People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. – Abigail Van Buren
TODAY – FEBRUARY 1st
32nd day of the year with 333 days to follow (334 in leap years).
Holidays for Today:
~ National Baked Alaska Day
~ National Freedom Day
~ National Bird-Feeding Month (United States)
~ Black History Month (United States and Canada)
~ Robinson Crusoe Day
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1901 Clark Gable, Cadiz, Ohio, actor (Gone With The Wind)
- 1937 Don Everly, Brownie, Kentucky, musician (Everly Brothers)
- 1940 Bibi Besch, Vienna, Austria, actress (Dr. Carol Marcus/Star Trek 2; The Beast Within, Tremors)
- 1941 Jerry Spinelli, Norristown, Pennsylvania, author of children’s novels (Maniac Magee, Wringer)
- 1961 Daniel Tani, Ridley Park, Pennsylvania, NASA astronaut (100th spacewalk on the International Space Station; STS-108, STS-120, Expedition 16, STS-122)
- 1967 Meg Cabot, Bloomington, Indiana, author (Series: The Princess Diaries, Mediator, Avalon High, Abandon, Queen of Babble)
- 1968 Lisa Marie Presley, Memphis, Tennessee, singer and actress
- 1969 Brian Krause, El Toro, California, actor (Sleepwalkers, Charmed, Turn Back Time, Uploaded)
- 1971 Michael C. Hall, Raleigh, North Carolina, actor (Six Feet Under, Dexter)
- 1979 Rachelle LeFevre, Canadian actress (Twilight, Off the Map, A Gifted Man, Under the Dome)
- 1985 Rachael Scdoris, Bend, Oregon, dog musher and cross country runner (1st legally blind person to compete in Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race)
- 1987 Ronda Rousey, Riverside, California, mixed martial artist (#1 female bantamweight fighter in the world, 1st U.S. woman to win Olympic medal in judo); and actress (The Expendables 3, Furious 7)
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. – Dalai Lama
- 1790 Supreme Court convenes for the first time in New York City.
- 1865 President Abraham Lincoln signs the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution.
- 1920 The Royal Canadian Mounted Police begins operations.
1951 The TV station KTLA made the first public broadcast of an atomic blast on television. The event was captured by an NBC camera on Mount Wilson, 300 miles away from the test blast at Frenchman Flats, Nevada.
1972 First scientific hand-held calculator was introduced for $395 by Hewlett- Packard.
- 1979 Convicted bank robber Patty Hearst is released from prison after her sentence was commuted by President Jimmy Carter.
- 1992 The Chief Judicial Magistrate of Bhopal court declares Warren Anderson, ex-CEO of Union Carbide, a fugitive under Indian law for failing to appear in the Bhopal Disaster case.
- 2003 Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates during reentry into the Earth’s atmosphere, killing all seven astronauts aboard.
The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: “You do not want to try these techniques at home!”
“Why not?” asked a man from the audience.
“After years of not paying attention, I suddenly noticed my wife’s routine at breakfast,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets; often she carried just a single item at a time. So I asked her, ‘Hon, why don’t you try carrying several things at once? It’d be much more efficient.'”
“Well, did your suggestions save much time?” the attendee asked.
“Actually, yes,” the efficiency expert responded. “It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.”
A groom wanted to surprise his bride on their wedding day so he arranged with the bakery to have a Bible verse inscribed on the cake.
He chose 1 John 4:18, which reads: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”.
But the baker, not being familiar with the Bible, got the verse wrong and on the day of his wedding the groom was surprised to find the cake inscribed with John 4:18, which read: “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.”
ONE-LINERS: Critics’ Choice
Choice Excerpts from reviews of less-than-choice plays
* He played Hamlet. Hamlet lost.
* One review of “I am camera”: Me no Leica.
* He lacks only two things to get to the top: Talent and ambition.
* One wrong thing with the play is that the seats faced the stage.
* It was a moving performance. Everybody moved out of the theater.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”
pic of the day: Red Coral
photo by Géry PARENT
PUN ZONE NEW BOOK RELEASES:
~ “How to Write Big Books” by Warren Peace
~ “The Lion Attacked” by Claude Yarmoff
~ “The Art of Archery” by Beau N. Arrow
~ “Songs for Children” by Barbara Blacksheep
~ “Irish Heart Surgery” by Angie O’Plasty
~ “Desert Crossing” by I. Rhoda Camel
~ “School Truancy” by Marcus Absent
~ “I Was a Cloakroom Attendant” by Mahatma Coate
~ “I Lost My Balance” by Eileen Dover and Phil Down
~ “Mystery in the Barnyard” by Hu Flung Dung
~ “Positive Reinforcement” by Wade Ago
~ “Shhh!” by Danielle Soloud
~ “The Philippine Post Office” by Imelda Letter
~ “Things to Do at a Party” by Bob Frapples
~ “Stop Arguing” by Xavier Breath
At a former job on Boss’s Day, workers got together and bought a beautiful small, engraved plaque telling me they appreciated my leadership. At the bottom of the plaque was engraved a scripture reference. I went to the Bible Gateway to look it up.
