Jokes and Trivia for November 9, 2012

Nothing is likely to help a person overcome or endure troubles than the consciousness of having a task in life. – Viktor Frankl

TODAY – NOVEMBER 9th – FRIDAY

314th day of 2012 with 52 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Chaos Never Dies Day

*World Freedom Day (commemorates fall of Berlin Wall)

*National Scrapple Day

*Native American Heritage Month

*Real Jewelry Month

*National Sleep Comfort Month

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1897 Ronald George Wreyford Norrish, British chemist (Norrish reaction)
  • 1898 Leonard Carmichael, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  psychologist and educator (first scientist to study and catalogue the earliest development of children)
  • 1906 Arthur Rudolph, German / American rocket engineer (key role in development of V-2 rocket / pioneer of U.S. Space program)
  • 1913 Hedy Lamarr, Vienna, Austria, actress and inventor (known for her great beauty, but also co-invented the first form of spread spectrum, a key to modern wireless communication. Beauty & Brains!)
  • 1928 Anne Sexton, Newton, Massachusetts,  poet (To Bedlam and Part Way Back, Live or Die, The Starry Night)
  • 1934 Carl Sagan, New York City, New York, astronomer/author/professor (Cosmos, Broca’s Brain)
  • 1936 Mary Travers, Louisville, Kentucky, singer and songwriter (Peter, Paul and Mary)
  • 1941 Tom Fogerty, Berkeley, California,  musician (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
  • 1946 Benny Mardones, Cleveland, Ohio, pop singer and songwriter (Into the Night)
  • 1947 Robert David Hall, East Orange, New Jersey,  actor (Dr. Al Robbins / CSI: Crime Scene Investigation)
  • 1951 Lou Ferrigno, Brooklyn, New York,  bodybuilder and star of The Incredible Hulk
  • 1964 Robert Duncan McNeill, Raleigh, North Carolina,  actor / director  (Tom Paris in Star Trek: Voyager )
  • 1964 Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Kingston, Jamaica, West Indies, American musician (Salt-N-Pepa)
  • 1969 Allison Wolfe, Memphis, Tennessee, musician (Bratmobile, Cold Cold Hearts, Partyline)
  • 1972 Eric Dane, San Francisco, California, actor (Dr. Mark Sloane – Grey’s Anatomy; X-Men the Last Stand)
  • 1973 Nick Lachey, Harlan, Kentucky, singer (member of the boy band 98 Degrees)
  • 1988 Nikki Blonsky, Great Neck, New York,  actress (Hairspray, Queen Sized )

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go. – Bob Proctor

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1857 The Atlantic founded in Boston.
  • 1861 The first documented football match in Canada is played at University College, University of Toronto.
  • 1862 American Civil War: Union General Ambrose Burnside assumes command of the Army of the Potomac, after George B. McClellan is removed.
  • 1867 Tokugawa Shogunate hands power back to the Emperor of Japan, starting the Meiji Restoration.
  • 1906 Theodore Roosevelt is the first sitting President of the United States to make an official trip outside the country (to inspect progress on the Panama Canal).
  • 1921 Albert Einstein is awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for his work with the photoelectric effect.
  • 1935 The Congress of Industrial Organizations is founded in Atlantic City, New Jersey by eight trade unions belonging to the American Federation of Labor.
  • 1960 Robert McNamara is named president of Ford Motor Co., the first non-Ford to serve in that post. A month later, he quit to join the newly-elected John F. Kennedy administration.
  • 1965 Several U.S. states and parts of Canada are hit by a series of blackouts lasting up to 13 hours in the Northeast Blackout of 1965.
  • 1967 Apollo program: NASA launches the unmanned Apollo 4 test spacecraft atop the first Saturn V rocket from Cape Kennedy, Florida.
  • 1967 First issue of Rolling Stone Magazine is published.
  • 1989 Fall of the Berlin Wall. Communist-controlled East Germany opens checkpoints in the Berlin Wall allowing its citizens to freely travel to West Germany. People start demolishing the Berlin Wall.
  • 1993 Stari most, the “old bridge” in Bosnian Mostar built in 1566, collapses after several days of bombing.
  • 1994 The chemical element Darmstadtium is discovered.
  • 1998 Brokerage houses are ordered to pay 1.03 billion USD to cheated NASDAQ investors to compensate for their price-fixing. This is the largest civil settlement in United States history.
  • 1998 Capital punishment in the United Kingdom, already abolished for murder, is completely abolished for all remaining capital offences.
  • 2005 The Venus Express mission of the European Space Agency is launched from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan.
  • 2005 Suicide bombers attacked three hotels in Amman, Jordan, killing at least 60 people.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?”

