The starting point of all achievement is desire. – Napoleon Hill
TODAY – AUGUST 3rd
215th day of the year (216th in leap years) with 150 days to follow.
Holidays for Today:
~ Esther Day
~ National Airplane Crop Duster Day
~ National Grab Some Nuts Day
~ National Watermelon Day
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1811 Elisha Graves Otis, Windham County, Vermont, businessman (Otis Elevator Co.); inventor (safety device that prevented elevators from falling if the hoisting cable broke)
- 1900 Ernie Pyle, Dana, Indiana, journalist/ war correspondent (WWII)
- 1904 Clifford D. Simak, Millville, Wisconsin, author (Minneapolis Star ‘s news editor ), Grand Master sci-fi author (Cosmic Engineers, Empire, Time and Again, Way Station, Highway of Eternity)
- 1920 P.D. James, Oxford, England, author (mystery – Adam Dalgliesh series)
- 1926 Tony Bennett, Queens, New York, singer (I Left my Heart in San Francisco)
- 1940 Martin Sheen, Dayton, Ohio, actor (Badlands, Apocalypse Now, Gettysburg, The Departed, The Amazing Spider-Man, The West Wing, The Vessel)
- 1941 Martha Stewart, Nutley, New Jersey, cookbook author/media personality
- 1949 Philip Casnoff, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actor (North and South, Hands of a Stranger, Sinatra, Under Suspicion, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Oz, Strong Medicine)
- 1950 Linda Howard, Gadsden, Alabama, author (romance/suspense series: Spencer-Nyle Co., Kell Sabin, MacKenzie, A Lady of the West, Patterson-Cannon, CIA John Medina, Blair Mallory)
- 1959 John C. McGinley, New York City, New York, actor (Platoon, Se7en, The Rock, Office Space, Scrubs, Alex Cross, Get a Job, Ground Floor)
- 1961 Molly Hagan, Minneapolis, Minnesota, actress (Code of Silence, Some Kind of Wonderful, Herman’s Head, Election, Unfabulous, iZombie)
- 1963 Isaiah Washington, Houston, Texas, actor (Grey’s Anatomy, new Bionic Woman, Blue Caprice, The 100)
- 1983 Mamie Gummer, New York City, New York, actress (John Adams, The Good Wife, The Ward, Off the Map, Emily Owens, M.D., Manhatten)
- 1994 Esther Earl, Beverly, Massachusetts, author, internet vlogger, Nerdfighter, activist in the Harry Potter Alliance
Life is meant to be lived. – Eleanor Roosevelt
HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1678 Robert LaSalle builds first ship in America, the Griffon.
- 1900 Firestone Tire & Rubber Company founded.
- 1914 World War I: Germany declares war against France.
- 1921 First aerial crop dusting used to spread lead arsenate to kill catalpa sphinx caterpillars near Troy, Ohio.
- 1923 Calvin Coolidge is sworn in as the 30th President of the United States in the early morning following the death of Warren G. Harding the previous day.
- 1934 Adolf Hitler becomes the supreme leader of Germany by joining the offices of President and Chancellor into Führer.
- 1936 Jesse Owens wins the 100 meter dash, defeating Ralph Metcalfe, at the Berlin Olympics.
- 1946 The world’s first themed amusement park, Santa Claus Land, opens in Santa Claus, Indiana.
- 1958 USS Nautilus begins first crossing of Arctic Ocean under ice cap.
- 1977 Tandy Corporation announces the TRS-80, one of the world’s first mass-produced personal computers.
- 2004 The pedestal of the Statue of Liberty reopens after being closed since the September 11 attacks.
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
“Ever have an accident?”
“Nope, nary a one.”
“None? You’ve never had any accidents.”
“Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.”
“Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?”
“Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”
The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. ‘Well, we’re a mite crowded, silence there’s already someone in the spare room,’ replied the farmer. ‘But I guess you can stay if you don’t mind sharing the bed with a red haired schoolteacher.’
