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April 13th

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. – Stephen Covey


TODAY – APRIL 13th

103rd day of the year (104th in leap years) with 262 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Peach Cobbler Day
~ National Make Lunch Count Day
~ National Scrabble Day
~ National Thomas Jefferson Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1743 Thomas Jefferson, Shadwell, Virginia, (D-R) 3rd US President (1801-09)
  •  1771 Richard Trevithick, England, inventor (steam locomotive)
  •  1852 Frank W. Woolworth, Rodman, New York, founder 5 & 10 cent stores (Woolworths)
  •  1866 Butch Cassidy, Beaver, Utah, outlaw (robbed banks & trains; Hole in the Wall Gang)
  •  1892 Robert A Watson-Watt, England, physicist/ inventor (radar)
  •  1899 Alfred Mosher Butts, Poughkeepsie, New York, architect/ game inventor (Scrabble game)
  • 1902 Marguerite Henry, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, author (Misty of Chincoteague, Brighty of the Grand Canyon)
  •  1923 Don [James Yarmy] Adams, NYC, actor/comedian (Maxwell Smart on Get Smart, Check it Out, Inspector Gadget)
  •  1931 Jon Stone, New Haven, Connecticut, co-creator of Sesame Street (Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch)
  •  1935 Lyle Waggoner, Kansas City, Kansas, actor (Carol Burnett Show, Wonder Woman, Living Straight)
  •  1939 Paul Sorvino, Brooklyn, New York, stage/screen actor, (Law and Order, Reds, Goodfellas, A Touch of Class, A Place for Heroes)
  •  1945 Tony Dow, Hollywood, California, actor/ director (Wally/Leave it to Beaver/ direct Deep Space 9, Babylon 5, Get a Life)
  •  1950 Ron Perlman, Bronx, New York, actor (Quest for Fire, Beauty & the Beast, Hellboy, Pacific Rim, Sons of Anarchy, Hand of God)
  • 1950 William Sadler, Buffalo, New York, actor (The Pacific, Roswell, The Shawshank Redemption, Die Hard 2, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise)
  •  1951 Peter Davison, English actor (5th Dr Who; Tristan/ All Creatures Great & Small; Sink or Swim; Fiddlers Three, Law & Order: UK)
  • 1955 Steve Camp, Wheaton, Illinois, contemporary Christian music artist (After God’s Own Heart, Taking Heaven By Storm)
  • 1964 Caroline Rhea, Canadian actress (The Biggest Loser, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Phineas and Ferb)
  •  1970 Rick Schroder, Staten Island, New York, actor (Ricky-Silver Spoons, Champ, Earthling, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors)
  •  1976 Jonathan Brandis, Danbury, Connecticut, actor (Lucas Wolenczak-Sea Quest DSV, Never Ending Story II)
  •  1978 Kyle Howard, Loveland, Colorado, actor (House Arrest, Skeletons, Orange County, My Boys, Royal Pains, Your Family or Mine)
  • 1981 Courtney Peldon, NYC, New York, actress (Boston Public, Harry and the Hendersons)
  •  1987 Brandon Hardesty, Baltimore, Maryland, internet entertainer (original comedy videos, and movie scene recreations)

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Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things. – Peter Drucker
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1742 George Frideric Handel’s “Messiah” performed for 1st time (Dublin).
  • 1796 First elephant arrives in US from Bengal India.
  • 1860 First Pony Express reaches Sacramento, California.
  • 1870 The Metropolitan Museum of Art founded.
  • 1902 JC Penney opens his first store in Kemmerer, Wyoming.
  • 1943 The Jefferson Memorial is dedicated in Washington, D.C., on the 200th anniversary of Thomas Jefferson’s birth.
  • 1957 Due to lack of funds, Saturday mail delivery in the US is temporarily halted.
  • 1958 Van Cliburn is the first American to win the Tchaikovsky Competition in Moscow.
  • 1963 Sidney Poitier becomes first black man to win Oscar for Best Actor (Lilies of the Field).
  • 1970 Apollo 13 announces “Houston, we’ve got a problem!” as Beech-built oxygen tank explodes en route to Moon.
  • 1974 Western Union (in cooperation with NASA and Hughes Aircraft) launches the United States’ first commercial geosynchronous communications satellite, Westar 1.
  • 1976 US Treasury Department reintroduced the two-dollar bill on Thomas Jefferson’s 233rd birthday as part of the US Bicentennial celebration.
  • 1979 Longest doubles ping-pong match ends after 101 hours.
  • 1997 Tiger Woods becomes the youngest golfer to win golf’s Masters Tournament.

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The two inventors of the bungee rope went to Spain to test their invention. They built a 50-foot tower and, once completed, one of the guys stood on the edge of the platform and dove into the air with the rope tied to his feet. The other guy, standing up on the platform, waited until his friend returned up so that he could grab him.

The first time his friend sprung up, he tried to grab him but missed and noticed that his head was swollen. The next time, he missed again and again there was a bruise on his head and face. This time, with much concern, he dove forward to get his partner, pulled him in and asked, “What happened? Is the cord too long?”

