Pages Menu
Rss
Categories Menu

August 7th

Do all things with love. – Og Mandino

TODAY – AUGUST 7th

219th day of the year (220th in leap years) with 146 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Raspberries ‘n Cream Day (Fresh Fruit or Raspberry Ice Cream)
~ National Lighthouse Day
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1876 Mata Hari, Dutch exotic dancer, convicted as spy for Germany during WWI
  • 1903 Louis Leakey, British archaeologist & author (major role in creating organizations for future research in Africa)
  • 1933 Jerry Pournelle, Shreveport, Louisiana, author (Exiles to Glory, Starswarm / with Larry Niven: The Mote in God’s Eye, Lucifer’s Hammer)
  • 1942 B.J. Thomas, Hugo, Oklahoma, singer (Hooked on a Feeling, Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head, Rock and Roll Lullaby)
  • 1942 Garrison Keillor, Anoka, Minnesota, author and radio host (A Prairie Home Companion)
  • 1955 Wayne Knight, NYC, New York, actor (Seinfeld, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Jurassic Park, Space Jam, Tarzan, Rat Race, Legend of the Three Caballeros)
  • 1960 David Duchovny, NYC, New York, actor (Fox Mulder on The X-Files, Californication, Aquarius)
  • 1963 Harold Perrineau, Brooklyn, New York, actor (Lost, The Matrix, The Unusuals, Sons of Anarchy, Oz, The Edge, Claws)
  • 1966 Jimmy Wales, Huntsville, Alabama, internet entrepreneur (co-founder & promoter of Wikipedia)
  • 1978 Cirroc Lofton, Los Angeles, California, actor (Jake Sisko on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; The Hoop Life)
  • 1979 Eric Johnson, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, American actor (Smallville, Flash Gordon, Vikings, Rookie Blue, The Knick)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1679 The brigantine Le Griffon, commissioned by René Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle, is towed to the south-eastern end of the Niagara River, to become the first ship to sail the upper Great Lakes of North America.
  • 1782 George Washington orders the creation of the Badge of Military Merit to honor soldiers wounded in battle. It is later renamed to the more poetic Purple Heart.
  • 1789 The United States War Department is established.
  • 1909 Alice Huyler Ramsey and three friends become the first women to complete a transcontinental auto trip, taking 59 days to travel from New York City to San Francisco.
  • 1927 The Peace Bridge opens between Fort Erie, Ontario and Buffalo, New York.
  • 1959 The Lincoln Memorial design on the U.S. penny goes into circulation. It replaces the “sheaves of wheat” design, and was minted until 2008.
  • 1976 Viking 2 enters orbit around Mars.
  • 1978 U.S. President Jimmy Carter declares a federal emergency at Love Canal due to toxic waste that had been negligently disposed of.
  • 1981 The Washington Star ceases all operations after 128 years of publication.
  • 1989 U.S. Congressman Mickey Leland (D-TX) and 15 others die in a plane crash in Ethiopia.
  • 1998 The United States embassy bombings in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania and Nairobi, Kenya kill approximately 212 people.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WHILE IN THE MARINE CORPS, my husband, Greg, was a recruiter in Chicago. One morning he went to pick up a candidate at a crime-ridden high-rise building. He got into the elevator, and, to his dismay, was joined by two tough-looking characters who demanded money. My husband’s training came to the rescue.

Looking them in the eye, he began his recruiter’s pitch. “This might be your lucky day,” he told them enthusiastically. “We can use determined, forceful individuals like you in the Marines. How would you like to serve your country?”

By the time he finished, the elevator had stopped at the candidate’s floor, and the bewildered thugs quickly disappeared. – Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Ann Robison
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: ATTACK OR RETREAT?
The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES.

The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT?
Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: REASONS NOT TO JOIN THE EMPIRE’S ARMIES
10. Stormtroopers are the Empire’s first line of defense.
9. All ships and installations are built around a “main reactor.”
8. Exhaust ports are big enough for proton torpedoes and always lead to the “main reactor.”

