Jokes and Trivia for February 13, 2013

Try to be happy in this present moment, and put not off being so to a time to come, as though that time should be of another make from this which has already come and is ours. – Thomas Fuller

TODAY – FEBRUARY 13th – WEDNESDAY

44th  day of 2013 with 321 to  follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Get a Different Name Day

*National Tortellini Day

*World Radio Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1672 Étienne François Geoffroy, Paris, France, chemist (best known for his 1718 affinity tables)
  • 1805 Peter Gustav Dirichlet, German mathematician (contributions to number theory, including creating the field of analytic number theory, as well as to the theory of Fourier series and other topics in mathematical analysis)
  • 1834 Heinrich Caro, Posen, Prussia, Germany now Poznań, Poland, German Chemist (known for Erlenmeyer azlactone synthesis)
  • 1870 Leopold Godowsky, Polish-American pianist, composer (known for his theories concerning the application of relaxed weight and economy of motion in piano playing)
  • 1881 Eleanor Farjeon, English poet and author (Children’s Bells, Marry Pippin in the Apple Orchard)
  • 1884 Alfred Carlton Gilbert, Salem, Oregon, athlete, inventor, and businessman (best known for the Erector Set)
  • 1885 Bess Truman, Independence, Missouri, First Lady of the United States, wife of President Harry S. Truman
  • 1892 Robert H. Jackson, Warren Co., Pennsylvania, jurist, 57th United States Attorney General and Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court (U.S. chief of counsel for the prosecution of Nazi war criminals)
  • 1910 William Shockley, London, England, British-American physicist and eugenicist (Nobel Laureate / co-invented the transistor)
  • 1919 Tennessee Ernie Ford, Bristol, Tennessee, musician / television host (Sixteen Tons)
  • 1923 Chuck Yeager, Myra, West Virginia,U.S.A.F. fighter and test pilot (first pilot to travel faster than sound)
  • 1928 Dorothy McGuire, Middletown, Ohio, singer (The McGuire Sisters)
  • 1933 Kim Novak, Chicago, Illinois, actress (Vertigo, Picnic, The Eddy Duchin Story)
  • 1934 George Segal, Great Neck, New York, actor (The Longest Day, The Young Doctors, The Naked City, Just Shoot Me!)
  • 1942 Peter Tork, Washington, D.C., musician and actor (The Monkees)
  • 1944 Jerry Springer, British-born American television host, 56th Mayor of Cincinnati, Ohio
  • 1944 Stockard Channing, New York, New York, actress (The West Wing, Grease, Six Degrees of Separation)
  • 1945 William Sleator, Havre de Grace, Maryland, science fiction author for young adults (The Angry Moon, Interstellar Pig, The Last Universe)
  • 1951 David Naughton, Hartford, Connecticut, actor and singer (An American Werewolf in London, Midnight Madness, My Sister Sam)
  • 1956 Richard Tyson, Mobile, Alabama, actor (Kindergarten Cop, There’s Something About Mary, Hardball, Jake’s Corner)
  • 1961 Henry Rollins, Washington, D.C., musician, comedian, and actor (Black Flag)
  • 1968 Kelly Hu, Honolulu, Hawaii, actress (Growing Pains, No Way Back, Nash Bridges, The Scorpion King, X2)
  • 1974 Robbie Williams, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England, singer

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There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something. – Henry Ford

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1880 Thomas Edison observes the Edison effect (thermionic emission).
  • 1881 The feminist newspaper La Citoyenne is first published in Paris by the activist Hubertine Auclert.
  • 1894 Auguste and Louis Lumière patent the Cinematographe, a combination movie camera and projector.
  • 1914 Copyright: In New York City the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers is established to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of its members.
  • 1920 The Negro National League is formed.
  • 1935 A jury in Flemington, New Jersey finds Bruno Hauptmann guilty of the 1932 kidnapping and murder of the Lindbergh baby, the son of Charles Lindbergh.
  • 1955 Israel obtains 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls.
  • 1960 With the success of a nuclear test codenamed “Gerboise Bleue”, France becomes the fourth country to possess nuclear weapons.
  • 1960 Black college students stage the first of the Nashville sit-ins at three lunch counters in Nashville, Tennessee.
  • 1961 A 500,000-year-old rock is discovered near Olancha, California, US, that appears to anachronistically encase a spark plug.
  • 1967 American researchers discover the Madrid Codices by Leonardo da Vinci in the National Library of Spain.
  • 1970 Black Sabbath, arguably the very first heavy metal album, is released.
  • 1990 German reunification: An agreement is reached on a two-stage plan to reunite Germany.
  • 2004 The Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics announces the discovery of the universe’s largest known diamond, white dwarf star BPM 37093. Astronomers named this star “Lucy” after The Beatles’ song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”.
  • 2007 Taiwan opposition leader Ma Ying-jeou resigns as the chairman of the Kuomintang party after being indicted by the Taiwan High Prosecutors Office on charges of embezzlement during his tenure as the mayor of Taipei; Ma also announces his candidacy for the 2008 presidential election.
  • 2008 Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd makes a historic apology to the Indigenous Australians and the Stolen Generations.
  • 2009 At 23:31:30 UTC the Unix system time (time_t) number reaches 1234567890 seconds.
  • 2010 A bomb explodes in the city of Pune, Maharashtra, India, killing 17 and injuring 60 more.
  • 2011 For the first time in more than 100 years the Umatilla, an American Indian tribe, were able to hunt and harvest a bison just outside Yellowstone National Park, restoring a centuries-old tradition guaranteed by a treaty signed in 1855.

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The two partners in a law firm were talking. One said, “She’s so young and pretty she may be taken advantage of by some of those fast-talking city guys. Why don’t we teach her what’s right and what’s wrong?”

“Great idea! You teach her what’s right.”

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Doctor to patient: “Your blood pressure is extremely high.”

“I know it, Doc. It comes from my family.”

“Your mother’s side or your father’s?”

“Neither. It’s from my wife’s family.”

“Oh, come on! How could your wife’s family possibly pass on high blood pressure to you?!?”

“You oughta meet ’em some time.”

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ONE-LINERS: Signs Found In Kitchens

1. Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!

2. Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!

3. I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!

4. So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!

5. Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!

6. I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!

7. If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!

8. I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!

9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

11. COOK CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

12. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

13. If you don’t like my standards of cooking…lower your standards.

14. You may touch the dust in this house…but please don’t write in it!

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pic of the day: Creek on a Snowy Day

picture of creek and snow

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A golf club walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “A beer, please.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asks the golf club.

“You’re a driver.”

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Doctor examining young boy: “Have you ever had trouble with your ears or your nose?”

“Sure. They always get in my way when I’m taking off my undershirt.”

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We had invited some friends over, including one couple’s active two-year-old son. The boy began playing with a dish that was filled with antique buttons. After a few near disasters, my husband quietly removed the temptation.

The next morning, I realized the buttons were gone and asked my husband, “Don, where is the button bowl?”

“Gee, I don’t know for sure,” replied my spouse, who is a sports trivia expert. “I think it’s in Florida.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Tortellini

~Tortellini are ring-shaped pasta, sometimes also described as “navel shaped” or also known as “belly button” (umbellico).

~Similar foods in other cultures include —- uszka in Poland, the German Maultasche, Chinese wonton and jiaozi, and Turkish mantı

~There was a strong local tradition has it that this dish was born in Castelfranco Emilia (province of Modena)

~Tortellini are small ring shaped pasta stuffed with meat or cheese.

~Tortellini is a specialty of the Bolognese Christmas dinner (filled with turkey, ham, and sausage forcemeat).

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. – Ovid

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us. – Samuel Smiles