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December 24th

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.  – Wayne Dyer


TODAY – DECEMBER 24th

358th day of the year (359th in leap years) with 7 days follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Christmas Eve
~ National Eggnog Day
~ Feast of the Seven Fishes (Italian-Americans)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1809 Kit Carson, Madison County, Kentucky, frontiersman, courier & scout
  • 1818 James Prescott Joule, England, physicist (studied the nature of heat, and discovered its relationship to mechanical work)
  • 1880 Johnny Gruelle, Arcola, Illinois, cartoonist, children’s book author (creator of Raggedy Ann & Raggedy Andy)
  • 1881 Juan Ramón Jiménez, Spain, author (advocated the French concept of “pure poetry”)
  • 1905 Howard Hughes, Humble, Texas,  film producer and inventor (was one of the wealthiest people in the world / known for Hughes Aircraft; Films)
  • 1910 Fritz Leiber, Chicago, Illinois, author (Fafhrd & the Gray Mouser series, The Big Time, The Wanderer, Our Lady of Darkness); expert chess player and fencer
  • 1922 Ava Gardner, Smithfield, North Carolina, actress (Show Boat, The Snows of Kilimanjaro, The Barefoot Contessa, Earthquake)
  • 1927 Mary Higgins Clark, The Bronx, New York, author (Where Are the Children?, While My Pretty One Sleeps, Moonlight Becomes You, Daddy’s Little Girl, The Lost Years)
  • 1941 John Levene, English actor (Sergeant John Benton of the UNIT on Doctor Who: 1967-1975)
  • 1945 Nicholas Meyer, NYC, New York, author (The Seven-Per-Cent Solution, The West End Horror, Black Orchid) and director (Time After Time, The Day After, Star Trek films)
  • 1946 Jeff Sessions, Selma, Alabama, lawyer and politician (44th Attorney General of Alabama)
  • 1955 Grand L. Bush, Los Angeles, California, actor (Hard Feelings, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Demolition Man, The Visitor,  Shark Hunter)
  • 1960 Glenn McQueen, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, American animator (supervisor of digital animation and supervising character animator at Pixar and PDI)
  • 1964 Mark Valley, Ogdensburg, New York, actor (Days of our Lives, The Seige, Boston Legal, Human Target, Harry’s Law, Body of Proof)
  • 1966 Diedrich Bader, Alexandria, Virginia,  actor (Napoleon Dynamite, The Drew Carey Show, Outsourced)
  • 1970 Adam Haslett, Port Chester, New York, author (You Are Not a Stranger Here, Union Atlantic)
  • 1970 Amaury Nolasco, Puerto Rico, actor (Prison Break, Transformers )
  • 1973 Stephenie Meyer, Hartford, Connecticut, author (Twilight series)

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The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis.  – Dalai Lama
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1294 Pope Boniface VIII is elected Pope, replacing St. Celestine V, who had resigned.
  • 1777 Kiritimati, also called Christmas Island, is discovered by James Cook.
  • 1818 The first performance of “Silent Night” takes place in the church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorf, Austria.
  • 1826 The Eggnog Riot at the United States Military Academy begins that night, wrapping up the following morning.
  • 1914 World War I: The “Christmas truce” begins.
  • 1955 NORAD Tracks Santa for the first time in what will become an annual Christmas Eve tradition.
  • 1966 A Canadair CL-44 chartered by the United States military crashes into a small village in South Vietnam, killing 129.
  • 1968 Apollo Program: The crew of Apollo 8 enters into orbit around the Moon, becoming the first humans to do so. They performed 10 lunar orbits and broadcast live TV pictures that became the famous Christmas Eve Broadcast, one of the most watched programs in history.
  • 1980 Witnesses report the first of several sightings of unexplained lights near RAF Woodbridge, in Rendlesham Forest, Suffolk, England, an incident called “Britain’s Roswell”.
  • 2000 The Texas 7 hold up a sports store in Irving, Texas. Police officer Aubrey Hawkins is murdered during the robbery.

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It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,”What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened.”
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A Swiss guy visiting Sydney, Australia, pulls up at a bus stop where two locals are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.

