Jokes and Trivia for October 4, 2012

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

TODAY – OCTOBER 4th – THURSDAY

278th day of 2012 with 88 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Frappe Day

*National Taco Day

*National Vodka Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1822 Rutherford B Hayes, Delaware, Ohio, (R) 19th president (1877-81)
  • 1861 Frederic Remington, Canton, New York, painter (specialized in depictions of the Old American West, specifically the last quarter of the 19th century American West and images of cowboys, American Indians, and the U.S. Cavalry)
  • 1890 Dr. Alan L. Hart, Halls Summit, Kansas, first known American female to male transsexual (SRS in 1917), radiologist, tuberculosis researcher, writer and novelist
  • 1895 Buster Keaton, Piqua, Kansas, comedian (“The Great Stone Face”)
  • 1903 John Vincent Atanasoff, Hamilton, New York, computer pioneer (invented the first digital computer in the world during the 1930s)
  • 1916 Vitaly Ginzburg, Moscow, Russian Empire, physicist (Plasmas, superfluidity)
  • 1916 Jan Murray, The Bronx, New York City, actor & comedian (A Man Called Dagger, Thunder Alley, Tarzan and the Great River, Which Way to the Front?)
  • 1918 Kenichi Fukui, Nara City, Japan, chemist (orbitals in chemical reactions)
  • 1923 Charlton Heston, Evanston, Illinois, actor (Ben Hur, 10 Commandments, Planet of the Apes)
  • 1938 Kurt Wüthrich, Aarberg, Switzerland, chemist (nuclear magnetic resonance spectroscopy for determining the three-dimensional structure of biological macromolecules in solution)
  • 1941 Anne Rice, New Orleans, Louisiana, writer (Vampire Chronicles; Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt)
  • 1942 Karl W. Richter, Vietnam, American aviator (youngest pilot in that conflict to shoot down a MiG in air-to-air combat)
  • 1946 Susan Sarandon, New York City, New York, actress (Dead Man Walking, Thelma & Louise, Children of Dune)
  • 1949 Armand Assante, New York City, New York, actor (The Odyssey, Jack the Ripper, Judge Dredd)
  • 1980 Sarah Fisher, Columbus, Ohio, race car driver (IndyCar series)
  • 1989 Kimberly Claire “Kimmie” Meissner, figure skater (2006 World Champion, 2007 U.S champion, and 2007 Four Continents Champion)

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Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. – Robert Rodriguez, Spy Kids 3-D Game Over

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1537 The first complete English-language Bible (the Matthew Bible) is printed, with translations by William Tyndale and Miles Coverdale.
  • 1876 Texas A&M University opens as the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas, becoming the first public institution of higher education in Texas.
  • 1883 First run of the Orient Express.
  • 1883 First meeting of the Boys’ Brigade in Glasgow, Scotland.
  • 1895 The first U.S. Open Men’s Golf Championship administered by the United States Golf Association is played at the Newport Country Club in Newport, Rhode Island.
  • 1931 The comic strip Dick Tracy by Chester Gould debuts.
  • 1950 Snoopy’s first appearance in Peanuts comic strip.
  • 1957 The CBS television show Leave it to Beaver debuts, starring Jerry Mathers as Beaver.
  • 1957 USSR launches Sputnik I, the 1st artificial Earth satellite.
  • 1965 Becoming the first Pope to ever visit the United States of America and the Western hemisphere, Pope Paul VI arrives in New York.
  • 1976 Official launch of the Intercity 125 High Speed Train (HST).
  • 1983 Richard Noble sets a new land speed record of 633.468 mph (1,019 km/h), driving Thrust 2 at the Black Rock Desert of Nevada.
  • 1985 Free Software Foundation is founded in Massachusetts, United States.
  • 1991 The Protocol on Environmental Protection to the Antarctic Treaty is opened for signature.
  • 1997 The second largest cash robbery in U.S. history occurs at the Charlotte, North Carolina office of Loomis, Fargo and Company. An FBI investigation eventually results in 24 convictions and the recovery of approximately 95% of the $17.3 million in cash which had been taken.
  • 2004 SpaceShipOne wins Ansari X Prize for private spaceflight by being first private craft to fly in space.

