Jokes and Trivia for November 21, 2012

There are more experiences in life than you’d think for which there are no words. – Anita Shreve

TODAY – NOVEMBER 21st – WEDNESDAY

326th day of 2012 with 40 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Gingerbread Day

*False Confession Day

*World Hello Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1694 Voltaire, French philosopher (advocated freedom of religion, free trade and separation of church and state)
  • 1785 William Beaumont, Lebanon, Connecticut, surgeon in U.S. Army known as “Father of Gastric Physiology”
  • 1787 Sir Samuel Cunard, Halifax, Nova Scotia, shipping magnate (founded Cunard Line)
  • 1834 Hetty Green, New Bedford, Massachusetts, business woman, 1st woman to make an impact on Wall Street (The Witch of Wall Street)
  • 1840 Princess Victoria, Buckingham Palace, London,UK (eldest child of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert) German Empress & Queen of Prussia (married German Emperor Frederick III)
  • 1920 Stan Musial, Donora, Pennsylvania, retired pro baseball player (Stan the Man), 27-time All-Star selection, considered one of the greatest hitters in baseball history
  • 1924 Christopher Reuel Tolkien, Leeds, England, editor / author (edited much of JRR Tolkien’s posthumously published work such as The Silmarillion, drew maps for The Lord of The Rings)
  • 1933 Henry Warren Hartsfield, Jr., Birmingham, Alabama, retired U.S. Air Force officer / test pilot / NASA astronaut (over 480 hours in space: STS-4, STS-41-D, STS-61-A)
  • 1934 Laurence Luckinbill, Fort Smith, Arkansas, actor (Poor Murderer, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier )
  • 1937 Marlo Thomas, Detroit, Michigan, actress / producer/ National Outreach Diretor fo St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital (That Girl!, Jenny)
  • 1945 Goldie Hawn, Washington, D.C., actress (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, Private Benjamin, Foul Play, Overboard, Bird on a Wire, Death Becomes Her, The First Wives Club)
  • 1943 Larry Mahan, Salem, Oregon, rodeo cowboy (World All Around Rodeo Champion 6 times, subject of documentary The Great American Cowboy)
  • 1960 Brian McNamara, Long Island, New York, U.S., American actor (Seinfeld, NYPD Blue, St. Elsewhere, JAG, The O.C., Star Trek: Voyager, Mad About You, Matlock, Ellen, Murder, She Wrote, Murphy Brown )
  • 1962 Steven Curtis Chapman, Paducah, Kentucky, contemporary Christian musician
  • 1966 Troy Aikman, West Covina, California, football quarterback/ sportscaster FOX / part-owner of San Diego Padres
  • 1969 Ken Griffey, Jr., Donora, Pennsylvania, baseball player (outfielder, designated hitter, considered one of the best baseball players)
  • 1972 Rain Phoenix, Crockett, Texas, singer/actress (Kids in America )
  • 1973 Brook Kerr, Indianapolis, Indiana, actress (Passions)
  • 1982 Ryan Starr, Sunland, California, singer, ranked seventh on the season 1 of the talent search television series American Idol
  • 1984 Jena Malone, Sparks, Nevada, actress (Contact, Ellen Foster, Stepmom, Sucker Punch)
  • 2001 Samantha Bailey, Mission Hills, California, actress (The Young and the Restless, Pushing Daisies )

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We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future. – Robin Sharma

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1789 North Carolina ratifies the United States Constitution and is admitted as the 12th U.S. state.
  • 1877 Thomas Edison announces his invention of the phonograph, a machine that can record and play sound.
  • 1905 Albert Einstein’s paper, Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?, is published in the journal “Annalen der Physik”. This paper reveals the relationship between energy and mass. This leads to the mass–energy equivalence formula Emc².
  • 1922 Rebecca Latimer Felton of Georgia takes the oath of office, becoming the first female United States Senator.
  • 1953 “Pitdown Man,” discovered in 1912 proved to be a hoax
  • 1964 The Verrazano-Narrows Bridge opens to traffic (at the time it is the world’s longest suspension bridge).
  • 1968 Supremes & Temptations release “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me”
  • 1969 U.S. President Richard Nixon and Japanese Premier Eisaku Sato agree in Washington, D.C. on the return of Okinawa to Japanese control in 1972. Under the terms of the agreement, the U.S. is to retain its rights to bases on the island, but these are to be nuclear-free.
  • 1969 The first permanent ARPANET link is established between UCLA and SRI.
  • 1977 Minister of Internal Affairs Allan Highet announces that ‘the national anthems of New Zealand shall be the traditional anthem “God Save the Queen” and the poem “God Defend New Zealand”, written by Thomas Bracken, as set to music by John Joseph Woods, both being of equal status as national anthems appropriate to the occasion.
  • 1979 The United States Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan is attacked by a mob and set on fire, killing four. (see: Foreign relations of Pakistan)
  • 1985 United States Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Pollard is arrested for spying after being caught giving Israel classified information on Arab nations. He is subsequently sentenced to life in prison.
  • 1995 The Dayton Peace Agreement is initialed at the Wright Patterson Air Force Base, near Dayton, Ohio, ending three and a half years of war in Bosnia and Herzegovina. The agreement is formally ratified in Paris, on December 14 that same year.
  • 2006 Anti-Syrian Lebanese Minister and MP Pierre Gemayel is assassinated in suburban Beirut.

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Two statisticians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left.

However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York.

Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine.

However, it would now take 18 hours to get to new York. At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, “Gee, I hope we don’t lose that last engine, or we’ll be up here forever!”

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ONE-LINERS: Sporting Gaffes

1) I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. Stuart Pearce [former England soccer player]

2) Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot: Ray Wilkins [former England soccer player] speaking on BBC1 TV.

3) For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip: John Motson – BBC TV football commentator.

4) Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer: David Acfield [former cricketer and TV commentator].

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or tweet

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos

Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?
‘Cos everyone was a goblin

Why do mummies make good employees?
They get all wrapped up in their work

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count duckula

What’s a monster’s favourite play?
Romeo and ghouliet

Why do witches fly on brooms?
Vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Where Did the Greeting “Hello” Come From

~The word hello has also been credited to Thomas Edison, specifically as a way to greet someone when answering the telephone

~It was Thomas Edison’s greeting of “hello,” an exclamation of surprise dating back to the Middle Ages, that caught on, and so we answer the telephone today with, “Hello?”

~However, in 1877, Edison wrote to T.B.A. David, the president of the Central District and Printing Telegraph Company of Pittsburg: “Friend David, I do not think we shall need a call bell as Hello! can be heard 10 to 20 feet away. What you think? Edison – P.S. first cost of sender & receiver to manufacture is only $7.00.”

~By 1889, central telephone exchange operators were known as ‘hello-girls’ due to the association between the greeting and the telephone.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If you choose not to decide – you still have made a choice! – Neil Peart

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Gandhi