What they intended was 1 Thessalonians 1:3, “We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”
What the engraver put instead was 1 Thessalonians 3:1, which reads “So when we could stand it no longer, we thought it best to be left by ourselves in Athens.”
My assistant heard me laughing and I told her what it said. A few minutes later the red-faced manager who had ordered the plaque came to retrieve it. It was fixed the same day.
Ten common fishing expressions explained
1) Catch and Release: This is a conservation term that happens right before the local Fish and Game Protection Officer stops your boat when you have caught over the limit.
2) Hook: (i) A small curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (ii) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (iii) The punch administered by said fisherman’s wife after he spends their life savings [see also, right hook, left hook].
3) Line: Something you give your colleagues when they ask on Monday how your fishing went over the weekend.
4) Lure: An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
5) Reel: A weighty object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
6) Rod: An attractively painted length of fibreglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
7) School: A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your £15.99 [$USD30] lures and hold out for bread instead.
8) Tackle: What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
9) Tackle Box: A box shaped amazingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get an elastoplasts [band aid], you soon find that you need more than one.
10) Test: (i) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (ii) A measure of your creativity in blaming ‘that flippin’ line’ for once again losing the fish.
A farmer asked the vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn’t doing well at all.
After checking the bull’s vital signs, the vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a rather large pill. He forced open the bull’s mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet. Suddenly the bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence in his way.
The vet exclaimed, “Well, looks like your bull is healed!”
The farmer replied, “Now give me one of those pills. I’ve gotta catch him!”
Answers to the husband’s question, “What’s wrong?”
If the wife says, “Same old, same old.”
Then the wife means: Nothing.
If the wife says: “Nothing.”
Then the wife means: Everything.
If the wife says: “Nothing, really.”
Then the wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.
If the wife says: “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Then the wife means: I’m still building up steam.
TODAY IN TRIVIA : Why is February 1st celebrated as Robinson Crusoe Day? It’s not the author’s birthday, or even the birthday of the fictional character of Robinson Crusoe. It’s actually the date of the 1709 rescue of Scottish castaway Alexander Selkirk, who lived for four years on a Pacific Island off the coast of Chile and is believed to be the inspiration for the book, “Robinson Crusoe.”
~ What do red coral and Medusa have to do with each other? It all has to do with the legend of the death of Medusa at the hands of Perseus. After Medusa’s death, Perseus put her severed head in a bag and was preparing to journey home. As he rested beside the sea, he put the sack on a bed of seaweed and brushwood near the sea. Medusa’s blood and power leaked through the bag and turned the seaweed and brushwood into stone, which was then carried to the ocean floor by sea nymphs. There is became the first coral beds.
~ Other names for Red Coral: Because of the above legend, the Greeks called red coral Medusa’s blood and the ocean’s Tree of Life. It is also known as Precious Coral, and the scientific name is Corallium rubrum for several related species of marine coral. The distinguishing characteristic of precious corals is their durable and intensely colored red or pink skeleton, which is used for making jewelry.
~ Where is red coral found? Red coral grows on a rocky sea bottom with low sedimentation, typically in dark environments—either in the depths or in dark caverns or crevices.
Video of Red Coral in the sea…
~ How is red coral used? Ancient Romans gave red coral to their children as protection from danger, evil curses, and disease. To other ancient people groups, red coral symbolized life and blood force, offering hope to those plagued by violent madness or deep depression. Red coral was used as a fertility charm, believed to restore reproductive health.
In China, coral represents longevity, and in India it is believed to prevent hemorrhages. In many Old World cultures, red coral is believed to strengthen the blood. Ancient Egyptians believed that red coral contained traces of divine blood, energizing and granting wisdom to all who wore it. Ancient Greeks relied on red coral to bring them happiness and immortality, driving away illness and adversity. Tibetan Buddhists and Native Americans associate red coral with creativity, passion, wisdom, enthusiasm, and romantic love.
Modern crystal healers lean on coral to provide strength to one’s emotional core. Coral is said to promote inner peace, diplomacy, and stability. It is said to enhance wisdom and reduce stress and fear. (EraGem)
QUIP OF THE DAY: Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . The ideals which have always shown before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty and truth. – Albert Einstein