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February 10th

We all have dreams, but in order to make dreams come into reality it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort. – Jesse Owens


TODAY – FEBRUARY 10th

41st day of the year with 324 days (325 in leap years) to follow.

Holidays for Today:

~ National Cream Cheese Brownie Day
~ National Home Warranty Day
~ National Umbrella Day
~ Berry Fresh Month
~ Black History Month
~ National Children’s Dental Health Month
~ National Grapefruit Month
~ National Snack Food Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1890 Boris Pasternak, Russian poet, author (Nobel, Dr. Zhivago)
  • 1893 Jimmy Durante, Brooklyn, New York, actor/comedian
  • 1897 Dame Judith Anderson, Australian actress (The Ten Commandments, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, A Man Called Horse, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock)
  • 1897 John Franklin Enders, West Hartford, Connecticut, medical scientist / Father of Modern Vaccines (Nobel Prize / poliomyelitis viruses grown in cultures)
  • 1902 Walter Houser Brattain, Amoy, China, American physicist (Nobel / co-invented the transistor)
  • 1906 Lon Chaney Jr., Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, actor (The Wolfman)
  • 1930 Robert Wagner, Detroit, Michigan, actor (It Takes A Thief, Switch, Hart to Hart)
  • 1937 Roberta Flack, Black Mountain, North Carolina, singer (First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Killing Me Softly with His Song
  • 1944 Frances Moore Lappe, Pendleton, Oregon, writer and activist (Diet for a Small Planet)
  • 1950 Mark Spitz, Modesto, California, swimmer (7 gold medals 1972 Munich Olympics)
  • 1958 Michael David Weiss, Dallas, Texas, jazz pianist and composer
  • 1961 George Stephanopoulos, Fall River, Massachusetts, political commentator
  • 1964 Glenn Beck, Everett, Washington, radio and television host (Fox News)
  • 1967 Laura Dern, Los Angeles, California, actress, director (Rambling Rose, Jurassic Park, Recount)
  • 1968 Garrett Reisman, Morristown, New Jersey, NASA astronaut (STS-123, Expedition 16, Expedition 17, STS-124, STS-132)
  • 1974 Elizabeth Banks, Pittsfield, Massachusetts, actress (Seabiscuit, Scrubs, Spiderman, The Next Three Days, The Hunger Games, The Lego Movie)
  • 1991 Emma Roberts, Rhinebeck, New York, actress / singer (Unfabulous, Wild Child, The Winning Season, Scream 4, American Horror Story, Scream Queens)
  • 1997 Chloë Grace Moretz, Atlanta, Georgia, actress (The Amityville Horror, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Hugo, Dark Shadows, Carrie, My Friends Tigger & Pooh, The Equalizer)

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“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1763 The 1763 Treaty of Paris ends the French and Indian War; France cedes Quebec to Great Britain.
  • 1862 American Civil War: A Union naval flotilla destroys the bulk of the Confederate Mosquito Fleet in the Battle of Elizabeth City on the Pasquotank River in North Carolina.
  • 1863 The fire extinguisher is patented.
  • 1870 The YWCA is founded in New York City.
  • 1923 Texas Tech University is founded as Texas Technological College in Lubbock, Texas.
  • 1931 New Delhi becomes the capital of India.
  • 1933 The New York City-based Postal Telegraph Company introduces the first singing telegram.
  • 1954 President Dwight Eisenhower warns against United States intervention in Vietnam.
  • 1962 Captured American U2 spy-plane pilot Gary Powers is exchanged for captured Soviet spy Rudolf Abel.
  • 1967 The 25th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified (deals with succession to the Presidency and establishes procedures both for filling a vacancy in the office of the Vice President, as well as responding to Presidential disabilities).
  • 1996 The IBM supercomputer Deep Blue defeats Garry Kasparov for the first time.
  • 2005 North Korea announces that it possesses nuclear weapons.
  • 2009 The communication satellites Iridium 33 and Kosmos-2251 collide in orbit, destroying both.

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Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor- survival lore.

One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve tried the usual tactics to determine direction; moss on the trees (there was no moss), the direction of the sun (it was an overcast day).

Just as his wife was beginning to panic, Steve spotted a small cabin off in the distance. He pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, then turned and led his wife right back to their camp.

“That was terrific,” she said, impressed. “How did you do it?”

“Simple,” he replied. “In this part of the country, all TV satellite dishes point south.”

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Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while setting it up so we called the customer support phone number we found in the manual.
I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him.
He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused us even more.
“Sir,” I said politely, “Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?”
“Okay,” the computer support guy said, “Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?”

