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December 26th

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. – Robert Byrne

TODAY – DECEMBER 26th

360th day of the year (361st in leap years) with 5 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Boxing Day
~ National Candy Cane Day
~ Kwanzaa, first day (celebrated until January 1)
~ 2nd day of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity)
~ Wren Day (Ireland and the Isle of Man)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1791 Charles Babbage, London, England,  English mathematician and inventor (Considered a “father of the computer”)
  • 1891 Henry Miller, Yorkville, Manhattan, New York City, author (writing style is a mixture of novel, autobiography, social criticism, philosophical reflection, surrealist free association, and mysticism, that is distinctly always about the real-life Henry Miller and yet is also fictional)
  • 1921 Steve Allen, New York City, New York, comedian (the first host of The Tonight Show)
  • 1935 Abdul “Duke” Fakir, Detroit, Michigan, singer (The Four Tops)
  • 1942 Catherine Coulter, Cameron County, Texas, author (series: Baron, The Bride, The Legacy; The Magic Trilogy)
  • 1945 John Walsh, Auburn, New York, television host, producer, and activist, created America’s Most Wanted
  • 1949 Bob Hartman, Lyons, New York, Christian artist, guitarist, writer and songwriter (Petra)
  • 1960 Jim Toomey, Alexandria, Virginia, syndicated cartoonist (Sherman’s Lagoon)
  • 1964 Elizabeth Johnson Kostova, New London, Connecticut, author (The Historian, The Swan Thieves, The Shadow Land)
  • 1971 Jared Leto, Bossier City, Louisiana, actor and singer (My So-Called Life, Fight Club, Urban Legend, Requiem for a Dream, Suicide Squad, Blade Runner 2049)
  • 1974 Joshua John Miller, Los Angeles, California, actor (Family Ties, Growing Pains, 21 Jump StreetThe Wonder Years )
  • 1979 Chris Daughtry, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina, singer (fourth-place finalist on the fifth season of American Idol, lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist for the rock band Daughtry)

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Just living is not enough.  One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. – Hans Christian Anderson
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1799 Four thousand people attend George Washington’s funeral where Henry Lee declares him as “first in war, first in peace and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
  • 1861 The Trent Affair: Confederate diplomatic envoys James M. Mason and John Slidell are freed by the United States government, thus heading off a possible war between the United States and Britain.
  • 1862 Four nuns serving as volunteer nurses on board USS Red Rover are the first female nurses on a U.S. Navy hospital ship.
  • 1871 Gilbert and Sullivan collaborate for the first time, on their lost opera, Thespis. It does modestly well, but the two would not collaborate again for four years.
  • 1919 Babe Ruth of the Boston Red Sox is sold to the New York Yankees by owner Harry Frazee.
  • 1933 FM radio is patented.
  • 1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs a bill establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day in the United States.
  • 1982 Time Magazine‘s Man of the Year is for the first time a non-human, the personal computer.
  • 1986 The first long-running American television soap opera, Search for Tomorrow, airs its final episode after 35 years on the air.

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Bird Tags According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

“Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible.” The bands are now marked ‘Fish and Wildlife Service’.

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My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”

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ONE-LINERS: I’m Gonna Be Late Because…

– I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

– I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet…

– I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

– If it is all the same to you I won’t be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

– Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Bears, huh? So, I won’t be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I’ll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

– I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

– The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won’t bite things when I am startled.

– I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

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The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.

When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. “Ma,” he shouted, “the results are in. I won the election!”

“Honestly?”

The politician’s smiled faded. “Aw shoot, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?”
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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew his top.

“How many times can you do this to us in a single game?” he screamed. “You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter.”

The official just stared.

The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. “What it comes down to,” he bellowed, “is that you STINK!”

The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback.

The official finally replied, “And how do I smell from here?”

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pic of the day: English Shepherd and Maremma Sheepdog

English Shepherd and Maremma Sheepdog
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The classified ad said, “Wanted: CEO needs a one armed consultant, with a social sciences degree and five years of experience.”

