Jokes and Trivia for April 5, 2013

A successful person is one who can lay a solid foundation from the bricks others have thrown at them. – David Brinkley

TODAY – APRIL 5th – FRIDAY

95th day of 2013 with 270 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

* Go For Broke Day

* National Pecan Month

* National Raisin and Spice Bar Day

* National Walk to Work Day (first Friday of April)

*Keep America Beautiful Month (National Day of Action, Saturday, April 6th)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1649 Elihu Yale, England, philanthropist who founded Yale
  • 1827 Joseph Lister, England, physician (founded aseptic surgery)
  • 1856 Booker Taliaferro Washington, Hale’s Ford, Virginia, pioneer educator (1st black on US stamp)
  • 1872 Samuel Cate Prescott, South Hampton, New Hampshire, scientist and microbiologist (development of food safety, food science, public health & industrial microbiology)
  • 1900 Spencer Tracy, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, actor (Father’s Little Dividend, Adam’s Rib)
  • 1901 Melvyn Douglas, Macon, Georgia, actor (Hud, Being There, Hotel, Ghost Story, Annie Oakley)
  • 1908 Bette Davis, Lowell, Massachusetts, actress (Of Human Bondage, Jezebel)
  • 1916 Gregory Peck, La Jolla, California, actor (To Kill a Mockingbird, MacArthur)
  • 1917 Robert [Albert] Bloch, Chicago, Illinois, sci-fi author (Hugo/Psycho; The Amazing Captain Nemo, Night World, American Gothic)
  • 1920 Arthur Hailey, British-Canadian author (Runway Zero-Eight, The Final Diagnosis, Hotel, Airport, The Moneychangers)
  • 1933 Frank Gorshin, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, actor (The Riddler in Batman tv-series, Mail Order Bride, The Meteor Man)
  • 1937 Colin Powell, NYC, General/advisor to President George Bush (Nat Security Affairs)/Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (1989-93)/Secretary of State
  • 1937 Allan R. Thieme, Bridgeport, Michigan, inventor (1st power operated vehicle/scooter, the Amigo in 1968)
  • 1941 Michael Moriarty, Detroit, Michigan, actor (Ben Stone-Law & Order, Bang the Drum Slowly, Q, Stuff)
  • 1943 Max Gail, Detroit, Michigan, actor (Dective Wojchiehowicz on Barney Miller, D.C. Cab, Tillamook Treasure)
  • 1949 Dr Judith Arlene Resnik, Akron, Ohio, astronaut (STS 41D, 51L-Challenger disaster)
  • 1951 Dean Kamen, Rockville Centre, New York, inventor (Segway PT, human transporter w/computer-controlled gyroscopic stabilization and control system)
  • 1952 Mitch Pileggi, Portland, Oregon, actor (Walter Skinner on The X-Files, Stargate Atlantis, Flash of Genius)
  • 1971 Krista Allen, Ventura, California, actress (Days of Our Lives, What About Brian, LIar Liar, Confessions of A Dangerous Mind, Anger Management, The Final Destination)
  • 1981 Michael A. Monsoor, Long Beach, California, Navy Seal (5 awards inc. Medal of Honor/2006 smothered grenade with his body, to save comrades from injury or death)
  • 1982 Hayley Atwell, English actress (A View From the Bridge, The Duchess, Captain America: The First Avenger)

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Life isnt about learning how to weather the storm. its about learning how to dance in the rain. – via Monica Fish

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1614 Indian princess Pocahontas marries English colonist John Rolfe.
  • 1621 Mayflower sails from Plymouth on a return trip to England.
  • 1722 Jacob Roggeveen discovers Easter Island.
  • 1792 George Washington casts first presidential veto.
  • 1804 High Possil Meteorite: The first recorded meteorite in Scotland falls in Possil.
  • 1922 The American Birth Control League, forerunner of Planned Parenthood, is incorporated.
  • 1923 Firestone Tire & Rubber Company puts their inflatable tires into production.
  • 1933 President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs Executive Order 6102 “forbidding the Hoarding of Gold Coin, Gold Bullion, and Gold Certificates” by U.S. citizens.
  • 1949 Fireside Theater debuts on television.
  • 1951 Julius & Ethel Rosenberg, atomic spies, sentenced to death.
  • 1955 Winston Churchill resigns as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom amid indications of failing health.
  • 1958 Ripple Rock, an underwater threat to navigation in the Seymour Narrows in Canada is destroyed in one of the largest non-nuclear controlled explosions of the time.
  • 1987 Wayne Gretzky wins 7th straight NHL scoring title.
  • 1998 In Japan, the Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge linking Shikoku with Honsh and costing about $3.8 billion USD, opens to traffic, becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world.
  • 2010 Twenty-nine coal miners are killed in an explosion at the Upper Big Branch Mine in West Virginia.

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“Do you sing in the shower?”

“Yes, I sing a lot. Sometimes I use my voice just to kill time.”

“You certainly have a fine weapon.”

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Customer to clerk in a furniture store: “I’m interested in a bookcase.”

“Yes sir. We have several sizes and finishes. There’s the standard case, the library case, the modern case, the video case and the lawyer case.”

“Why do they call it the lawyer case?”

“If you look carefully, you’ll notice that they’re made just a little crooked.”

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ONE-LINERS: The Funny Things Kids Say:

~ JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

~ MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied, ‘I’m so old I don’t remember any more.’ Melanie said, ‘If you don’t remember just look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.’

~ BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer.  She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained, ‘It’s a child-proof cap. I’ll have to open it for you.’ Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’

~ SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups.  ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said, ‘It makes my teeth cough.’

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pic of the day: Swallowtail Caterpillar

Swallowtail caterpillar

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ We never got the tent up because of all the missed stakes we had.

~ How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.

~ Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

~ Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

~ When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.

~ After winter, the trees are relieved.

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“I’m never late with an alimony payment.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m afraid that if I fall behind in my payments she might repossess me.”

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Random Thoughts:

~ Some minds are like concrete–all mixed up and permanently set.
~ Some people are wise; some are otherwise.
~ Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell your storm how big your God is.
~ Success is 10% inspiration, 90% last-minute changes.
~ The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
~ The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
~ The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

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When I got home yesterday the house was empty so I decided to help by starting dinner. First I went to make the salad. I searched high and low for the big salad bowl and finally found it — in the refrigerator, half full of Kool Aid.

“Who on earth put Kool Aid in a bowl?”

I looked around and found some empty soda bottles, rinsed them out and, using a funnel, transferred the Kool Aid to the bottles and returned them to the fridge.

I then made the salad and started the rest of the dinner. Later, my wife came home with a load of groceries. As she was putting them into the fridge, she suddenly stopped and asked out loud, “Who on earth put my Jello in pop bottles?”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: RAISINS

~Half of the world’s supply of raisins are grown in California. And is now the world’s leading producer of raisins.

~It takes more than 4 tons of grapes to produce 1 ton of raisins.

~The finest raisins come from Malaga in Spain.

~Fresno, California is the Raisin Capital of the World.

~Raisin – comes from the Latin racemus and means “a cluster of grapes or berries”.

~The California Dancing Raisin was introduced in 1984 by the California Raisin Industry marketing staff to increase awareness and demand for California raisins.

~11th century – Crusader knights first introduced raisins to Europe when they returned home from the Mediterranean.

~14th century – Raisins became an important part of European cuisine. They became so valuable that two jars of raisins could be traded for one slave!

~Today 95 percent of California raisins are made from Thompson seedless grapes.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: It’s better to be quotable than to be honest. – Tom Stoppard

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed. – Buddha quotes