Jokes and Trivia for February 22, 2012

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. – Anais Nin

TODAY – FEBRUARY 22nd – WEDNESDAY

53rd day of 2012 with 313 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*World Thinking Day

* Be Humble Day

* St. Lucia Independence Day

* National Margarita Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

1732 George Washington, Westmoreland Co. Virginia, 1st American President (1789-97).
1778 Rembrandt Peale, Bucks Co., Pennsylvania, artist (George Washington, Thomas Jefferson paintings)
1857 Heinrich Hertz, German physicist, 1st to broadcast & receive radio waves
1857 Lord Robert Baden-Powell, English founder of Boy Scouts
1889 Olave Baden-Powell, English founder of the Girl Guide (Girl Scouts)
1892 Edna St Vincent Millay, Rockland, Maine, poet/writer/feminist (Harp Weaver-Pulitzer Prize)
1907 Robert Young, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Father Knows Best, Marcus Welby MD)
1913 Buddy Tate, Chandler, Arizona, tenor jass saxophonist (Big Band & Jazz Hall of Fame)
1918 Robert Wadlow, Alton, Illinois, tallest human being at 8 ft. 11.1 inches (2.72m)
1932 Ted Kennedy, Boston, Massachusetts, politician (former Senator Mass.)
1948 John Ashton, Springfield, Massachusetts, actor (M*A*S*H, Midnight Run, Dallas, Beverly Hills Cop, Little Big League)
1950 Julius Erving, Roosevelt, New York, basketball player (Dr. J)
1952 Bill Frist, Nashville, Tennessee, physician, businessman, U.S. senator from Tennessee
1959 Kyle MacLachlan, Yakimac Washington, actor (Paul Atreides in Dune, Twin Peaks, Desperate Housewives)
1962 Steve Irwin, Australian herpetologist – The Crocodile Hunter (d. 2006)
1968 Jeri Ryan, Germany (dad in US Army), actress (7 of 9/ST Voyager, Shark, Leverage, Boston Public)
1975 Drew Barrymore, CA, actress (ET, Firestarter, Poison Ivy, Altered States)
1986 Miko Hughes, Apple Valley CA, actor (Mercury Rising, Full House, Apollo 13)

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Scared and sacred are spelled with the same letters. Awful proceeds from the same root word as awesome. Terrify and terrific. Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation. – Alan Cohen

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

1371 Robert II became King of Scotland, beginning the Stuart dynasty.
1856 Republican Party opens its first national meeting in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
1821 Spain sells (east) Florida to United States for $5 million by proclamation of Adams-Onis Treaty.
1879 First 5¢ & 10¢ store opened by Frank W Woolworth in Utica NY.
1889 President Cleveland signs bill to admit Dakotas, Montana & Washington as states.
1924 Calvin Coolidge first President of US to deliver a radio broadcast from the White House.
1956 Elvis Presley’s first hit in Billboard’s top 10 “Heartbreak Hotel”.
1959 First Daytona 500 auto race – Lee Petty wins (135.521 MPH).
1974 Samuel Byck tries and fails to assassinate U.S. President Richard Nixon.
1980 US ice hockey team defeats Soviet Union team at 1980 Winter Olympic Games in an upset dubbed the “Miracle on Ice”.
1997 In Roslin, Scotland, scientists announce that an adult sheep named Dolly had been successfully cloned.

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When my grandson and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.

Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights!”

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ONE-LINERS: Fifth Grade Science Opinions

1. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom.

2. Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.

3. The fours seasons are: salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

4. The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

5. Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

6. Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.

7. A monsoon is a French gentleman.

8. To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

9. Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.

10. You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

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pic of the day: Tufted Titmouse Bird

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

One day I was building a bookcase and every now and then I would hit my thumb with the hammer. I would shout “Quack, quack!” then go back to work until I hit my thumb again … and again the “Quack, quack”.

Well my wife came over and asked, “Why are you saying quack quack all the time?”

“It’s the only foul language I know.”

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One day a hillbilly walks into a police station because he wants to get a job as a deputy, which he’s wanted to be his whole life. So he goes over to the sheriff’s desk and says to the sheriff,”I’m hear to be a deputy.”

The sheriff laughs and says, “Well lets see if you’re qualified, son.” The sheriff asks him a question and the hillbilly gives him an answer. The sheriff says, “Close enough.”

The sheriff then asks him, “What are two days of the week that begin with ‘T’?”

“Today and tomorrow,” says the hillbilly.

“Not what I was looking for but I’ll give it to ya,” says the sheriff.

“Who shot Abraham Lincoln?” the sheriff asks.

The hillbilly justs stands there with a blank look on his face.

“Why don’t you go home, think about it and come back tomorrow,” the sheriff says to the hillbilly.

So the hillbilly goes home and his wife says to him, “So sweetpea, did you get the job?”

“I think so, they’ve already put me on a murder case.”

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Golden Oldie… The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in the street yelling for help. A man passing by took the boy by his shoulders and hit him with a few strong strokes on the back, and he coughed the coin out.

“I don’t know how to thank you, doctor,” his mother started.

“I’m not a doctor,” the man replied. “I’m from the IRS.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: The Tallest Man? It’s Robert Wadlow

~Robert Wadlow is recorded as being the tallest person in the world with a height of 8 feet 11 inches. He is often known as the “Alton Giant” because of his Alton, Illinois hometown.
~ Biblically, there is one person recorded being 6 cubits and a span which is about 10½ feet tall and his name is Goliath of Gath, a Philistine. You can read about him in 1 Samuel chapter 17.

~By the time Robert was 8 years old his height had reached 6 feet.

~Robert Wadlow reached 8’11.1″ (272 cm) in height and weighed 490 pounds (220 kg) at his death. His great size and his continued growth in adulthood was due to hypertrophy of his pituitary gland which results in an abnormally high level of human growth hormone.

~In 1985, a life-size bronze statue of Robert Wadlow by Ned Giberson was erected at the Southern Illinois University Edwardsville School of Dental Medicine. He is also feature in film and with a wax replica in the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! museum in Saint Augustine, Florida, Atlantic City, New Jersey, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Gold Coast, Queensland and Guadalajara, Mexico. And a life-sized statue was part of the exhibits at the Guinness Hall of World Records in the Empire State Building in New York City.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: Try to please everybody. – Herbert Baynard Swope

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others. – Danny Thomas