September 3, 2014

A man’s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

TODAY – SEPTEMBER 3rd – WEDNESDAY

246th day of 2014 with 119 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Grilled Cheese Day

*National Welsh Rarebit Day

*Skyscraper Day

*Merchant Navy Remembrance Day (Canada)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1783 Anna Russell, Duchess of Bedford, British Creator of Afternoon Tea
  • 1869 Fritz Pregl, Austrian chemist (Nobel / quantitative microelemental analysis)
  • 1875 Ferdinand Porsche, Austrian-German engineer and businessman (founded Porsche)
  • 1899 Frank Macfarlane Burnet, Traralgon, Victoria, Australian biologist (contributions to immunology)
  • 1905 Carl David Anderson, New York City, New York, physicist (discovered the positron)
  • 1908 Lev Semenovich Pontryagin, Russian mathematician (despite his blindness, became one of the greatest mathematicians of the 20th century)
  • 1913 Alan Ladd, Hot Springs, Arkansas, actor (This Gun for Hire, The Blue Dahlia, O.S.S., Whispering Smith, The Great Gatsby, Shane)
  • 1923 Glen Bell, Lynwood, California, businessman (founded Taco Bell)
  • 1923 Mort Walker, El Dorado, Kansas, comic artist (Beetle Bailey, Hi and Lois)
  • 1932 Eileen Brennan, Los Angeles, California, actress and singer (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, The Last Picture Show, Private Benjamin, Will & Grace)
  • 1942 Al Jardine, Lima, Ohio, guitarist (The Beach Boys)
  • 1943 Valerie Perrine, Galveston, Texas, actress (Lenny, Miss Teschmacher in Superman, The Border)
  • 1957 Steve Schirripa, Brooklyn, New York, actor (The Sopranos, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, Open Season, Jersey Boys)
  • 1965 Charlie Sheen, New York, New York, actor and producer (Platoon, Wall Street, Money Talks, Being John Malkovich, Spin City, Two and a Half Men, Anger Management)
  • 1976 Ashley Jones, Memphis, Tennessee, actress (The Young and the Restless, True Blood)
  • 1978 Nick Wechsler, Albuquerque, New Mexico, actor (Team Knight Rider, Roswell, Revenge )
  • 1983 Christine Woods, Lake Forest, Orange County, California, actress (FlashForward, Hello Ladies)
  • 1984 Garrett Hedlund, Roseau, Minnesota, actor (Friday Night Lights, Four Brothers, Eragon, Tron: Legacy)

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“It’s going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn’t know anything but what it’s seen on TV.” ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 301 San Marino, one of the smallest nations in the world and the world’s oldest republic still in existence, is founded by Saint Marinus.
  • 1783 American Revolutionary War ends with the signing of the Treaty of Paris by the United States and the Kingdom of Great Britain.
  • 1798 The week long battle of St. George’s Caye begins between Spain and Britain off the coast of Belize.
  • 1802 William Wordsworth composes the sonnet Composed upon Westminster Bridge, September 3, 1802.
  • 1875 The first official game of Polo is played in Argentina after being introduced by British Ranchers.
  • 1941 The Holocaust: Karl Fritzsch, deputy camp commandant of the Auschwitz concentration camp, experiments with the use of Zyklon B in the gassing of Soviet POWs.
  • 1950 “Nino” Farina becomes the first Formula One Drivers’ champion after winning the 1950 Italian Grand Prix.
  • 1951 The first long-running American television soap opera, Search for Tomorrow, airs its first episode on the CBS network.
  • 1976 Viking program: The American Viking 2 spacecraft lands at Utopia Planitia on Mars.
  • 1987 In a coup d’état in Burundi, President Jean-Baptiste Bagaza is deposed by Major Pierre Buyoya.
  • 1994 Sino-Soviet Split: Russia and the People’s Republic of China agree to de-target their nuclear weapons against each other.
  • 1997 Vietnam Airlines Flight 815 (Tupolev TU-134) crashes on approach into Phnom Penh airport, killing 64.
  • 1999 An 87-automobile pile-up happens on Highway 401 freeway just East of Windsor, Ontario, Canada after an unusually thick fog from Lake St. Clair.
  • 2004 Beslan school hostage crisis – day 3: the Beslan hostage crisis ends with the deaths of over 300 people, more than half of which are children.

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Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. “She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home,” she said.

“What an example of devotion,” Dave replied. “I wonder if you’d be that concerned about me?”

“Honey,” she answered, “if you were gone overnight, and I didn’t know where you were, you can be sure I’d be waiting for you at the front door.”

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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge.

The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls by the officials, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal.

When the official made yet another close call in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew his top. “How many times can you do this to us in a single game?” he screamed. “You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed a clip in the first quarter.”

The official just stared. The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. “What it comes down to,” he bellowed, “is that YOU STINK!”

The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback. “And how do I smell from here?

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ONE-LINERS: “Interesting” Headlines
~ Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
~ Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
~ Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
~ Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
~ Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
~ Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
~ Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
~ Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
~ Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
~ Miners Refuse to Work after Death
~ Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
~ Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
~ War Dims Hope for Peace
~ If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
~ Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
~ Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
~ Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
~ Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
~ Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
~ Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
~ New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
~ Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
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The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend. “Can we count you in?”

“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious, dear?”

“Oh yeah, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there are three other doctors there already!”

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pic of the day: Suwanee Canal in Okefenokee Swamp

picture of Suwanee Canal
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

When the Italian immigrant first arrived in the US, he was so poor he had no choice but to live in the ghetto. But he was a skilled businessman and eventually he made his fortune. Yet he didn’t want to forget his friends and neighbors who were so good to him during the early years.

Recognizing how much stress there was living in the ghetto, he went back there and built a spa where local residents could take hot tubs and get massages for free.

For the young people, he bought a lot, built a baseball diamond, and supplied some special baseballs that were easily caught in a baseball mitt, which gave the kids a feeling of competence and self worth.

That immigrant is credited with bringing to America the Italian tradition of spa ghetto and mitt balls.

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They’re not using lab rats in experiments any more.

Instead, they’re using lawyers. Three reasons: there are more of them; lab assistants don’t become attached to the lawyers; and there are some things a rat will not do.

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“My doctor is really nice to me.”

“Oh yeah? How nice is he?”

“Well for starters, he treated me for double pneumonia but he only billed me for one.

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A couple shared their apartment with a parakeet named “Nicky.”

The exterminator was scheduled to come, so they put Nicky in the bedroom and hung a sign on the door: “Please skip this room. Do not open door. Pet flies.”

The exterminator came. On his receipt he wrote this comment: “Finished all of the apartment except room with pet flies.”

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Overheard on the golf course: “What’s your handicap?”

“Oh, I’m a scratch golfer.”

“Really!”

“Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food – W. C. Fields.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Associate with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; it is better to be alone than in bad company. – George Washington

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