Jokes and Trivia for February 25, 2013

The only way to have a friend is to be one. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

TODAY – FEBRUARY 25th – MONDAY

56thday of 2013 with 309 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Pistol Patent Day

*National Clam Chowder Day

*National Chocolate-Covered Nuts Day

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1841 Pierre-Auguste Renoir, French painter and sculptor (The Bohemian, The Swing, Luncheon of the Boating Party, By the Seashore)
  • 1869 Phoebus Levene, Russian-American biochemist (found that DNA contained adenine, guanine, thymine, cytosine, deoxyribose, and a phosphate group)
  • 1873 Enrico Caruso, Italian tenor
  • 1908 Frank G. Slaughter, Washington, D.C.,  author (That None Should Die, Sangaree, Doctors’ Wives, Epidemic, Plague Ship, No Greater Love, Buccaneer Surgeon)
  • 1917 Anthony Burgess, English author (A Clockwork Orange, Earthly Powers, Nothing Like the Sun, Beard’s Roman Women, Any Old Iron)
  • 1918 Bobby Riggs, Los Angeles, California, tennis player (3 Grand Slam Titles, 3 Pro Slam)
  • 1927 Ralph Stanley, Southwest Virginia, musician (Stanley Brothers)
  • 1935 Sally Jessy Raphaël, Easton, Pennsylvania, talk show host (Sally)
  • 1938 Diane Baker, Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, actress (Journey to the Center of the Earth, Nine Hours to Rama, The Invaders, Route 66, The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit, The Silence of the Lambs, Hemingway & Gellhorn)
  • 1942 John Saul, Pasadena, California, author (Suffer the Children, Cry for the Strangers, The God Project, Hellfire, Creature, Blackstone Chronicles, House of Reckoning)
  • 1943 George Harrison, Liverpool, England, One of the four Beatles
  • 1952 Jerry Chamberlain, Inglewood, California,  musician (Daniel Amos and The Swirling Eddies)
  • 1961 Chris Pitman, Kansas City, Missouri, keyboardist (Guns N’ Roses)
  • 1961 Davey Allison, Hollywood, Florida, NASCAR race car driver (#28 Texaco-Havoline Ford for Robert Yates Racing / died in helicopter crash)
  • 1962 Foster Sylvers, Pasadena, California,  singer, (The Sylvers)
  • 1965 Carrot Top (Scott Thompson), Rockledge, Florida, comedian
  • 1966 Samantha Phillips, Savage, Maryland,  actress (Cheerleader Massacre, Deceit, Phantasm II, Fallen Angel, Rescue Me)
  • 1971 Sean Astin, Santa Monica, California, actor (Samwise Gamgee in Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Goonies, 24, The Witches of Oz)
  • 1975 Chelsea Handler, Livingston, New Jersey,  comedian, author, and actress  (The Bernie Mac Show, Reno 911!, Whitney, Are You There Chelsea?, Chelsea Lately)
  • 1979 Jennifer Ferrin, Lawrenceville, Georgia, actress (The Locket, As The World Turns, Life on Mars, 39 Steps)
  • 1986 Justin Berfield, Los Angeles County, California,  actor (Malcolm in the Middle, The Good Life, Unhappily Ever After, The Kid with X-Ray Eyes )
  • 1997 Isabelle Fuhrman, Washington, D.C., actress (Orphan, The Hunger Games, After Earth)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success. – Napoleon Hill

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1836 Samuel Colt is granted a United States patent for the Colt revolver.
  • 1870 Hiram Rhodes Revels, a Republican from Mississippi, is sworn into the United States Senate, becoming the first African American ever to sit in the U.S. Congress.
  • 1875 Guangxu Emperor of China began his reign, under Empress Dowager Cixi’s regency.
  • 1901 J. P. Morgan incorporates the United States Steel Corporation.
  • 1919 Oregon places a 1 cent per U.S. gallon tax on gasoline, becoming the first U.S. state to levy a gasoline tax.
  • 1928 Charles Jenkins Laboratories of Washington, D.C. becomes the first holder of a television license from the Federal Radio Commission.
  • 1932 Adolf Hitler obtains German citizenship by naturalization, which allows him to run in the 1932 election for Reichspräsident.
  • 1933 The USS Ranger is launched. It is the first US Navy ship to be built solely as an aircraft carrier.
  • 1951 The first Pan American Games are held in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
  • 1986 People Power Revolution: President of the Philippines Ferdinand Marcos flees the nation after 20 years of rule; Corazon Aquino becomes the Philippines’ first woman president.
  • 1991 Gulf War: An Iraqi scud missile hits an American military barracks in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia killing 28 U.S. Army Reservists from Pennsylvania.
  • 1991 Warsaw Pact declared disbanded.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?”

“You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”

Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”

“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: QUOTES ABOUT CATS

“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.” – Anonymous

“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.”  – Albert Schweitzer

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.”  – Ernest Menaul

“No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me.”  – Anonymous

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”  – Colette

“Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.”  – Missy Dizick

“You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.”  – Colonial American proverb

“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.”  – Joseph Wood Krutch

“Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.”  – John S. Nichols

“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.” — Leonardo Da Vinci

“Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.”  — Anonymous

“Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” — Robert A. Heinlein

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Guinea Fowl Birds on Top of Pen

picture of guinea birds

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q: What are the four basic food groups?
A: Canned, frozen, take-out and pizza
—–

Dead batteries were on sale free of charge.
—–

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was  quite an oar deal.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

It’s thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits.

“Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network back to life,” says the tech.

Next morning, the phone rings. It’s a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an unscheduled outage the day before. The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.

The Administrator’s response? “Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.

Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”

“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.

“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”

“Well,” said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but it’s sure worth two dollars.  It says on tv that with tampax you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: All About SAMUEL COLT 

~Samuel Colt invented the revolver, a pistol with multiple chambers for bullets.  He patented it in Europe in 1835, and in the United States in 1836.

~He collaborated with Captain Samuel Walker of the Texas Rangers on the design of the “Walker Colt.”

~It was thought to make this day was to honor Samuel Colt, although his birthday is in July.  However, on this day in 1836 he was granted a patent for the Colt Revolver in the U.S.

~Almost every pistol carried by U.S. soldiers and sailors from 1912 through the Vietnam War were made by Colt. Almost every rifle carried by U.S. soldiers and sailors from Vietnam through Iraqi Freedom was made by Colt.

~His company, long after his death, has been responsible for many innovations and the manufacturing capability that have kept them a supplier to governments around the world, law enforcement agencies and the U.S. military for 150+ years.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

QUIP OF THE DAY: Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. – John Adams

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *