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August 27th

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you. – Sholom Aleichem


239th day of the year (240th in leap years) with 126 days follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Just Because Day
~ National Banana Lovers Day
~ National Pots de Creme Day
~ Lyndon Baines Johnson Day (Texas)


  • 1865 Charles Dawes, Marietta, Ohio, 3oth Vice President of the U.S. (Calvin Coolidge president; Nobel/ Dawes Plan for WWI reparations)
  • 1899 C.S. Forestor, Cairo, Egypt, English author (Horatio Hornblower series, The African Queen, A Ship of the Line)
  • 1908 Lyndon B. Johnson, Stonewall, Texas, 36th President of the U.S. (1963-1965)
  • 1916 Martha Raye, Butte, Montana, actress (Never Say Die, Keep ‘Em Flying, Pufnstuf, Alice)
  • 1937 Tommy Sands, Chicago, Illinois,  actor (Sing Boy Sing, Babes in Toyland, None But the Brave, The Violent Ones) and singer
  • 1942 Daryl Dragon, Los Angeles, California, keyboardist (Captain & Tennille)
  • 1943 Tuesday Weld, NYC, New York, actress (Looking for Mr. Goodbar, The Winter of Our Discontent, Once Upon a Time in America, Pretty Poison, A Safe Place, I Walk the Line, Play It As It Lays)
  • 1947 Barbara Bach, Queens, New York, actress (The Spy Who Loved Me, Force 10 from Navarone)
  • 1949 Jeff Cook, Fort Payne, Alabama,  musician (Alabama)
  • 1969 Cesar Millan, Mexican-born American dog trainer (The Dog Whisperer)
  • 1969 Chandra Wilson, Houston, Texas, actress (Grey’s Anatomy)
  • 1979 Aaron Paul, Emmett, Idaho,  actor (Big Love, Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Central Intelligence, The Path)

Whatever you are, be a good one. – Abraham Lincoln


  • 1832 Black Hawk, leader of the Sauk tribe of Native Americans, surrenders to U.S. authorities, ending the Black Hawk War.
  • 1859 Petroleum is discovered in Titusville, Pennsylvania leading to the world’s first commercially successful oil well.
  • 1939 First flight of the turbojet-powered Heinkel He 178, the world’s first jet aircraft.
  • 1962 The Mariner 2 unmanned space mission is launched to Venus by NASA.
  • 2003 Mars makes its closest approach to Earth in nearly 60,000 years, passing 34,646,418 miles (55,758,005 km) distant.
  • 2003 The first six-party talks, involving South and North Korea, the United States, China, Japan and Russia, convene to find a peaceful resolution to the security concerns as a result of the North Korean nuclear weapons program.
  • 2006 Comair Flight 5191 crashes on takeoff from Blue Grass Airport in Lexington, Kentucky bound for Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta, Georgia. Of the passengers and crew, 49 of 50 are confirmed dead in the hours following the crash.
  • 2011 Hurricane Irene strikes the United States east coast, killing 47 and causing an estimated $15.6 billion in damage.


When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.

“I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”

“Of course.” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”


The other day I went into a toy store to buy a gift for my daughter. I said to the clerk, “How much are those Barbie dolls?”

“Work Out Barbie, Shopping Barbie, Disco Barbie, Ballerina Barbie, Astronaut Barbie and Skater Barbie are all $19.95, and Divorced Barbie is $265.95.”

“So why is Divorced Barbie so much more than the others?”

“That’s because Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer …”


ONE-LINERS: Things I’d Like to Hear From my doctor, Just Once

“Of course I’ll come by your house to check on you.”
“Give me a call at home over the weekend if you’re not feeling better.”

“Sure, come on by this afternoon, we’ll work you in.”
“I’ll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test.”

“Here, take these samples.”
“I recommend you get a second opinion.”
“Don’t worry about it, there’s no charge for that.”

The difference between tax avoiding and evasion is 10 years.

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “you protect the public.” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system.” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.
In honor of National Pots de Creme Day!
National Pors de Creme day

A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

City slicker: “Look at that bunch of cows.”
Farmer: “Not bunch … herd.”

City slicker: “Heard what?”
Farmer: “Herd of cows.”

City slicker: “Sure I’ve heard of cows.”
Farmer: “No, a cow herd.”
City slicker: “Why should I care what a cow heard? I’ve got no secrets from a cow.”

Herd of Cows, Take Two

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.
As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, “Say, look at that big bunch of cows.”

The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch,’ but ‘herd.'”
“Heard what?”

“Herd of cows.”
“Sure, I’ve heard of cows…there’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.”

~ A plumber’s pipe dream was to tap all his resources to become multifauceted.
~ Q: What does a bowl of Chinese soup weigh? A: Won Ton
~ They’re a perfect match. He’s a real estate broker and he has lots to offer.
~ The special coffee of the day at my neighborhood coffee shop is “the King Arthur.” It’s a Camelotte.
~ “This meat is hard to chew,” Tom beefed jerkily.
~ “Get me off this horse!” Tom derided woefully.
~ “My giant sea mammal died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.
~ “I plan to work in a cemetery,” Tom plotted gravely.
~ Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.


I went to a steakhouse for dinner the other night, but something was out of the ordinary. In the middle of the floor was an open area where the tables and chairs had been removed, and there were two hooks attached to the ceiling. Hanging from one hook was a large T-bone, and on the other hook was a twelve-ounce sirloin.

I asked the waitress what this was about.

“We’re having a contest tonight. You stand under the hooks, jump straight up and try to grab the meat. If you make it, you get your dinner for free. If you don’t, you have to pay double. Whaddaya say, you wanna give it a try?”

I pondered this a moment before I replied, “No way! steaks are too high.”

My dry cleaner very generously provides a stack of free newspapers for his customers.

As I took my copy, I told him, “I hope the business grows enough to offset the cost of the papers.”

“Oh, don’t worry about us,” he chuckled. “Nothing dirties clothes more than newsprint.”

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally.

“What’s in the bag?” asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the bag and, smiling, said, “It’s a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband.”

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.”

“I never eat food containing unnatural coloring or preservatives, or sprayed vegetables, or meat that has been pumped with hormones or similar, unnatural growth-enhancing stuff.”

“Well, how do you feel?”

“Very hungry.”

“Excuse me,” a young fellow said to an older man, “I’ve just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?”

“Well,” replied the older man, “I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet.”

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Pots de Crème

~Pots de Creme refers to both the custard dessert as well as the small lidded pots this dessert is served in.

~Pots de creme, or pot-au-creme translates from French to English as “pot of cream”.

~The French do not have a word for “custard” the dish is simply referred to as “creme”.

~The pots may also be referred to as “petits pots“.

~Custards as we know them today date back to the Middle Ages when it was used as a filling for a Flan or a Tart.

~The word custard is derived from “crustade” which is a tart with a crust.

~ After the 16th century fruit creams became popular and it was about this time that custards were made in individual dishes rather than a filling in a crust.

QUIP OF THE DAY: Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.


Thought for the day. . .

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right – Henry Ford.

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