‘Look,’ said the tourist, ‘I want you to know I’m a gentleman.’
‘Well,’ mused the farmer, ‘as far as I can tell, so is the red haired schoolteacher.’
ONE-LINERS: Engineers say versus what they mean…
1. A number of different approaches are being tried.
(We are still guessing at this point.)
2. Close project coordination.
(We sat down and had coffee together.)
3. An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach.
(We just hired three punk kids out of school.)
4. Major technological breakthrough!
(It works OK; but looks very hi-tech!)
5. Customer satisfaction is believed assured.
(We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.)
6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
(The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)
7. Test results were extremely gratifying!
(Unbelievable, it actually worked!)
8. The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
(The only guy who understood the thing quit.)
9. It is in process.
(It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless.)
10. We will look into it.
(Forget it! We have enough problems already.)
11. Please note and initial.
(Let’s spread the responsibility for this.)
12. Give us the benefit of your thinking.
(We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do.)
13. Give us your interpretation.
(We can’t wait to hear your baloney.)
14. See me or let’s discuss.
(Come to my office, I’ve screwed up again.)
15. All new.
(Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.)
(Don’t plan to lift it without major equipment.)
(Rugged, but more so)
18. Light weight.
(Slightly lighter than rugged)
19. Years of development.
(One finally worked)
20. Energy saving.
(Achieved when the power switch is off.)
21. No maintenance.
(Impossible to fix)
22. Low maintenance.
(Nearly impossible to fix)
23. Fax me the data.
(I’m too lazy to write it down.)
24. We are following the standard!
(That’s the way we have always done it!)
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ A horse is a very stable animal.
~ If you hear it from the horse’s mouth you’re listening to a neigh sayer.
~ One horse said to another: your pace is familiar but I don’t remember the mane.
~ Sign at a deer crossing: The Buck Stops Here.
~ He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.
~ When a cow gives birth she not only gives cream, she is de-calf-inated.
~ Why was the Pepsi Cola employee fired? He tested positive for Coke.
~ NASA is building a restaurant on the moon. Great food but no atmosphere.
Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the Emcee that he desired a question on American History.
The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The Emcee stepped up to the mike.
“Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?”
Bob nodded with a cocky confidence – the crowd went nuts. He hadn’t missed a question all week.
“Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?”
Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe.
“I’ll try the second part first.”
The Emcee nodded approvingly. “Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half.”
The audience silenced with gross anticipation…
“Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen??”
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: “If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: “They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.”
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'”
“It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.”
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on Christmas, their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
“Why are you crying?” the father asked.
“Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I’ll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken,” answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. “What are you so happy about?” he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
TODAY IN TRIVIA: Who does Esther Day honor? Esther Earl was an American author, internet vlogger, online personality and a Nerdfighter, as well as an activist in the Harry Potter Alliance. Prior to her death from cancer in 2010, Earl became friends with author John Green, who credited her for inspiring him to complete the novel that became 2012 bestseller The Fault in Our Stars. In 2014, Earl’s writings were compiled and released as the book This Star Won’t Go Out, which appeared in 2014 on the New York Times bestseller list for young adult books.
~ What are you supposed to do on Esther Day? The day is a celebration of love, specifically non-romantic love. It is supposed to be celebrated by telling your friends and family you love them.
~Does the brain feel pain? Pain from any injury or illness is always registered by the brain. Yet, curiously, the brain tissue itself is immune to pain; it contains none of the specialized receptor cells that sense pain in other parts of the body. The pain associated with brain tumors does not arise from brain cells but from the pressure created by a growing tumor or tissues outside the brain.
QUIP OF THE DAY: All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height – Casey Stengel
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Whatever is expressed is impressed. Whatever you say to yourself, with emotion, generates thoughts, ideas and behaviors consistent with those words. – Brain Tracy