Jokes and Trivia for January 10, 2013

There are mystically in our faces certain characters which carry in them the motto of our souls, wherein he that cannot read A, B, C may read our natures. – Sir Thomas Browne

TODAY – JANUARY 10th – THURSDAY

10th day of 2013 with 355 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Bittersweet Chocolate Day

*Houseplant Appreciation Day

*Peculiar People Day

*National Soup Month

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1638 Nicolas Steno, Copenhagen, Danish geologist (father of geology and stratigraphy)
  • 1729 Lazzaro Spallanzani, Scandiano, Italian biologist (stated digestion is a process of chemical solution, and helped disprove the concept of spontaneous generation)
  • 1738 Ethan Allen, Litchfield, Connecticut, Revolutionary War fighter (led the Green Mountain Boys)
  • 1883 Aleksey Nikolayevich Tolstoy, Russian writer (created some of earliest science fiction in Russian language: Aelita, The Hyperboloid of Engineer Garin)
  • 1890 Grigory Landsberg, Vologda, Russian physicist, a co-discoverer of inelastic combinatorial scattering of light used now in Raman spectroscopy
  • 1898  Katharine Blodgett, Schenectady, New York, scientist and inventor (invented low-reflectance “invisible” glass)
  • 1916 Sune Bergström, Stockholm, Sweden, biochemist (Nobel / discoveries concerning prostaglandins and related substances)
  • 1928 Philip Levine, Detroit, Michigan,  poet (The Bread of Time)
  • 1936 Robert Woodrow Wilson, Houston, Texas, co-discoverer of cosmic microwave background radiation (Nobel prize Physics 1978)
  • 1938 Donald Knuth, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, mathematician and computer scientist (father of the analysis of algorithms)
  • 1940 Harry Gant, Taylorsville, North Carolina, retired NASCAR driver (#33 Skoal Bandits car)
  • 1943 Jim Croce, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, singer/songwriter (Time in a Bottle, Bad Bad Leroy Brown)
  • 1944 William Sanderson, Memphis, Tennessee, actor (Painted Forrest , Deadwood, Avatar)
  • 1944 Frank Sinatra, Jr., Jersey City, New Jersey,  singer (“Tales of a Third Grade Nothing” )
  • 1949 George Foreman, Houston TX, world HW boxing champ (1973-74, 95)
  • 1953 Pat Benatar, Greenpoint, Brooklyn,  singer (Love Is a Battlefield, Hit Me with Your Best Shot, We Belong and Heartbreaker)
  • 1961 Evan Handler, New York, New York, actor, author & leukemia patient advocate (Time On Fire: My Comedy of Terrors, story of his recovery from Acute myeloid leukemia in his mid-twenties)
  • 1961 Janet Jones, Bridgeton, Missouri,  actress (Annie, Staying Alive and Snow White Live  )
  • 1973 Ryan Drummond, Lima, Ohio, voice actor (best known as the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog in the popular Sega video game)

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Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. – Hippocrates

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 49 BC Julius Caesar crosses the Rubicon, signaling the start of civil war.
  • 1776 “Common Sense”, by Thomas Paine, published.
  • 1861  American Civil War: Florida secedes from the Union.
  • 1870 John D Rockefeller incorporates Standard Oil.
  • 1901 The first great Texas oil gusher is discovered at Spindletop in Beaumont, Texas.
  • 1916 Erzerum Offensive during World War I, Russian victory over Ottoman Empire
  • 1920 The League of Nations holds its first meeting, and ratifies the Treaty of Versailles, therefore ending World War I.
  • 1922 Arthur Griffith is elected President of the Irish Free State.
  • 1929 Tintin, a comic book character created by Hergé, made his debut. This comic strip was eventually published in over 200 million comic books in 40 languages.
  • 1929 The Ring-tailed Lemur is officially listed at the type species for the genus Lemur by the International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature (ICZN) when it published Opinion 122, even though the genus originally described lorises.
  • 1941 Lend-Lease is introduced in the U.S. Congress.
  • 1949 RCA introduced the “single”, the 7-inch diameter 45 rpm record in the U.S. A
  • 1962 Apollo Project: NASA announces plans to build the C-5 rocket booster. It became better known as the Saturn V moon rocket, which launched every Apollo moon mission.
  • 2000 America Online announces an agreement to buy Time Warner for $162 billion, the largest corporate merger in history at the time.
  • 2003 Illinois Governor George Ryan commutes the death sentences of 167 prisoners on Illinois’ death row based on the Jon Burge scandal.
  • 2005 A mudslide occurs in La Conchita, California, killing 10 people, injuring many more and closing the Highway 101, the main coastal corridor between San Francisco and Los Angeles, for 10 days.

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At the final dinner of an international conference, an American delegate turned to the Chinese delegate sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, ‘Likee soupee?’
The Chinese gentlemen nodded eagerly.

A little later, it was ‘Likee fishee?’ and ‘Likee meatee?’ and ‘Likee fruitee?’ and always the response was an affable nod.

At the end of the dinner the chairman of the conference introduced the guest speaker of the evening: none other than the Chinese gentleman who delivered a penetrating, witty discourse in impeccable English, much to the astonishment of his American neighbour.

When the speech was over, the speaker turned to his neighbour and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and asked, ‘Likee speechee?’

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Deciding to take a day off from his important job, a young hot-shot broker went back to visit some of his professors at his old school. Entering the school, he saw a dog attacking a small child. He quickly jumped on the dog and strangled it.

The next day, the local paper reported the story with the headline “Valiant Student Saves Boy From Fearsome Dog.”

The broker called the editor of the paper and strongly suggested that a correction be issued, pointing out that he was no longer a student, but a successful Wall Street broker.

The following day, the paper issued a correction, with a headline that read, “Pompous Stock Broker Kills School Mascot.”

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ONE-LINERS: What Those Computer Acronyms Really Mean

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

DEC = Do Expect Cuts

CA = Constant Acquisitions

CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.

SCSI = System Can’t See It

DOS = Defunct Operating System

BASIC = Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control

WWW = World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The OS Hangs

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pic of the day: Winter Creek Scene

picture of creek with snowy banks

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

~When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

~The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

~A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

~You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

~Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

~He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

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Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but the following call to Microsoft’s help center shows there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I see you have an Aptiva” desktop unit.

Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she’d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: “Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe.”

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In the middle of an argument a man said to his wife, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!”

The wife responded calmly, “Allow me to explain…the good Lord made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and he made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA:  Are you a lover of soup and soup recipes?

~Can you believe that Americans sip over 10 BILLION bowls of soup every single year! That’s a lot of soup!

~ 99% of all American homes buy soup – turning it into a $5 billion business. That’s every year.

~Women seem to be more than twice as likely to eat soup as men.

~When was the earliest evidence of our ancestors eating soup? About 6000 BC! Hippopotamus soup!

~In the French Court of Louis XI, the ladies’ meals were mostly soup. Guess what the reasoning was? They were afraid that chewing would make them break out in facial wrinkles!

~The first liquid nourishment most babies get is the milk from the mother’s breast, often times called “Milk Soup.”

~Frank Sinatra always asked for chicken and rice soup to be available to him in his dressing rooms before he went on stage.

~Soup has always been known as the curative for any ailment of the heart, mind, soul and body.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. – Baily

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do. – Edward Everett Hale