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ONE-LINERS: TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE IN FOR A LONG SERMON

10. There’s a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra CDs on hand to record today’s sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon. . .
1. The minister says, “You’ll be out in time to watch the Super Bowl” but it’s only September!

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Want to impress me with your “miracle makeup?” Don’t show me some 20-year-old supermodel after three hours of professional makeup artists working on her; show a woman like me at 3 AM carting around a vomiting baby. Make HER look good and not only will I buy your makeup, I’ll buy stock in your company.

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Sam was a 4-year-old who loved candy as much as his mom did. Sam’s dad gave Sam’s mom a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. The box was heart-shaped and filled with tons of various chocolates. After a few days had passed, Sam went to the box and reached out to touch one of the pieces of chocolate. Sam’s mom said, “Now Sam, you know that if you touch it you have to eat it.”

Sam then reached out and tenderly patted the top of every piece of candy with his little hand. He then turned to his mother and said, “Well, now I guess I have to eat them all.”

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pic of the day: Wishful Thinking On A Winter Day

seagulls flying over beach
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A trusted aid was counseling the senator, “Some of your constituents are beginning to disagree with you.”

The senator replied, “Keep tabs on them. When enough disagree with me to constitute a reliable majority, I’ll turn around and agree with them.”
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went in to to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten.”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. ”

The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.” So, KAZAM! she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.”

The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.” So, KAZAM! she’s the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

ADDITIONAL:
But wait! There’s more…

The man actually had a heart attack ten times MILDER than his wife. Duh.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~Those that get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

~When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

~If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

~When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

~Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

~Acupuncture: a jab well done.

~Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

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While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child’s voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child’s words. When I spotted a boy perched on a rock, I realized why his words had made no sense: He was repeating the alphabet.

“Why are you saying your ABC’s so many times?” I asked him.

The child replied, “I’m saying my prayers.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Prayers? All I hear is the alphabet.”

Patiently the child explained, “Well, I don’t know all the words, so I give God the letters. He knows what I’m trying to say.”

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The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn’t bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: “Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it.”

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A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost one hundred dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee.

“Hoot mon,” he said, “in Scotland it wouldna ha been more than $20.”

“That might be true,” said the travel agent, “but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord Himself walked.”

“Well, at $100 an hour for a boat,” said the Scotsman, “it’s no wonder He walked.”
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Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes, but upon arrival at the correctional facility, he told the warden he wasn’t at all worried about his future. He knew he wouldn’t have to serve the full term of his penalty.
“Why’s that, Jimmy?” the warden asked. “Sure of your appeal, are you?”
“No, sir.” Jimmy replied.
“Already making plans to escape, then?”
“Not a one, Warden.”
“Then why are you so sure you’ll be out of here before your time is up?”
“Well, Warden,” says Jimmy, “it’s like this. In the entire time I’ve been married, my wife has yet to let me finish a sentence!”

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Following an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother, eight noisy and shoving siblings, and I arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany. “Do you have any weapons or illegal drugs in your possession?” the customs agent asked my weary mother.
“Sir,” she said while separating my brother and me, “if I had either of those items, I would have used them by now.” – Jim Risdal

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TODAY’S TRIVIA: Who was the youngest officer to become a general? George Custer, a West Point graduate, was the youngest U.S. Army officer ever to become a general. He made his rank at age 23, 14 years before the battle of Little Big Horn.

~ What’s the difference between Grade A and AA eggs?
Grade AA eggs are not larger or better than Grade A eggs: the grade merely refers to how long ago the eggs were laid. Grade A means the eggs were packed within the last 30 days and Grade AA eggs were packed in that last ten days.

~ When did the Alamo become a fortress?
In 1803, the abandoned compound was occupied by the Second Flying Company of San Carlos de Parras, a company of Spanish soldiers from Álamo de Parras. The building was occupied by Mexican forces almost continuously until December 1835, when it was surrendered to Texan forces by General Martín Perfecto de Cos during the Texas Revolution.

~ How hungry are termites?
A mature, well-established termite colony with as many as 60,000 members will eat only about one-fifth of an ounce of wood a day.

~ Can a cow add iron to your diet?
Turkana tribesmen, who live on the barren soils of the Great Rift Valley in Kenya, add iron to their diet by drinking cow’s blood – they puncture the cow’s jugular vein with a sharp arrow and catch the spurting liquid in a clay jug. The cows, though bled frequently, suffer no ill effect.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Sometimes a noble failure serves the world as faithfully as a distinguished success. – Edward Dowden

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