Jokes and Trivia for August 24, 2012

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive – Howard Thurman.

TODAY – AUGUST 24th – FRIDAY

237th day of 2012 with 129 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Peach Pie Day

*Vesuvius Day

*International Day Against Intolerance, Discrimination and Violence Based on Musical Preferences, Lifestyle and Dress Code

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1835 Lyman Reed Blake, South Abington, Massachusetts, inventor (devised a sewing machine for sewing the soles of shoes to the uppers)
  • 1884 Earl Derr Biggers, Warren, Ohio, author (Charlie Chan)
  • 1886 William Francis Gibbs, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, naval architect, one of the most renowned in his time (designed over 6,000 ships from a fireboat, to freighters, ocean liners and warships).
  • 1899 Gaylord DuBois, Winthrop , Massachusetts, comic book writer (Tarzan for Dell Comics)
  • 1901 Preston Foster, Pitman, New Jersey, actor (Doctor X , I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang)
  • 1915 Alice Bradley Sheldon aka James Tiptree, Jr. , Chicago, Illinois, sci-fi writer (Her Smoke Rose up Forever, A Momentary Taste of Being)
  • 1916 Harold John “Hal” Smith, Petosky, Michigan, actor and voice actor (Otis on Andy Griffith, voice of Goofy, Owl in Pooh movies)
  • 1917 Dennis James, Jersey City, New Jersey, game show host (DuMont Network’s Cash and Carry)
  • 1923 Arthur Jensen, San Diego, California, psychologist (Heritability of IQ, Race and intelligence)
  • 1927 Harry Markowitz, Chicago, Illinois, economist (Modern Portfolio Theory)
  • 1934 Kenny Baker, English actor (R2D2 in Star Wars)
  • 1938 David Freiberg, Cincinnati, Ohio, bassist (Quicksilver Messenger Service and Jefferson Starship)
  • 1944 Gregory Jarvis, Detroit, Michigan, astronaut (payload specialist 2 on STS-51-L; died 1986 in Challenger explosion)
  • 1950 Tim White, Los Angeles, California, anthropologist, most famous for his work on Lucy as Australopithecus afarensis with discoverer Donald Johanson
  • 1951 Orson Scott Card, Richland, Washington, writer (Ender’s Game, Speaker for the Dead, Lost Boys)
  • 1965 Marlee Matlin, Morton Grove, Illinois, deaf actress (6th season Dancing w/the Stars, Children of Lesser God, lawyer in My Name is Earl)
  • 1974 Jennifer Lien, Chicago, Illlinois, actress (Vitani/Lion King II, Kes/ST Voyager series, voice Agent L/Men in Black)
  • 1981 Chad Michael Murray, Buffalo, New York, actor (Freaky Friday, A Cinderella Story)
  • 1988 Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone, Hertfordshire, England, actor (Ron Weasley/ Harry Potter films)

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All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 79 MT. Vesuvius erupts, buries Pompeii, Herculaneum & Stabiae in volcanic ash.
  • 1215 Pope Innocent III declares Magna Carta invalid.
  • 1349 Six thousand Jews are killed in Mainz after being blamed for the bubonic plague.
  • 1572 St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre: On the orders of king Charles IX of France, a massacre of Huguenots (French Protestants) begins.
  • 1690 Calcutta, India is founded.
  • 1814 British troops invade Washington, D.C. and burn down the White House and several other buildings.
  • 1891 Thomas Edison patents motion picture camera.
  • 1912 Alaska becomes a United States territory.
  • 1932 Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly across the United States non-stop (from Los Angeles to Newark, New Jersey).
  • 1949 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) goes into effect.
  • 1950 Edith Sampson becomes the first black U.S. delegate to the UN.
  • 1960 A temperature of −88°C (−127°F) is measured in Vostok, Antarctica — a world-record low.
  • 1963 The 200-metre freestyle is swum in less than 2 minutes for the first time by Don Schollander (1:58).
  • 1995 Windows 95, a computer operating system by Microsoft, is released with much fanfare.
  • 1998 First RFID human implantation tested in the United Kingdom.
  • 2006 The International Astronomical Union (IAU) redefines the term “planet” such that Pluto is considered a Dwarf Planet.

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A grocery cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, “How much is half-and-half?”

Without a moment’s hesitation the other cashier replied, “One.”

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“You look tired.

“I am. I just finished 50 push-ups.”

“Oh really? When did you start doing push-ups?”

“Well, I did the first one in 1988.”
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ONE-LINERS: ** Funny Sports Quotes One-Liners **

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season, “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh, “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”

“Shaquille O’Neal [basketball] on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece, “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach, “You guys line up alphabetically by height.” And “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota, “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

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pic of the day: Wild Geese

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Three forest animals were arguing about which of them was the most feared.

The hawk said, “I am the most feared animal in the forest, because I can fly and attack my prey from above without warning.”

The lion said, “No, I am the most feared animal in the forest,because of my strength, my speed and my teeth. No other animal dares challenge me.”

The skunk said, “You both may be more efficient predators but I am the most feared because I don’t need flight nor strength to frighten any creature.”

As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all — hawk, lion, and stinker.

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He had finally made it to the last round on “The $64,000 Question”. The night before, he had given the Emcee his choice of category: American History.

The big night arrived. He made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audiences. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The Emcee stepped up to the mike.

“Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?”

He nodded with a cocky confidence – the crowd went nuts. He hadn’t missed a question all week.

“Your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?”

He was becoming noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his best subject, but he played it safe.

“I’ll try the second part first.”

The Emcee nodded approvingly. “Here we go, Bob. I will ask you the second half first. You must get this right in order to go on to the first half.”

The audience silenced with gross anticipation …

“Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?”

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A Naval officer, serving on an aircraft carrier, was cutting through the crew’s quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him.

“Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?” the officer demanded.

“No, sir, but we don’t land airplanes on the roof either.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Tarzan Disney Movie Fun Facts

~Phil Collins wrote 5 songs for Tarzan and sings four of them. He also recorder them in French, German, Italian and Spanish (both Latin American and Castillian). This is the first time Mr. Collins has recorded song in those languages and is the first time that a Disney animated feature has been released with international versions of songs by the same recording artist.

~In the movie Tarzan, when the grown up Terk, Tarzan, and Tantor are playing, there is something hiding in the bushes. You can see Sabor in the bushes when Tarzan looks at them right before the cat jumps at him. It’s easier to see the first time if you pause it but after that you see it everytime.

~In “Tarzan,” there is a tea pot that looks remarkably like Mrs. Potts (from “Beauty and the Beast”) at Jane’s campsite, seen just before the “Trashin’ the Camp” scene.

~Tarzan’s parents resemble Aerial and Eric from the Little Mermaid!

~When Jane’s father is being shaken upside down by the gorillas, a stuffed version of Mulan’s dog, Little Brother, falls out of his pockets.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. – George Bernard Shaw

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like – Will Rogers.