Jokes and Trivia for August 27, 2012

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you. – Sholom Aleichem

TODAY – AUGUST 27th – MONDAY

240th of 2012 with 126  follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Just Because Day

*National Pots de Crème Day

*Banana Lovers Day

*Lyndon Baines Johnson Day (Texas)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1858 Giuseppe Peano, Spinetta, Piedmont, Italy,mathematician (founder of mathematical logic and set theory)
  • 1865 Charles Dawes, Marietta, Ohio, 3oth Vice President of the U.S. (Calvin Coolidge president; Nobel/ Dawes Plan for WWI reparations)
  • 1874 Carl Bosch, Cologne, Germany, chemist (pioneer in the field of high-pressure industrial chemistry and founder of IG Farben)
  • 1899 C.S. Forestor, Cairo, Egypt, English author (Horatio Hornblower series, The African Queen, A Ship of the Line)
  • 1908 Lyndon B. Johnson, Stonewall, Texas, 36th President of the U.S. (1963-1965)
  • 1909 Lester Young, Woodville, Mississippi, American musician
  • 1915 Norman Foster Ramsey, Washington,  physicist (Separated oscillatory field method)
  • 1916 Martha Raye, Butte, Montana, actress (Never Say Die, Keep ‘Em Flying, Pufnstuf, Alice)
  • 1937 Tommy Sands, Chicago, Illinois,  actor and singer
  • 1942 Daryl Dragon, Los Angeles, California, keyboardist (Captain & Tennille)
  • 1943 Tuesday Weld, NYC, New York, actress (Looking for Mr. Goodbar, The Winter of Our Discontent, Once Upon a Time in America, Pretty Poison, A Safe Place, I Walk the Line, Play It As It Lays)
  • 1947 Barbara Bach, Queens, New York, actress (The Spy Who Loved Me, Force 10 from Navarone)
  • 1949 Jeff Cook, Fort Payne, Alabama,  musician (Alabama)
  • 1961 Yolanda Adams, Houston, Texas, singer (gospel)
  • 1969 Cesar Millan, Mexican-born American dog trainer (The Dog Whisperer)
  • 1969 Chandra Wilson, Houston, Texas, actress (Grey’s Anatomy)
  • 1970 Tony Kanal, Kingsbury, London, England,  English musician (No Doubt)
  • 1979 Aaron Paul, Emmett, Idaho,  actor (Big Love, Breaking Bad )

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Whatever you are, be a good one. – Abraham Lincoln

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1776 The Battle of Long Island: in what is now Brooklyn, New York, British forces under General William Howe defeat Americans under General George Washington.
  • 1832 Black Hawk, leader of the Sauk tribe of Native Americans, surrenders to U.S. authorities, ending the Black Hawk War.
  • 1859 Petroleum is discovered in Titusville, Pennsylvania leading to the world’s first commercially successful oil well.
  • 1861 Union forces attack Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.
  • 1939 First flight of the turbojet-powered Heinkel He 178, the world’s first jet aircraft.
  • 1962 The Mariner 2 unmanned space mission is launched to Venus by NASA.
  • 2003 Mars makes its closest approach to Earth in nearly 60,000 years, passing 34,646,418 miles (55,758,005 km) distant.
  • 2003 The first six-party talks, involving South and North Korea, the United States, China, Japan and Russia, convene to find a peaceful resolution to the security concerns as a result of the North Korean nuclear weapons program.
  • 2006 Comair Flight 5191 crashes on takeoff from Blue Grass Airport in Lexington, Kentucky bound for Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta, Georgia. Of the passengers and crew, 49 of 50 are confirmed dead in the hours following the crash.

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When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.

“I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”

“Of course.” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

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The other day I went into a toy store to buy a gift for my daughter. I said to the clerk, “How much are those Barbie dolls?”

“Work Out Barbie, Shopping Barbie, Disco Barbie, Ballerina Barbie, Astronaut Barbie and Skater Barbie are all $19.95, and Divorced Barbie is $265.95.”

“So why is Divorced Barbie so much more than the others?”

“That’s because Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer …”

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ONE-LINERS: Things I’d Like to Hear, Just Once

From my doctor:

“Of course I’ll come by your house to check on you.”
“Give me a call at home over the weekend if you’re not feeling better.”
“Sure, come on by this afternoon, we’ll work you in.”
“I’ll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test.”
“Here, take these samples.”
“Don’t worry about it, there’s no charge for that.”
“I recommend you get a second opinion.”

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pic of the day: Bullfrog on a Log

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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Three old ladies are sitting on a bench outside their nursing home when an old man walks by. One of the old ladies yells out, “Wanna bet we can tell exactly how old you are?”

“There’s no way you can guess that, you silly old fools.”

“Sure we can! Just drop your pants and we can tell your exact age.”

The old man drops his drawers.

“The undershorts too.”

He complies.

“Now turn around twice. Then jump up and down three times.”

Determined to prove them wrong, he does as they ask.

“You’re 87 years old!”

“Why … you’re right! How in the world did you guess my age?”

“We were at your birthday party yesterday.”

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“I never eat food containing unnatural coloring or preservatives, or sprayed vegetables, or meat that has been pumped with hormones or similar, unnatural growth-enhancing stuff.”

“Well, how do you feel?”

“Very hungry.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Pots de Crème

~Pots de Creme refers to both the custard dessert as well as the small lidded pots this dessert is served in.

~Pots de creme, or pot-au-creme translates from French to English as “pot of cream”.

~The French do not have a word for “custard” the dish is simply referred to as “creme”.

~The pots may also be referred to as “petits pots“.

~Custards as we know them today date back to the Middle Ages when it was used as a filling for a Flan or a Tart.

~The word custard is derived from “crustade” which is a tart with a crust.

~ After the 16th century fruit creams became popular and it was about this time that custards were made in individual dishes rather than a filling in a crust.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right – Henry Ford.