7. TIE Fighters have no shields.
6. The Emperor’s best troops were defeated by rock and stick wielding teddy bears.
5. Officers over the rank of Lieutenant have a life expectancy of two weeks.

4. Everything proceeds as the Emperor has foreseen.
3. Stormtroopers are picked for their intelligence and common sense.
2. The Emperor allows the alliance to know the location of the shield generator.
1. Bounty Hunters, We don’t need their scum!
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

On their first date, Jim and Danielle sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema’s concession stand. Jim and Danielle realized that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued.
Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, “Okay, who’s got the remote control?”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A story told by a chemistry professor:
A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Out of the corner of his eye, the professor observed what the student was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, he asked the student to first to stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.
Puzzled, the student asked the purpose of this action.
“It will give me time to run away,” said the professor.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

The small hamlet of Earl Grey in Wales has been manufacturing great tea for more than fifty years. The town has also been re-electing the same mayor for decades. Although the mayor is senile and in her dotage, she is beloved and continues to win.

Lately she has been falling asleep during town meetings and committee meetings, and sometimes she even forgets where she is or who she is. She rambles on in her speeches, forgets what she is saying, and, in short, is a disgrace and embarrassment to her position. The residents all agree that as lovable as she is … “the Earl Grey mayor just ain’t what she used to be.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

As my elderly aunt and uncle strolled downtown one afternoon they run into their old friends. They spend some time discussing this and that when one friend asks my uncle where they has been. “We just left the office of our memory doctor”

“Memory doctor? What is that all about?”
“Well,” replies my uncle, “As you know we are getting up there in age, and our memory just isn’t as sharp as it once was.”

“Is the doctor effective?”
“Oh, yes, he’s wonderful.”

“Really. You know, my memory is not too sharp these days either. Maybe I’ll pay him a visit. Whats his name?”
“Oh. Uh. Well.” replies my uncle. “Um. You know those things that grow out of the ground?”.

“You mean trees?”
“Kind of, but smaller.”

“You mean a bush?”
“Yes, a bush or a plant, but … Um … You know, more colorful.”

“A flower?”
“Yes. A flower. But it has sharp, pointy, sticky things growing on it.”

“Thorns?”
“Yes. Thorns.”

“Oh!” says the friend “A rose!”
“Yes, exactly” says my uncle, turning to his wife “Hey Rose, what is the name of our memory doctor?.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The Catholic Church’s air conditioning broke down, so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure out what was wrong. As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the altar, apparently saying her rosary.
Since the man was a fundamental Baptist, he thought it’d be funny to try and mess with the lady’s mind. In his best authoritative voice, he said, “This is Jesus. Your prayers will be answered.”

The little old lady didn’t even blink, just kept on saying her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn’t hear him, and tried again. “This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers will be answered!”
Again, she didn’t react at all. Mustering up a big breath of air, the man decided to try again.

“THIS IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!”
The lady looks up and says, “BE QUIET! I’M TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist’s office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears. ”Doctor, my memory’s gone. Gone! I can’t remember my wife’s name. Can’t remember my children’s names. Can’t remember what kind of car I drive. Can’t remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here.”

”Calm down. How long have you been like this?”
”Like what?”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: How long have knights been rescuing damsels from dragons? The original story of a knight rescuing a damsel in distress from the clutches of a marauding dragon came in the tale of Saint George. He was a Roman Calvary officer that rode to the aid of a town in Cappadocia. The people their had been plagued by a dragon and sacrificed their best sheep to try and appease it, failing they offered up a village virgin.

~Why can’t butterflies get out when its cold? Butterflies cannot fly if their body temperature is less than 86 degrees.

~How much sap does it take to make syrup? As many as 50 gallons of maple sap are needed to make a single gallon of maple sugar.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. – Oliver Goldsmith

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.