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Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .” Suddenly the brunette yells, “earthquake!!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .” The redhead then screams, “tornado!!” Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”

The blonde shouts, “fire!!”

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My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.

Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.”

“Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied.

A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterwards.

“We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested.

I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.

My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”

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ONE-LINERS: EVERY COUPLE SHOULD KNOW… By Doug Fields

…to not yell at one another unless the house is on fire
…it is easier to complain after a fault than forgive one
…the importance of having a “Do Not Disturb” sign
…the correct answer to “Do you love me?” is not, “I married you, didn’t I?”
…to have a regular date night
…the silent treatment was invented by a kindergartner
…to slow dance in your underwear…in private
…to kiss when stuck in traffic
…they need a weekend retreat at least twice a year
…to buy your spouse crazy underwear every year
…a man’s sex drive is similar to a drum solo
…a woman’s sex drive is similar to a finely tuned orchestra
…how to make your spouse laugh
…the game of Scrabble has been known to ignite major arguments
…major house projects may need to be followed by minor marital counseling
…when to break the diet restrictions and pig out
…sex begins in the morning by the way you talk to and treat one another
…to read Song of Solomon together
…to schedule your mid-life crisis
…the joy of making up after a lover’s quarrel
…it is fun to be spontaneous: tickle, dance, or join your spouse in the shower
…voice tone says it all
…to find humor in negative situations
…to eat cookie dough in bed at least once a year
…genuine love is valuing a spouse as God does

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pic of the day: Ragweed

image of ragweed

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

The mechanic was working on the car’s brakes when some of the brake fluid squirted out right into his mouth. To his surprise, it tasted kinda good. He dabbled some on his fingers and tasted it again. “Hey, this stuff really IS good!” So he went to the shelf and poured some brake fluid over a glass of ice. “Not bad, not bad at all. I’ll have another..” He had another, and another, and another, until he got very drunk on brake fluid.

This started the poor mechanic on a long downward slide. He was drinking more and more brake fluid, and was drunk on it all the time. Finally his coworkers confronted him. “You have a problem and you need help.”

The mechanic said, “Naaah, I don’t need no … (burp) help. This shtuff, it’s just brake fluid. I can (hic )… I can stop any time!

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A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”

The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

“How?” asks the man, puzzled.

“Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”

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The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: TACO Trivia

~In 2000, Taco Bell ran a full-page ad in the New York Times announcing that it bought the Liberty Bell to “reduce the country’s debt” and renamed it “the Taco Bell Liberty Bell.” April Fool’s!

~In September 2004, Taco Bell invited customers to “Share Your Sauce Wisdom,” printing witty phrases on hot sauce packets.

~On July 21, 2009, Gidget, the Chihuahua featured in Taco Bell ads, was euthanized after suffering a stroke. She was 15 years old.

~On January 17, 2010, founder Glen Bell passed away. He was 86 years old.

~Taco Bell is open in the US, Guam, Canada, Cyprus, Greece, Iceland, India, Philippines, Spain, the United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic.

~But did you know that Taco Bell got its start as a hot dog stand?

~The “Bell” in Taco Bell comes from founder Glen Bell. The 23-year-old former Marine, arrived in San Bernadino, California, just after World War II with dreams of opening a miniature golf course. But after considering the costs of starting up such a venture, Bell opened something a little more affordable – a hot dog stand. Bell’s drive-in was a one-man operation.

~By 1975, Bell made a deal with PepsiCo, selling them his controlling shares of Taco Bell and in turn becoming millions richer as a major PepsiCo shareholder.

~PepsiCo opened its first international Taco Bell in Guam in 1977. And from there a taco phenomenon was launched.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Surely there comes a time when counting the cost and paying the price aren’t things to think about any more. All that matters is value – the ultimate value of what one does. – James Hilton