The man who won the job asked, “I understand most of the qualifications you required, but why ‘one armed’?”

The CEO answered, “I have had many consultants, and I am tired of hearing every bit of advice the phrase end with ‘on the other hand’.”
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A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled “COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS.”

When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered ‘no.’

“Then why are you checking it out?”

“Because,” said the little boy confidently, “I just started collecting moths last week!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the “Chicken Surprise”. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

“Good grief, did you see that?” she asks her husband.

He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

“Please sir,” says the waiter, “what you order?”

The husband replies, “Chicken Surprise.”

“Ah, so sorry,” says the waiter, “I bring you Peeking Duck.”

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After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him — and got a woman.

“Is Mike there?” I asked.

“He’s in the shower,” she responded.

“Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up.

When he didn’t return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. “This is Mike,” he said.

“You’re not my boyfriend!” I exclaimed.

“I know,” he replied. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour.”

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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “The guy was your doctor…”

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At a wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. The bride’s grandparents took the honors.

The DJ asked them: “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”

The grandma said: “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'”

Everyone then looked at the grandpa for his answer. He, wisely answered: “She’s probably right.”

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AS A SMALL CHILD, I remember my father, a Navy officer, taking our family to the piers. “Look at all the pretty boats, Daddy!” I exclaimed.

“Ships, Tara,” he corrected me. “These are ships, not boats!”

Through the years, I’d tease my father with the same comment, and he’d always reply, “Ships, Tara, ships!” Eventually, I married a new ensign who faced a year of training before he was assigned to a fast-attached submarine. One day, when he strolled up our front walk with a grin, I knew he had received his first orders.

“So to what ship are you assigned?” I asked.

His smile turned quickly into a frown. “Boat, Tara!” he said. “Submarines are boats!”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is Wren Day? On this holiday there is a “hunt” for a fake wren and it is put on top of a decorated pole. Then the crowds of mummers, or strawboys, celebrate the wren by dressing up in masks, straw suits, and colorful motley clothing. They form music bands and parade through towns and villages. These crowds are sometimes called wrenboys.

~ How did Wren Day start? There are different theories on how Wren Day started. In Celtic mythology the wren was a symbol of the past year and is associated with druidic rituals.

The most common explanation of Wren Day in Ireland is that God wished to know who was kind of all birds and set a challenge. The bird who flew highest and furthest would win. The birds all began together but they dropped out one by one until none were left but the great eagle. The eagle eventually grew tired and began to drop lower in the sky. At this point, the treacherous wren emerged from beneath the eagle’s wing to soar higher and further than all the others.

~ What is Boxing Day? This holiday is a centuries’ old gift-giving day that originated in Britain.

~ When did Boxing Day get started? The first written record of the custom dates from 1663. In a diary entry English Parliamentarian Samuel Pepys writes that he sent a coach and messenger to his shoemaker to deliver “something to the boys’ box against Christmas” in addition to funds to cover his bill.

~ What started Boxing Day? It came about because servants, who would have to wait on their masters on Christmas Day, were allowed to visit their families the next day and employers would give them boxes to take home containing gifts, bonuses and, sometimes, leftover food.

~ How was the church involved in Boxing Day? During the Victorian era (1837–1901, the period of Queen Victoria’s reign), Boxing Day was the occasion for church parishioners to deposit donations into a box that was put out for the purpose by the clergyman.

~ Where would you find Dungeons and Dragons? Dungeons & Dragons (abbreviated as D&D or DnD) is a fantasy tabletop roleplaying game (RPG) currently published by Wizards of the Coast. The original Dungeons & Dragons, designed by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, was first published in 1974 by Gygax’s company, Tactical Studies Rules (TSR). Originally derived from tabletop games played with paper, pencil, and dice; D&D’s publication is widely regarded as the beginning of modern roleplaying games, and by extension, the entire roleplaying game (RPG) & MMORPG industry.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. – George Burns

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . A life without cause is a life without effect. – Barbarella

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