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August 15th

[I]f you have a purpose in which you can believe, there’s no end to the amount of things you can accomplish. – Marian Anderson

TODAY – AUGUST 15th

227th day of the year (228th in leap years) with 138 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Lemon Meringue Pie Day
~ National Relaxation Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1771 Sir Walter Scott, Scottish novelist and poet (Rob Roy, The Lady of the Lake, Bonnie Dundee)
  • 1896 Leon Theremin, Russian inventor (theremin, one of the first electronic musical instruments)
  • 1904 George Klein, Canada, inventor (key contributions to the first electric wheelchairs for quadriplegics, the first microsurgical staple gun, the ZEEP nuclear reactor, Canadarm)
  • 1912 Julia Child, Pasadena, California, chef and tv personality (Mastering the Art of French Cooking
  • 1949 Beverly Burns, Baltimore, Maryland, retired Continental Airlines captain and pilot (1st woman to captain the Boeing 747 jumbo jet)
  • 1967 Peter Hermann, New York City, New York, actor (Edge of Darkness, Just Wright, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Blue Bloods, Younger)
  • 1968 Debra Messing, Brooklyn, New York, actress (Will & Grace , The Starter Wife,
    Smash, The Mysteries of Laura
    )
  • 1972 Ben Affleck, Berkeley, California, actor (Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Sum of All Fears , Good Will Hunting, Gone Girl, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, The Accountant, Live by Night, Justice League)

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I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement, it takes place every day. – Albert Camus
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1824 Freed American slaves found Liberia.
  • 1843 Tivoli Gardens, one of the oldest still intact amusement parks in the world, opens in Copenhagen, Denmark.
  • 1914 A male servant of American architect Frank Lloyd Wright sets fire to the living quarters of the architect’s Wisconsin home, Taliesin, murders seven people and burns the living quarters to the ground.
  • 1935 Will Rogers and Wiley Post are killed after their aircraft develops engine problems during takeoff in Barrow, Alaska.
  • 1947 India becomes independent; Islamic part becomes Pakistan.
  • 1948 The Republic of Korea is established south of the 38th Parallel.
  • 1965 The Beatles play to nearly 60,000 fans at Shea Stadium in New York City, in an event later seen as marking the birth of stadium rock.
  • 1969 Woodstock Music & Art Fair opens in NY State (Max Yasgur’s Dairy Farm).
  • 1971 President Richard Nixon completes the break from the gold standard by ending convertibility of the United States dollar into gold by foreign investors.
  • 1977 The Big Ear, a radio telescope operated by Ohio State University as part of the SETI project, receives a radio signal from deep space; the event is named the “Wow! signal” from the notation made by a volunteer on the project.
  • 2013 The Smithsonian announces the discovery of the olinguito, the first new carnivorous species found in the Americas in 35 years.

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After starting a new diet, I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery.
But, this morning, I accidentally drove by the bakery and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies.

I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, “Lord, it’s up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, please create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery.”
And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!
God is good!
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My mother had decided to trim the household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Ivor, we are five pounds richer because I washed this dress by hand.”
“Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again.”
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ONE-LINERS: Interesting Ads and Signs . . .
~ Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
~ For sale: A quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
~ Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
~ 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

~ Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
~ Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
~ Modular Sofas. Only $299 For rest or fore play.
~ Auto Repair Service. Free pickup and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

~ Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
~ Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
~ Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale
~ And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

~ We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.
~ Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.
~ When you are thirsty, try 7-Up, the refreshing drink in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and Up after.
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An educational psychologist is asked to see a pupil who draws all his pictures with black and brown crayons. He talks to him. Nothing obvious. He gives him projective tests. Nothing shows up.
Finally, in desperation, he gives him some paper and a box of crayons.
“Oh goody,” says the boy, “I get an old box of crayons in school and only the black and brown were left.”
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An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to “Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it.”
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
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pic of the day: Olinguito


By Mark Gurney – Helgen K, Pinto C, Kays R, Helgen L, Tsuchiya M, Quinn A, Wilson D, Maldonado J (2013).
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

This five dollar bill walks into a bar and gets stopped by the guard.
“Hey, what’s your problem?” the five says.

“Get out of here!” says the guard.
“But why?”
“This is a singles bar!”
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My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.
One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her.
“Would you like to go out, girl?” he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, “Oh, yes, I’d love to!”
They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn’t until the end of it that Dad confessed.
His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom’s feet on the kitchen floor.
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The man who forgot to buy turkey for Thanksgiving. . . the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer and discovers that there’s one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”
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On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, “Dad, I know babies come from mommies’ tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?”
After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, “You don’t have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”
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Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition.
The successful one said, “How has everything been going with you?”
“Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush.

Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I’m as rich as Rockefeller.”
The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page.
He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, “Chapter Eleven.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is an olinguito? The olinguito (Spanish for “little olingo”, Bassaricyon neblina, colloquially known as the “kitty bear”) is a mammal of the raccoon family Procyonidae that lives in montane forests in the Andes of western Colombia and Ecuador. The species name neblina is Spanish for fog or mist, referring to the cloud forest habitat of the olinguito.

~ Why shouldn’t you shoot a hippo? Because it wouldn’t do you any good. The hippopotamus has skin an inch-and-a-half thick, so solid that most bullets cannot penetrate it. Although why you’d want to shoot a hippo is, perhaps, an even better question.

~Where can you see the most shells? The Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History houses the world’s largest shell collection, some 15 million specimens. A smaller museum, The Bailey-Matthews National Shell Museum, in Sanibel, Florida owns 2 million shells and claims to be the world’s only museum devoted solely to mollusks.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Peace is not something you wish for; it’s something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away.

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