excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.” ― Pearl S. Buck

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.

“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”

“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love. ” ― Pearl S. Buck

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment.

The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, “You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal.”

The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. “What? I’m not going to go through this. You know I’ll never reach the food!” And he gets up and storms out.

The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist’s eyes light up and he starts drooling.

The psychologist is a bit confused. “Don’t you realize that you’ll never reach the food?”

The physicist smiles and replies: “Of course! But I’ll get close enough for all practical purposes!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Pearl Buck!

~Pearl Comfort Sydenstricker was born on June 26, 1892, in Hillsboro, West Virginia.

~Her parents were Southern Presbyterian missionaries, home on furlough when she was born.  At age three months old, the family went back to China, where Pearl spent most of the first forty years of her life.

~They  lived in Chinkiang (Zhenjiang), in Kiangsu (Jiangsu) province, then a small city lying at the junction of the Yangtze River and the Grand Canal.

~Pearl was bilingual from childhood, speaking both Chinese and English.  She was taught by her mother and a Chinese tutor, Mr. Kung.

~She graduated from Randolph-Macon Woman’s College, in Lynchburg, Virginia, in 1914.

~Pearl married John Lossing Buck in 1917.  They immediately moved to Nanhsuchou (Nanxuzhou) in rural Anhwei (Anhui) province of China. In this impoverished community, Pearl Buck gathered the material that she would later use in The Good Earth and other stories of China.

~Her second novel, The Good  Earth, became the best-selling book of both 1931 and 1932, won the Pulitzer Prize and the Howells Medal in 1935, and was adapted as a major MGM film in 1937.

  (info from biography of Pearl Buck)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: As you climb the ladder of success, check occasionally to make sure it is leaning against the right wall.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

“You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” ― Pearl S. Buck

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *