Jokes and Trivia for June 17, 2013

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

TODAY – JUNE 17th – MONDAY

168th day of 2013 with 197 follow.

Holidays for Today:

*International Violin Day (celebrated on the birthday of Igor Stravinsky)

*Eat Your Vegetables Day

*National Apple Strudel Day

*World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1703 John B Wesley, England, religion co-founder (Methodists)
  • 1867 John Robert Gregg, Ireland/American, inventor (shorthand)
  • 1870 George Cormack, Scotland / American, cereal inventor (Wheaties)
  • 1882 Igor Stravinsky, Russian composer
  • 1910 Red Foley, Blue Lick, Kentucky, country singer (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
  • 1932 Peter Lupus, Indianapolis, Indiana, actor / bodybuilder (Mission Impossible tv series)
  • 1943 Barry Manilow, Brooklyn, New York, musician (Mandy, Can’t Smile Without You, I Write The Songs)
  • 1943 Burt Rutan, Estacada, Oregon, aerospace engineer (Voyager, Spaceship One)
  • 1947 Linda Chavez, Albuquerque, New Mexico,  author/ Fox News Analyst/ columnist
  • 1954 Mark Linn-Baker, St Louis, Missouri, actor (Larry Appleton-Perfect Strangers)
  • 1957 Jon Gries, Glendale, California, actor (Roger Linus/Lost)
  • 1964 Diane and Erin Murphy, Encino, California, actresses (Tabitha Stevens-Bewitched)
  • 1965 Dan Jansen, West Allis, Wisconsin, speed skater (Olympic gold 1994)
  • 1966 Jason Patric, Queens, New York, actor (Speed 2, The Lost Boys, The Alamo)
  • 1980 Venus Williams, Lynwood, California, tennis star

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Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt. – William Van Horne

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1856 Republican Party opens its 1st national convention in Philadelphia.
  • 1863 Travelers Insurance Co of Hartford chartered (1st accident insurer).
  • 1885 Statue of Liberty arrived in NYC aboard French ship `Isere’.
  • 1894 1st US poliomyelitis epidemic breaks out, Rutland, Vermont.
  • 1919 “Barney Google” cartoon strip, by Billy De Beck, premiers.
  • 1928 Amelia Earhart leaves Newfoundland to become 1st woman to fly the Atlantic (as a passenger in a plane piloted by Wilmer Stultz).
  • 1940 France asks Germany for terms of surrender in WW II.
  • 1950 1st kidney transplant (Chicago).
  • 1960 Ted Williams hit his 500th home run.
  • 1972 5 arrested for burglarizing Democratic Party HQ at Watergate.
  • 1982 President Reagan 1st UN Gen Assembly address (“evil empire” speech).
  • 1994 Following a televised low-speed highway chase , O.J. Simpson is arrested for the murders of his wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman.

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“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her room-mate.

“Terrible!” the room-mate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”

“Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?”

“He was the original owner!”

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Here’s a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it’s loud and you can’t turn it down.

I leave the number of the room next to me.

It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell,

“Why are you calling me?”

Then you get up and take a shower. It’s great.

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ONE-LINERS: North vs. South

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.

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Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it’s biting my fingernails. One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails.

“Great Idea, Honey,” he smiled. “You can eat them straight out of the box.”

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pic of the day: Barn at Sunset

barn at sunset

PHOTOGRAPHER: B. BOGGS
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”

The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some plasma.”

The waitress looks up and says, “Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?”

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TRUE LOVE. . .
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
 
If it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff,
eats your food,
uses your telephone,
takes your money,
and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place,
you either married it or birthed it.

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In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time.

“For example,” he said, “take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”

The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.”

“Why is that?” Asked the professor.

“For one thing,” the student pointed out, “She’d be way too old!”

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A Scot returned home to Glasgow after a trip down south to London. He complained to his friend the Londoners were so rude. “They kept banging on the door, knocking on the ceiling, hammering on the floor, at three o’clock in the morning.”

“Aye, and what did you do?” asked his friend.

“Och, I kept right on playing me bagpipes.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: The Violin!

~ The violin, sometimes called a fiddle, is a string instrument.

~ The violin usually has 4 strings that are tuned in perfect fifths.

~ Violin comes from the Medieval Latin word vitula, which means stringed instrument.

~ The oldest documented modern-type violin with four strings is said to have been constructed in 1555 by Andrea Amati, but the date is not exactly known.

~ Violin makers are called luthiers.  Some of the most famous between the 16th and 18th century are the Micheli, Amati, Guameri and Stradivari families.

~ The tuning G-D-A-E is used for most violin music.

~ The bow used to play a violin is made of a stick with a ribbon of horsehair strung from each end.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If at first you do succeed, try not to look too surprised.

 THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened. – Stanley Walker

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