The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.”

“OK,” said the son.

A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?”

“They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert.”

“Thanks Mom,” replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??”

The mother, now a little impatient with the son replies, “They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods.”

“That’s great Mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom…”

“Yes, son?”

“Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo then?”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Doug was describing a 30 pound bass he’d caught recently after fighting it for three hours.

Bill interrupted the story saying, “I saw the picture you took of that fish. You’re lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds.”

Doug replied, “Well . . . a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: Bizarre Items Left in Hotel Rooms

An international hotel chain has released information about the bizarre items left in hotel rooms. During 2007 this amounted to the value of some £750,000 [approx. $1,500,00USD].

Items included:

A monk’s habit 
£3,000 [$5,900 USD] engagement ring 
A false eye 
An artificial leg 
A blow up sheep 
Several leather whips 
Several expensive leather jackets 
8 posters of Jonathan Ross [a broadcaster in the UK] 
An inflatable sumo wrestler

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Rolls of Harvested Cotton

picture of big rolls of cotton

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Santa Claus walks into the clinic to get the H1N1 shot. The nurse looks up at him and says, “I would think a Jolly old Elf like you wouldn’t be worried about getting sick.”

Santa replied, “Are you kidding? With all those chimneys I go up and down, I need to get a flue shot more than anyone!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Dick was attending a conference in London and staying at a very smart hotel. His wife, Liz, travelled down to London from Birmingham on the Friday. She was to join Dick for the conference’s closing dinner/dance.

When she arrived, Dick was still in a meeting so she introduced herself to the receptionist and asked for the number of Mr Baker’s room.

She was duly given the number and the key and she took the lift to the 3rd floor.  Liz wanted to freshen up and be ready for Dick when he arrived back. She unpacked, popped her nightie under the bedcovers, showered and got ready for the evening.

Time passed and Liz became concerned that he hadn’t arrived back and she was worried as to whether they would make the dinner on time. By 8pm she rang reception to ask if Dick was in the bar; she was told that he had gone to his room some 2 hours earlier.

“What room?” spluttered Liz to the receptionist.

“Room 101, on the first floor”, answered the girl politely.

” But I’m in room 307,” exploded Liz in consternation.

“Oh dear,” said reception,” that must be another Mr. Baker’s room!”

Liz grabbed her belonging and dashed down to room 101. She forgot, of course, to remove her nightie. What a surprise for Mr Baker [and Mrs Baker?] on returning to the room.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her pastor she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart.

“Walmart?” the pastor exclaimed. “Why Walmart?”

“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: A Little about SCRAPPLE

~Scrapple, or pon haus, is made of “scraps” of pork combined with cornmeal and spices.

~Scrapple was created more than 200 years ago by Dutch colonists who settled near Philadelphia.and is typically eaten for breakfast, topped with syrup or ketchup.

~Scrapple was invented by the Pennsylvania Dutch (really Pennsylvania Deutsch) who settled in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania in the 1700s. These German farmers from the Rhineland believed in using every possible part of a butchered pig.

~The Lancaster County Pennsylvania Dutch brought their unique food to Philadelphia to sell. It became so popular there that many people think it originated in Philadelphia.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

QUIP OF THE DAY: My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. – Henny Youngman

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs