Jokes and Trivia for June 21, 2012

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses. – George Washington Carver

TODAY – JUNE 21st – THURSDAY

173rd day of 2012 with 193 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

* World Music Day

* Go Skateboarding Day

* Aimless Wandering Day

* National Peaches & Cream Day

*Baby Boomers Recognition Day

*Cuckoo Warning Day

* New Hampshire Statehood Day

* National Aboriginal Day (Canada)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1759 Alexander J. Dallas, American (born in Jamaica) statesman (Secretary of the Treasury) and financier (Dallas County, AL named for him.  In World War II the United States liberty ship SS Alexander J. Dallas was named in his honor.)
  • 1774 Daniel D Tompkins, Scarsdale, New York, (D-R), Congressman, Governor of New York, and sixth Vice President of the United States (1817-25)
  • 1850 Daniel Carter Beard, Cincinnati, Ohio, founder of the Boy Scouts of America
  • 1896 Charles B. Momsen, Flushing, New York, inventor (pioneer in submarine rescue and invented the underwater escape device called the Momsen Lung)
  • 1903 Al Hirschfeld, St. Louis, Missouri, cartoonist (best known for his simple black and white satirical portraits of celebrities and Broadway stars)
  • 1921 Jane Russell, Bernijdi, Minnesota, actress & sex symbol (The Outlaw, Paleface, Calamity Jane, Foxfire, Waco)
  • 1925 Maureen Stapleton, Troy, New York, actress (Lonelyhearts, Airport, Cocoon, Plaza Suite)
  • 1938 Ron Ely, Hereford, Texas, actor / author (Tarzan, Doc Savage, Aquanauts; Jake Sands books)
  • 1940 Mariette Hartley, Weston, Connecticut, actress (ST: All Our Yesterdays episode; Polaroid spokesperson, Marooned, Law & Order: SVU)
  • 1947 Meredith Baxter-Birney, So. Pasadena, California, actor (Family Ties, Bridget loves Bernie)
  • 1947 Michael Gross, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Family Ties, Tremors)
  • 1955 Tim Bray, Canadian computer programmer (Open Text Corp., Antartica, Android)
  • 1959 Kathy Mattea, So. Charleston, West Virginia, country music/bluegrass singer
  • 1967 Carrie Preston, Macon, Georgia, actress (Desperate Housewives, True Blood, The Stepford Wives)
  • 1973 Juliette Lewis, Los Angeles, California, actress (My Stepmother is an Alien, Cape Fear, Natural Born Killers, Cold Creek Manor, The Firm)
  • 1979 Chris Pratt, Virginia, Minnesota, actor (Everwood, The OC, Parks and Recreation, Moneyball)
  • 1982 Prince William of Wales

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All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out. – Albert Camus

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1788 New Hampshire ratifies the Constitution and is thus admitted as the 9th state in the United States.
  • 1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick patents reaping machine.
  • 1887 Britain celebrates golden jubilee of Queen Victoria.
  • 1898 Guam becomes a U.S. territory.
  • 1948 1st stored computer program run, on Manchester Mark I (first machine with all components now classically regarded as characteristic of the basic computer. first computer that could store not only data but any (short!) user program in electronic memory and process it at electronic speed.)
  • 1963 Pope Paul VI (Giovanni Battista Montini) succeeds John XXIII.
  • 1977 Menachem Begin (Likud), becomes Israel’s sixth prime minister.
  • 1982 John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of insanity for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ronald Reagan.
  • 1990 Little Richard gets a star on Hollywood’s walk of fame.
  • 2002 The World Health Organization declares Europe polio free.
  • 2004 SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight.
  • 2006 Pluto’s newly discovered moons are officially christened Nix & Hydra.

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In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.

The copier is out of order!
Yes, we have called the service man.
Yes, he will be in today.
No, we cannot fix it.
No, we do not know how long it will take.
No, we do not know what caused it.
No, we do not know who broke it.
Yes, we are keeping it.
No, we do not know what you are going to do now.

Thank You

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ONE-LINERS: For College Students
Start Worrying When…

You consider McDonalds ‘real food’.

4.00AM is still early on weekends.

You’d rather clean than study.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

Re-arranging your room is your favorite pastime.

You schedule classes around sleep and TV soaps.

There is less then $4.50 in your bank account at any given time.

The Visa cards are full and the overdraft is up to its limit.

Computer solitaire is more than a game, its a way of life.

You get excited when you find change that someone carelessly left in the drinks machine

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pic of the day: Daylilies

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Coming into my kitchen in the middle of the night,
I was amazed to discover my spice and herb jars
walking in unison across the counter in lockstep.
Shocked at such behavior, I banished them back to the spice rack.

All but one meekly obeyed; One herb refused to give up its procession across my counter top.

Why? Because thyme marches on.

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“Some friends and I formed a partnership and bought a cattle ranch.”

“How’s it working out?”

“Not so well. We couldn’t agree on what to name it. Everybody had a different idea.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad. What name did you end up with?”

“We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch.”

“So how many head of cattle do you have?”

“None.”

“None?”

“Nope. None of ’em survived the branding.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: SKATEBOARDING

~Of all active skateboarders in the United States of America, more than half live in the state of California.

~Skateboarding is the sixth more popular sport on the planet in terms of total participants.

~Approximately 100,000 people every year require some sort of medical treatment for skateboard-related injuries.

~Can you guess which body part is injured more than any other during skateboarding? If you answered the wrist, give yourselves a prize.

~When skateboarding first began, it was referred to as sidewalk surfing.

~You could never tell by the naked eye, but most common or popular skateboard decks are actually made from seven separate pieces of plywood maple.

~Between 1978 and 1989, skateboards were banned in Norway.

~Duke McCallister has one philosophy when it comes to skateboards: and that’s to go skate or go home!

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QUIP OF THE DAY: You have not lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

We as for long life, but ’tis deep life, or noble moments that signify. Let the measure of time be spiritual, not mechanical. – Ralph Waldo Emerson