Jokes and Trivia for November 12, 2012

The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. – Ayn Rand

TODAY – NOVEMBER 12th – MONDAY

317th day of 2012 with 49 to  follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Veteran’s Day

*Chicken Soup for the Soul Day

*National Pizza With Everything Day (Except Anchovies)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1815 Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Johnstown, New York, suffragette (Declaration of Statements)
  • 1840 Auguste Rodin, French sculptor (progenitor of modern sculputure, The Thinker)
  • 1842 John Strutt, Essex, England, physicist (discovered the element argon)
  • 1922 Kim Hunter, Detroit, Michigan, actress (A Streetcar Named Desire, Planet of the Apes, The Edge of Night)
  • 1929 Grace Kelly, Philidelphia, Pennsylvania, actress (High Noon, Dial M for Murder, To Catch a Thief) and Princess consort of Monaco
  • 1939 Ruby Nash Curtis,  singer (Ruby & the Romantics)
  • 1945 Neil Young, Toronto, Ontario,  singer and guitarist (Buffalo Springfield, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)
  • 1955 Katharine Weber, Queens, New York, author (The Music Lesson, The Little Women, Triangle, True Confections)
  • 1962 Brix Smith, Los Angeles, California,  singer and guitarist (The Fall, The Adult Net)
  • 1962 Naomi Wolf, San Francisco, California, author (The Beauty Myth, The End of America, Give Me Liberty)
  • 1962 Neal Shusterman, Brooklyn, New York, author (Dark Fusion, Darkness Creeping, Skinjacker Trilogy, Star Shards series; Downsiders, Full Tilt)
  • 1963 Sam Lloyd, Weston, Vermont, actor (Flubber, Galaxy Quest, Spelling Bee, The Brother Solomon, Scrubs) and singer (The Blanks)
  • 1968 Sammy Sosa, Dominican baseball player (609 career home runs)
  • 1974 Tamala Jones, Pasadena, California,  actress (Booty Call, The Wood, Kingdom Come, The Brothers )
  • 1975 Angela Watson, Danville, Illinois, actress (Step by Step)
  • 1976 Tevin Campbell, Waxahachie, Texas,  R&B singer
  • 1979 Cote de Pablo, Chilean-born American actress (Ziva David on NCIS)
  • 1984 Omarion, Watts, Los Angeles, California, R&B singer, pianist and songwriter (B2K)
  • 1984 Sandara Park, Busan, South Korea, South Korean actor, singer/rapper of (2NE1)

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There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin.

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1439 Plymouth, England, becomes the first town incorporated by the English Parliament.
  • 1892 The first professional American football player on record, William “Pudge” Heffelfinger, participated in his first paid game for the Allegheny Athletic Association.
  • 1912 Robert Scott and his men’s frozen bodies are found on the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica.
  • 1927 Leon Trotsky is expelled from the Soviet Communist Party, leaving Joseph Stalin in undisputed control of the Soviet Union.
  • 1928 SS Vestris sinks approximately 200 miles (320 km) off Hampton Roads, Virginia, killing at least 110 passengers, mostly women and children who die after the vessel is abandoned.
  • 1933 First known photos of the Loch Ness Monster are taken by Hugh Gray.
  • 1936 The San Francisco – Oakland Bay Bridge opens to traffic in California.
  • 1941 World War II: The Soviet cruiser Chervona Ukraina is destroyed during the Battle of Sevastopol.
  • 1942 World War II: The Naval Battle of Guadalcanal between Japanese and American forces begins near Guadalcanal. The battle lasts for three days.
  • 1958 A team of rock climbers led by Warren Harding completes the first ascent of The Nose on El Capitan in Yosemite Valley.
  • 1968 Equatorial Guinea joins the United Nations.
  • 1971 Vietnam War: as part of Vietnamization, US President Richard M. Nixon sets February 1, 1972 as the deadline for the removal of another 45,000 American troops from Vietnam.
  • 1975 The Comoros joins the United Nations.
  • 1980 The NASA space probe Voyager I makes its closest approach to Saturn and takes the first images of its rings.
  • 1981 With mission STS-2, the Space Shuttle Columbia became the first manned spacecraft  launched into space twice.
  • 1990 A formal proposal for the World Wide Web is published by Tim Bemers-Lee.
  • 1997  Ramzi Yousef is found guilty of masterminding the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.
  • 1999 The Düzce earthquake strikes Turkey with a magnitude of 7.2 on the Richter scale.
  • 2001 In New York City, American Airlines Flight 587, an Airbus A300 en route to the Dominican Republic, crashes minutes after takeoff from John F. Kennedy International Airport, killing all 260 on board and five on the ground.

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A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste much time.

They reached the ninth fairway, and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball, directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard and hit the ball right smack into the top of the tree trunk, where it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally been.

The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall.”

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The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater’s rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

Also: Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.

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ONE-LINERS: Useful Work Phrases

– I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

– I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

– It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of karma to burn off.

– Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

– No, my powers can only be used for good.

– How about never? Is never good for you?

– I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

– You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.

– I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

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pic of the day: Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

 

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
A: ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’

Q: What is lion’s favorite food?
A: Baked beings!

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When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.

“I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”

“Of course.” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

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Crazy Notes Left for the Milk Man

“My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle.”

“Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.”

“Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.”

“From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.”

“My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table , because we want to play bingo tonight.”

“Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday…or is it today ?”

“When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don’t leave any milk.”

“No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: PIZZA trivia

~The idea of flat bread found its way to Italy where, in the 18th century, the flat breads called “Pizzas”, were sold on the streets and in the markets.

~In 1889  Queen Margherita, accompanied by her husband, Umberto I, took an inspection tour of her Italian Kingdom. During her travels around Italy she saw many people, especially the peasants, eating this large, flat bread. Curious, she ordered her guards to bring her one of these Pizza breads and ate one every time she was out amongst the people, which caused some consternation in Court circles.

~There are approximately 61,269 pizzerias in the United States. And there are over 9,000 pizzeria’s in New York alone.

~Men wearing muscle shirts when answering the door order pepperoni three times more than any other kind of pizza.

~Instead of American food, Italian food ranks as the most popular ethnic food in America.

~94% of the population of the U.S. eats pizza

~Americans eat approximately 100 acres of pizza EACH DAY, or about 350 slices per second.

October is National Pizza Month. It was first so designated in 1987.

~Saturday night is the biggest night of the week for eating pizza.

~Pepperoni is America’s favorite topping, (

~Anchovies are Americans’ least favorite topping.

~In the Netherlands, the “Double Dutch” is a favorite pizza recipe: double cheese, double onions, and double beef. (Source: Domino’s)

~In Saudi Arabia, all meat toppings must be 100% beef.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last – Robert Louis Stevenson.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Every achievement, big or small, begins in your mind.Mary Kay Ash