The two Aussies just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries.

The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?”

No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?”
Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Aussie turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”
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ONE-LINERS: Life’s Observations

1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea.”
3. I have my own little world. But it’s OK, they know me here.

4. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
6. I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
8. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
9. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a couple of bucks at the bowling alley.

10. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
11. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
12. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends’ and relatives’ birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on.

I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.

“Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?” I asked.
“Have you tried a wife?” he replied.
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CHRISTMAS RANDOM ACTS of THINKING

~ Christmas is that time of year when everyone gets so Santamental.
~ Christmas is that time of year when you exchange hellos with strangers, and good buys with friends.
~ Some people put so many lights on their house you’re not sure if they’re celebrating the birth of Christ or the birth of General Electric.

~ I know, I know. “It’s the thought that counts.” But gee, couldn’t people think a little bigger?
~ While Christmas is in our hearts one month a year, VISA makes sure we’re reminded of it the other eleven months.

~ Back in my day, we didn’t have a Christmas tree. We had a Christmas stump.
~ They have so many creative things on the market this year! I just saw “Neurotic Barbie.” It comes already wound up.

~ Overheard in the hobby shop store: “That’s a great Star Trek set. I’ll take it!”
Clerk says, “Very good, sir, your son will love it.”
Dad replies, “Hmmm, maybe you’re right. I better get two!”
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pic of the day: Merry Christmas


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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”
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Lisa thanks her grandpa, “Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year for Christmas. I’ve never got such a brilliant gift!”

“Really?” asks the surprised Grandpa.
Lisa says, “Oh yeah – every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

1. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life.

2. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.

3. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.

4. What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint-nickel-less.

5. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

6. Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
His wife was a total flake.

7. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him!

8. What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa?
A Christmas quacker.

9. What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
Crisp Pringles.

10. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.
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“Boss, can I take tomorrow off? My wife really needs help with Christmas cleaning,” asks Joe.
“Are you out of your head, man? I can’t give you a day off for this!” rumbles the boss.
“Oh thanks a lot, boss,” Joe smiles, relieved, “I knew I could rely on you!”
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The Claus Family

St. Nicholas is the main Claus.
His wife is a relative Claus.

His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Claus.

As a group, they’re all renoun Clauses.
Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.
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Two airheads roam the woods looking for a nice Christmas tree.

After hours of freezing and chasing away the odd wolf, one of the airheads brings down her axe and says, “OK that’s it. I’m taking the next right-sized tree we see and I don’t give a dime if it’s decorated or not!”
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A dog is gazing up at the Christmas tree and sighs with satisfaction, “Oh, my master is the best, as always. What dog can say they’ve had electrical lights installed in their indoor toilet?”
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“Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.” –Jimmy Kimmel
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TODAY’S TRIVIA: What is the Feast of the Seven Fishes holiday? This day (Italian: Festa dei sette pesci) is an Italian-American celebration of Christmas Eve with dishes of fish and other seafood. Christmas Eve is a vigil or fasting day, and the abundance of seafood reflects the observance of abstinence from meat until the feast of Christmas Day itself. Today, the meal typically consists of seven different seafood dishes.

~ Where did this tradition start? It comes from Southern Italy, where it is known simply as The Vigil (La Vigilia). This celebration commemorates the wait, the Vigilia di Natale, for the midnight birth of the baby Jesus. It was introduced in the United States by Southern Italian immigrants in New York City’s Little Italy in the late 1800s.

~ When did the Puritans celebrate Christmas? They didn’t. In fact, Puritans banned Christmas in Boston from 1659 to 1681. Even though the ban on Christmas was lifted in 1681, Christmas didn’t become popular in Boston until the mid-19th century.

~ What does a political cartoonist have to do with Santa Claus? Thomas Nast is largely responsible for defining what the modern Santa Claus looks like. He drew a picture of Santa Claus for the January 1, 1881 issue of Harper’s Weekly and the rest of the media ran with it. It became the visual prototype of the Santa Claus we all know and love.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Jedi knights have an extra advantage at Christmas. They can feel the presents.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way. – Wayne Dyer

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