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December 4th

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


338th day of the year (339th in leap years) with 27 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Cookie Day
~ National Dice Day
~ National Sock Day
~ Santas’ List Day (are you on the “Naughty” or “Nice” list?)
~ Wear Brown Shoes Day
~ World Wildlife Conservation Day


  • 1585 John Cotton, English-born American Puritan leader (wrote Milk for Babies, the first children’s book by an American, plus numerous sermons & other works)
  • 1912 Gregory “Pappy” Boyington, Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, pilot (U.S. Marine & fighter Ace during WWII, commanding The Black Sheep Squadron)
  • 1936 Bernie McInerney, Wilmington, Delaware, actor (One Life to Live, Another World, Dan in Real Life, Law & Order)
  • 1944 Dennis Wilson, Marina del Rey, California, singer-songwriter, producer, and drummer (The Beach Boys)
  • 1945 Roberta Bondar, Canadian neurologist, academic, and astronaut (STS-42)
  • 1949 Jeff Bridges, Los Angeles, California, actor (Sea Hunt, Tron, Iron Man, The Contender, Starman, The Fisher King, Seabiscuit, Crazy Heart, True Grit, The Giver, Only the Brave)
  • 1964 Jonathan Goldstein, Manhattan, New York, actor (Body of Influence, Drake & Josh, Teacher of the Year, Suspense)
  • 1964 Marisa Tomei, Brooklyn, New York, actress (As The World Turns, A Different World, My Cousin Vinny, What Women Want, Wild Hogs, The Wrestler, Love is Strange, Empire, Dark was the Night)
  • 1970 Kevin Sussman, Staten Island, New York, actor (Ugly Betty, The Big Bang Theory, Sweet Home Alabama, A.I.)
  • 1987 Orlando Brown, Los Angeles, California, American actor (Major Payne, Waynehead, Family Matters, Safe Harbor, Filmore!, The Proud Family, That’s So Raven, American Bad Boy)

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. – Robert Frost


  • 1619 38 colonists from Berkeley Parish in England disembark in Virginia and give thanks to God (this is considered by many to be the first Thanksgiving in the Americas).
  • 1791 The first edition of The Observer, the world’s first Sunday newspaper, is published.
  • 1867 Former Minnesota farmer Oliver Hudson Kelley founds the Order of the Patrons of Husbandry (better known today as The Grange).
  • 1872 The crewless American ship Mary Celeste is found by the British brig Dei Gratia (the ship had been abandoned for nine days but was only slightly damaged).
  • 1881 The first edition of the Los Angeles Times is published.
  • 1909 The Montreal Canadians ice hockey club, the oldest professional hockey franchise in the world, is founded as a charter member of the National Hockey Association.
  • 1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sails for the World War I peace talks in Versailles, becoming the first US president to travel to Europe while in office.
  • 1954 The first Burger King is opened in Miami, Florida, United States
  • 1991 Captain Mark Pyle pilots Clipper Goodwill, a Pan American World Airways Boeing 727-221ADV, to Miami International Airport ending 64 years of Pan Am operations.
  • 1998 The Unity Module, the second module of the International Space Station, is launched.
  • 2005 Tens of thousands of people in Hong Kong protest for democracy and call on the Government to allow universal and equal suffrage.
  • 2006 An adult giant squid is caught on video for the first time by Tsunemi Kubodera near the Ogasawara Islands, 1,000 km (620 mi) south of Tokyo.


On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed “Deepest Sympathy”.
While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card.
“Oh, it’s alright.” said the storekeeper. “I’m a businessman and I understand how these things can happen.”

“But,” added the florist, “I accidentally sent your card to a funeral party.”
“Well, what did it say?” ask the storekeeper.
“‘Congratulations on your new location’.” was the reply.

A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:

“We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.

“They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.

“They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim.

“At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.

“My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can’t get past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it potluck.

“My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.”



~A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
~A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
~A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

~A closed mouth gathers no foot.
~A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
~A day without sunshine is like, night.
~A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hades in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

A diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but the other guy had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went down another 20 feet, but the guy joined him a few minutes later.
The diver went down another 25 feet, but sure enough, the same guy was right behind him.
The diver took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote: “How are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?”
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote: “I’M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!”

“Mom, Is it all right to say you are going to water the horse when you’re about to give him a drink of water?”
“Yes, that is the correct thing to say.”
“Well then, I’m going to milk the cat.”

pic of the day: It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…


Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost,” so they laid off the night watchman.

A US Army private filling out a questionnaire for a correspondence course was stymied by the question, “How long has your present employer been in business?” He thought for a moment, and then wrote, “Since 1776.”

Lawyers and computers . . .
Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.


~I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
~I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
~Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

~There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’
~I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
~It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
~I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

The night before she was to attend a celebrity golf tournament, my friend Irene went to a party in honor of the event. Several of the famous athletes who were playing in the tournament were at the door greeting guests. Among them was Joe Montana, the pro football Hall of Fame quarterback and Super Bowl winner. Shaking my friend’s hand, he said, “Hi! Joe Montana.”
She didn’t know Joe Montana from Joe Six-Pack, so in all sincerity she extended her hand and said, “Irene. Minnesota.”

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. As she waited for her friend, she decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.”

The husband texted back to her:
“I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he had bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage.

A police spokesperson said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome’s sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

Two snowmen talking: “Looks like you put on a little weight over the holidays.”
“Yeah, but it’s mostly water.”

Our Bible class teacher in asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert.
“The Lord heard you when you wailed, ‘If only we had meat to eat!'” she began. “Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month — until you loathe it.”
When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, “Hey, isn’t that the Atkins diet?”

TODAY’S TRIVIA: What does National Sock Day celebrate? This holiday recognizes the rarest of all lasting unities, the marriage of matched socks. When they manage, wash after wash, dry after to dry to keep finding each other through all the chaos, a celebration is certainly in order!

~ How old is the world’s oldest flute? Scientists have discovered the oldest playable musical instrument in the world. It’s a flute carved from a bird’s wing bone more than 9,000 years ago. The flute was discovered with other flutes at an ancient burial site in China.

~ How did the moonstone get its name? Moonstones are so named because they have a soft, luminous glow much like moonlight. The Greeks believed that the stones became brighter or dimmer with the phases of the moon. A moonstone was also believed to be a powerful good luck charm, and wearing one was considered a guarantee of success in a precarious endeavor.

~ Was the U.S. the first country to give women the right to vote? No, it wasn’t. There are fifteen nations that gave women the right to vote before the United States did in 1920. The earliest were New Zealand, in 1893, Australia, in 1902, and Finland, in 1906.
QUIP OF THE DAY: Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go – Oscar Wilde


Thought for the day. . . Each of us has a fire in our hearts for something, find it and keep it lit! – Mary Lou Retton

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