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April 15th

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. – Christopher Columbus


TODAY – APRIL 15th

105th day of the year (106th in leap years) with 260 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Glazed Spiral Ham Day
~ National Rubber Eraser Day
~ National Take a Wild Guess Day
~ National Tax Day (U.S.)
~ National Titanic Remembrance Day
~ Universal Day of Culture
~ World Art Day
*Jackie Robinson Day
*Father Damien Day (Hawaii; recognition for his ministry to people with leprosy)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1452 Leonardo da Vinci, Vinci, Italian Renaissance polymath, painter, sculptor, and architect (described as the archetype of the Renaissance Man, a man of “unquenchable curiosity” and “feverishly inventive imagination”)
  • 1741 Charles Willson Peale, Chester, Maryland, painter and soldier (Portraits of leaders of American Revolution; established one of the 1st museums)
  • 1892 Corrie ten Boom, Dutch-American author and Holocaust survivor (The Hiding Place)
  • 1923 Robert DePugh, Independence, Missouri, activist (founded the Minutemen Organization (anti-Communist))
  • 1933 Elizabeth Montgomery, Los Angeles, California, actress (Bewitched, The Legend of Lizzie Borden)
  • 1933 Roy Clark, Meherrin, Virginia, singer, musician, and television host (Hee Haw)
  • 1947 Lois Chiles, Houston, Texas, actress (Death on the Nile, Moonraker, Creepshow 2 )
  • 1950 Amy Wright, Chicago, Illinois, actress (The Deer Hunter, Breaking Away, The Amityville Horror, Heartland)
  • 1951 Heloise, Waco, Texas, journalist and author (Hints from Heloise)
  • 1951 John L. Phillips, Fort Belvoir, Virginia, retired Navy captain and NASA astronaut (STS-100, Soyuz TMA-6, Expedition 11, STS-119)
  • 1959 Thomas F. Wilson, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actor (Back to the Future, Freaks and Geeks, Dragons)
  • 1966 Mott Green, Washington, D.C., businessman (founded the Grenada Chocolate Company)
  • 1974 Danny Pino, Miami, Florida, actor (Cold Case, Law & Order: SVU, Lucy)
  • 1976 Susan Ward, Monroe, Louisiana, actress (Malibu Shores, Sunset Beach, Just Legal, Make It or Break It)
  • 1993 Madeleine Martin, Manhattan, New York, actress (Californication, Hemlock Grove)

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The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. – Theodore Rubin
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1755 Samuel Johnson’s A Dictionary of the English Language is published in London.
  • 1783 Preliminary articles of peace ending the American Revolutionary War (or American War of Independence) are ratified.
  • 1802 William Wordsworth and his sister, Dorothy see a “long belt” of daffodils, inspiring the former to pen I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud.
  • 1817 Thomas Hopkins Gallaudet and Laurent Clerc founded the American School for the Deaf, the first American school for deaf students, in Hartford, Connecticut.
  • 1861 President Abraham Lincoln calls for 75,000 Volunteers to quell the insurrection that soon became the American Civil War.
  • 1865 Abraham Lincoln dies after being shot the previous evening by actor John Wilkes Booth.
  • 1892 The General Electric Company is formed.
  • 1912 The British passenger liner RMS Titanic sinks in the North Atlantic at 2:20 a.m., two hours and forty minutes after hitting an iceberg. Only 710 of 2,227 passengers and crew on board survived.
  • 1923 Insulin becomes generally available for use by people with diabetes.
  • 1924 Rand McNally publishes its first road atlas.
  • 1927 The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927, the most destructive river flood in U.S. history, begins.
  • 1955 McDonald’s restaurant dates its founding to the opening of a franchised restaurant by Ray Kroc in Des Plaines, Illinois.
  • 1965 The first Ford Mustang rolls off the show room floor, two days before it is set to go on sale nationwide.
  • 2013 Two bombs explode near the finish line at the Boston Marathon in Boston, Massachusetts, killing 3 people and injuring 264 others.
  • 2014 More than 200 female students are declared missing after a mass kidnapping in Borno State, Nigeria.

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The clerk at the local grocery store was stocking the shelf with milk when he saw an airhead staring at a carton of orange juice.

Upon being asked why she was doing so, she replied “The carton says concentrate.”

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There is an airhead lady on the side of the road and two guys stop and say, “Need a lift?”
She replies saying, ” Sure, take me anywhere,” and hops in the back of truck.

Well, the guys are going down the road and a truck is heading straight for them trying to crash them.
They then run off the bridge they were on and fall into the water.

The two boys get out but when they looked back there was only bubbles. “Oh no!” they cried. The airhead lady had not gotten out of the back yet.
All of sudden the airhead shoots out of the water.

The boys start saying thank goodness and all. Then one asks, “Not to be rude, but what took you so long?”
The airhead woman grinned and said, “I couldn’t get the Tail gate open!!!”
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ONE-LINERS: Bumper Stickers

~ WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~ BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
~ So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute.

~ Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
~ All men are idiots….I married their king.
~ IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

~ Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
~ Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
~ Out of my mind…Back in five minutes.
~ I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
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My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.

After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

“Everything’s fine, Folks,” he reassured them. “This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items.”
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pic of the day: Dogwood Bloom

dogwood tree
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette.

~ What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.

~What must you know to be an auctioneer? Lots.

~What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train.

~Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

~Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

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LETTER TO THE BANK
Dear Sirs,
One of my checks was returned marked “insufficient funds.” In view of current developments in the banking industry, does that refer to me or to you?
Sincerely,
Your customer

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Signs Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

– Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead.

– You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

– You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can’t because there isn’t one typewriter in your house, only computers with laser printers.

– You think of the gadgets in your office as “friends,” but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

– You disdain people who use low baud rates.

– When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers, and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers’ questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

– You use the phrase “digital compression” in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

– You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase “digital compression.” Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don’t have to explain it.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define ‘great’ he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for IRS writing tax regulations.
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An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

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A husband loved golf; his wife loved going to auctions. They both talked in their sleep.
One night the husband shouted out, “Fore!”
His wife shouted, “Four-fifty!”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: I always say “No” to temptation — but it doesn’t always listen.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t get any seeds. – Norman Vincent Peale

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