His partner replied with his face all bloody, “What is piñata?”
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A Koala and a Lizard are up in a tree, smoking a joint and getting stoned. After a while the Lizard says, “Man,
I’m really thirsty. I’m gonna go down and get me a drink of water from the creek.”

The Lizard crawls down the tree, staggers over to the creek and leans down to take a drink. But he’s so stoned
when he leans over to take a drink, he falls into the creek– Splash!

The Lizard is thrashing around as he gets swept down the creek. He attracts the attention of a huge crocodile, who swims over and says, “Lemme help ya there little buddy”, and pushes the Lizard back to the creek bank.

The Lizard says, “Thanks Man! Me and the Koala were smokin’ joints up in the tree, and I got so stoned I fell in the creek!”

“Wha? Koala’s got some weed?? Hey, I want soma that …”

So the Crocodile goes over to the tree and yells up, “Hey, Koala!”
The Koala looks down in shock and says, “Dude! How much water did you drink?!?!”
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ONE-LINERS: TOP TEN PICKUP LINES USED BY ADAM

10. “You know you’re the only one for me!”
9. “Do you come here often?”
8. “Trust me, this was meant to be!”

7. “Look around, baby. All the other guys around here are animals!”
6. “I already feel like you’re a part of me!”
5. “Honey, you were made for me!”

4. “Why don’t you come over to my place and we can name some animals?”
3. “You’re the girl of my dreams!” (Gen. 2:21)
2. “I like a girl who doesn’t mind being ribbed!”

And the number one pick up line from Adam is:
1. “You’re the apple of my eye!”
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The lawyer cabled his client overseas: ‘Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?’

Back came the reply, ‘Take no chances – order all three.’
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God saw that there was much evil on earth and sent an angel to check it out and report.
When the angel returned he said, “Yes, the Earth is in decline. 95% is bad but 5% of the people are good.”

God decided to send an email to the 5% that are good. He wanted to encourage them, boost their morale and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that e-mail said?
Oh, you didn’t get one either, huh?
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pic of the day: Someone clearly has a sense of humor. . .

red barn and snow
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After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.

‘I’ll grant each of you a single wish,’ said the genie.
‘I wish I was home,’ said the first man. Then, poof! he disappeared.

‘I wish I was home, too,’ said the second man. Poof! He disappeared too.
The third man looked around.
‘Gee, I’m kind of lonely,’ he said. ‘I wish my friends were here with me.’
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A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem.

“Doctor, doctor! I’ve got this problem,” the man said. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know what to do!”

“A common canine complex,” said the doctor soothingly. “Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch.”

“Oh no, Doctor,” the man said nervously, “I’m not allowed up on the furniture.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ Where do you find chili beans? At the North Pole.
~ Who don’t penguins fly? They’re not tall enough to be pilots.
~ Why didn’t the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken.

~ How do you define a will? It’s a Dead Giveaway.
~ Your debt will stay with you if you can’t budge it.
~ The man who had fallen into an upholstery factory is now said to be fully recovered.
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“Why don’t you play golf with John any more?”

“Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?”

“No …”

“Neither will John.”

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Normal People vs. Engineers

Normal people believe that if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.

Engineers believe that if it isn’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
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This guy had a problem of oversleeping. He was always late for work, and his boss was getting mad. So he went to the doctor and got some pills that were supposed to help.
That night he slept well and woke up even before the alarm! He had a leisurely breakfast and drove happily to work.

“Boss”, he said. “The pill the doctor gave me actually worked!”

“That’s fine,” said the boss, “but where were you yesterday?”
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Murphy’s Law – The Tech Version

* All great discoveries are made by mistake.

* Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

* Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

* All’s well that ends.

* A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

* A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

* Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

* After all is said and done, a heck of a lot more is said than done.

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Which planet has a longer day than year? Venus is the planet that turns most slowly on its axis. It spins once every 243 Earth days. Since Venus takes 224 Earth days to complete one orbit of the Sun, its days are longer than its years.

~ Is Disney World bigger than New York?
It’s larger than a well-known portion of it — Disney World in Orlando, Florida covers 30,500 acres (46 square miles), making it twice the size of the island of Manhattan, New York.

~ How did Grasshopper Glacier get its name?
Grasshopper Glacier in Montana was named for the grasshoppers that can still be seen frozen in the ice.

~ When was the Lincoln Highway completed?
On September 13, 1913, the famous Lincoln Highway, the first paved transamerican highway, was completed from New York to San Francisco. Prior to it being built, there were almost no good roads to speak of in the United States. The relatively few miles of improved road were only around towns and cities. A road was “improved” if it was graded; travelers were lucky to have gravel or brick. Most roads, though, were dirt. The Lincoln Highway was the first major roadway constructed with the automobile in mind. Later in 1928, thousands of Boy Scouts fanned out along the highway. At an average of about one per mile, they installed small concrete markers with a small bust of Lincoln and the inscription, “This highway dedicated to Abraham Lincoln.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: “He who builds a better mousetrap these days runs into material shortages, patent-infringement suits, work stoppages, collusive bidding, discount discrimination — and taxes.” – H.E. Martz

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Go into the third category because there’s virtually no competition. – Steven J Ross

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