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December 12th

Work like you don’t need the money, love like your heart has never been broken, and dance like no one is watching. – Aurora Greenway


346th day of the year (347th in leap years) with 19 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Gingerbread House Day
~ National 12-hour Fresh Breath Day
~ National Ambrosia Day
~ National Ding-a-Ling Day
~ National Poinsettia Day
~ Our Lady of Guadalupe


  • 1863 Edvard Munch, Norwegian artist (The Scream)
  • 1915 Frank Sinatra, Hoboken, New Jersey, singer (My Way) and actor (Anchors Aweigh, From Here to Eternity, Suddenly, The Man with the Golden Arm, The Manchurian Candidate, The First Deadly Sin)
  • 1923 Bob Barker, Darrington, Washington, television game show host (Truth or Consequences, The Price is Right)
  • 1927 Robert Noyce, Burlington, Iowa, inventor (integrated circuit or microchip which fueled the personal computer revolution and gave Silicon Valley its name)
  • 1940 Dionne Warwick, East Orange, New Jersey, singer (40 biggest hit makers of the entire rock era (1955–1999) )
  • 1952 Cathy Rigby, Los Alamitos, California, gymnast (first American woman to win medal at World Gymnastics Championships) and actress (played Peter Pan for more than 30 years)
  • 1958 Sheree J. Wilson, Rochester, Minnesota, actress (Dallas, Walker Texas Ranger)
  • 1962 Tracy Austin, Palos Verdes Peninsula, California, tennis player and sportscaster (3 Grand Slam titles, youngest inductee into International Tennis Hall of Fame)
  • 1970 Jennifer Connelly, Round Top, New York, actress (Labyrinth, The Rocketeer, Requiem for a Dream, A Beautiful Mind, House of Sand and Fog, Dark Water, Noah, American Pastoral, Only the Brave)
  • 1975 Mayim Bialik, San Diego, California, neuroscientist and actress (Blossom, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory)

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road. – Henry Ward Beecher


  • 1787 Pennsylvania becomes the second state to ratify the United States Constitution five days after Delaware became the first.
  • 1862 USS Cairo sinks on the Yazoo River, becoming the first armored ship to be sunk by an electrically detonated mine.
  • 1917 In Nebraska, Father Edward J. Flanagan founds Boys Town as a farm village for wayward boys.
  • 1941 Adolf Hitler announces plans for extermination of the Jews at a meeting in the Reich Chancellery.
  • 1942 German troops begin Operation Winter Storm during WWII, an attempt to relieve encircled Axis forces during the Battle of Stalingrad.
  • 1950 Paula Ackerman, the first woman appointed to perform rabbinical functions in the United States, leads the congregation in her first services.
  • 1985 Arrow Air Flight 1285 crashes after takeoff in Gander, Newfoundland killing 256, including 236 members of the United States Army’s 101st Airborne Division.
  • 2000 The United States Supreme Court releases its decision in Bush v. Gore
  • 2015 The Paris Agreement relating to United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change is adopted.


Last Christmas, Grandpa was feeling his age and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.

In each card he wrote, “Buy your own present!” and mailed them early.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of holiday festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return.

Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks that he had forgotten to enclose with the cards

An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.

“I can’t stop!” she shrilled. “What should I do?”

“Brace yourself,” advised her husband, “and try to hit something cheap.”

What would have happened if three wise women had gone to Bethlehem instead of three wise men? . . .

~ They would have asked directions.
~ Arrived on time.
~ Helped deliver the baby.
~ Hired someone to clean the stable.
~ Made a brisket.
~ And brought practical gifts.

… and what would they have said to each other after they left?

~ “Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that schmatta [rags]?”
~ “That baby doesn’t look anything like Joseph!”
~ “Can you believe they let all of those disgusting animals in there?”
~ “I heard that Joseph doesn’t have a job.”
~ “And that donkey they are riding has seen better days!”
~ “We’ll just see how long it will take to get your brisket dish back!”

My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, “My dog got hold of this.”

The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back down on the counter. “Well, what do you recommend?” I asked.

He looked at me and replied, “Give your dog the other shoe.”

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.


His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, ”Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”

To which the little brother replied, ”No, but Gramma is!”

In honor of National Poinsettia Day: Holiday Poinsettia tree. . .

poinsettia (Euphorbia pulcherrima) tree

We were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting.

“He’ll be deaf before he’s 25,” I said.

“That won’t help us,” my wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up.”


Any day now, I’ll get my mother-in-law’s annual letter to us, which will go something like this:

Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,

Merry Christmas to you, and please don’t worry. I’m just fine considering I can’t breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I’ve sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you’ll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.

Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they’ll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me — we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she’s never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?

Well son, it’s time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don’t you worry about me. I’m also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don’t you even think about sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year. Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is–the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.

Merry Christmas.


WARNING! Punny Signs of The Times . . .!
~ On a plumber’s truck: A flush is better than a full house.
~ In a Catholic Church: Litany Candles?
~ On a motel: Dew Drop Inn.
~ Over a display of batteries: Wanna start something?
~ On an antique shop: Remains to be seen.
~ With a display of leftover Christmas decorations: All that glitters was not sold.
~ At a tire store: Time to retire.
~ On a Southern street: No U-all turn.
~ On a music store: Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.
A small piece of sodium which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
“Oh Bunsen, my flame. I melt whenever I see you . . .”, the sodium pined.
“It’s just a phase you’re going through”, replied the Bunsen burner.
December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas. Some insist on a shirt; others a pair of socks, and the argument always ends in a tie.

A father, visiting America from Europe for the very first time, goes up and down the isles with his son at the local Giant Food Store.

“Vas diss? Powdered Orange Juice?”

“Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh ‘orange juice.'” … A few minutes later, in a different aisle … “Und vas dis? Powdered milk?? ”

“Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!” … A few minutes later, in a different aisle … “Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!”

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, he asked her the usual question, “And what would you like for Christmas?”

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my text?”

This virus works on the honor system:

Most viruses target PC’s. Therefore, this honor system virus has been created to target most other systems.

So, if you are running a Macintosh, OS/2, Unix or Linux computer, please randomly delete or corrupt several files from your hard disk now. Then forward this message to everyone you know.

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

“What’s going on?” she yells out the window.

“Cow on the track!” replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Why is this date national Poinsettia Day? The United States has observed this as the official National Poinsettia Day since the mid-1800s. It honors the man and the plant he introduced. Poinsett died Dec.12, 1851.

~ Is it true the poinsettia isn’t popular because of the flowers? Absolutely true as the poinsettia’s main attraction is not its flowers, but is actually the leaves. The flowers of the plant are the yellow clustered buds in the center (termed “cyathia”). The colored leafy parts are actually bracts or modified leaves, that turn color in response to the plant forming flowers. When buying a poinsettia, make sure it has the buds, preferably not yet open.

~ How big does a poinsettia grow in the wild? The poinsettia can reach heights of 12 feet with leaves measuring six to eight inches across? It is actually a small tropical tree (Euphorbia pulcherrima) and belongs to the Euphorbia plant family.

~ Who is considered the “father of the poinsettia industry”? Paul Ecke, Jr. is considered the father of this industry, as it is he who figured out a method for getting poinsettias to branch. Prior they grew tall so stems had to be bent back into a loop, or “tromboned,” to keep them at a desirable height. It is from this plant and firm that the football bowl game in San Diego gets its name.
QUIP OF THE DAY: Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.


Thought for the day. . . “There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must of felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.
“Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.” – Alexandre Dumas, , The Count of Monte Cristo

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