Pages Menu
Categories Menu

January 16th

There is not one wise man in twenty that will praise himself. – William Shakespeare


TODAY – JANUARY 16th

16th day of the year with 349 days to follow (350 in leap years).

Holidays for Today:
~ Appreciate A Dragon Day
~ International Hot and Spicy Food Day
~ National Fig Newton Day
~ National Nothing Day
~ National Religious Freedom Day (commemorates the Virginia General Assembly’s adoption of Thomas Jefferson’s landmark Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom on January 16, 1786. That statute became the basis for the establishment clause of the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment, and led to freedom of religion for all Americans.)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1901 Frank Zamboni, Eureka, Utah, inventor (modern ice resurfacer)
  • 1908 Ethel Merman, Queens, New York, actress and singer (I Got Rhythm, Anything Goes, There’s No Business Like Show Business)
  • 1910 Dizzy Dean, Lucas, Arkansas, baseball player (National League pitcher: won 30 games in one season, sports commentator)
  • 1917 Carl Karcher, Upper Sandusky, Ohio, founded the Carl’s Jr. hamburger chain
  • 1923 Anthony Hecht, New York City, New York, poet (one of the inventors of double dactyl, a form of light verse)
  • 1932 Dian Fossey, San Francisco, California, zoologist (studied gorilla groups for 18 years in Rwanda)
  • 1935 A.J. Foyt, Houston, Texas, race car driver and team owner
  • 1944 Jim Stafford, Eloise, Florida, singer and songwriter (comedy song like Spiders & Snakes, Mississippi Squirrel)
  • 1946 Ronnie Milsap, Robbinsville, North Carolina, singer and songwriter (country music, 6 Grammy awards and 40 #1 country hits)
  • 1952 L. Blaine Hammond, Savannah, Georgia, NASA astronaut (pilot of Discovery for STS-39, STS-64)
  • 1955 Jerry M. Linenger, East Detroit, Michigan,NASA astronaut / medical doctor (STS-64, STS-81, Mir, STS-84)
  • 1962 Denis O’Hare, Kansas City, Missouri, Irish-American actor (Sweet Charity, True Blood, Charlie Wilson’s War, The Good Wife, American Horror Story, Novitiate)
  • 1972 Richard T. Jones, Kobe, Japan, American actor (What’s Love Got To Do With It, Event Horizon, Judging Amy, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Godzilla, Narcos, Wisdom of the Crowd)
  • 1989 Yvonne Zima, Phillipsburg, New Jersey, actress (ER, The Young and the Restless, Iron Man 3, The Last Light, The Monster Project)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. – Confucius
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 27 BC Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus is granted the title Augustus by the Roman Senate, marking the beginning of the Roman Empire.
  • 1786 The Commonwealth of Virginia enacted the Statute for Religious Freedom authored by Thomas Jefferson.
  • 1883 The Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act, establishing the United States Civil Service, is passed.
  • 1909 Ernest Shackleton’s expedition finds the magnetic South Pole.
  • 1919 Temperance movement: The United States ratifies the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, authorizing Prohibition in the United States one year after ratification.
  • 1969 Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 4 and Soyuz 5 perform the first-ever docking of manned spacecraft in orbit, the first-ever transfer of crew from one space vehicle to another, and the only time such a transfer was accomplished with a space walk.
  • 1970 Buckminster Fuller receives the Gold Medal award from the American Institute of Architects.
  • 2001 US President Bill Clinton awards former President Theodore Roosevelt a posthumous Medal of Honor for his service in the Spanish-American War.
  • 2003 Space Shuttle Columbia takes off for what would be its final mission (STS-107) as it disintegrated on re-entry 16 days later.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

This guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: “How much is the coffee?”

“Coffee is three dollars,” the waitress said.
“How much is a refill?” the man asked.

“Free!” said the waitress.
“Then I’ll take a refill.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

GOLDEN OLDIE… An atheist professor was teaching a college class at Alabama and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!” Ten minutes went by.

He kept taunting God, saying, “Here I am, God. I’m still waiting.” He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240 pound football player in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, “What’s the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The football player replied, “God was busy so he sent me.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: THE PROCRASTINATOR’S CREED
Are you a procrastinator? You’re not alone. There are so many of us we even have a creed.

~ I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
~ I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
~ I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

~ If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
~ I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable, regardless of the amount of time given.
~ I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

~ I will never put off until tomorrow what I can forget about forever.
~ I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
~ I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

~ I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two- Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk.

“People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears,” one says, “but we have no one to go to with our own problems.”
“Since we’re all professionals,” another suggests, “why don’t we hear each other out right now?”

They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, “I’m a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually over bill my patients as often as I can.”

The second admits, “I have a drug problem that’s out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me.”

The third psychiatrist says, “I know it’s wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t keep a secret.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The president of a large corporation opened his directors meeting by announcing, “All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply by saying, ‘I resign’.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Appreciate A Dragon Day

dragon on flower
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A tour guide was talking with a group of school kids at Yellowstone park when one of the kids asked him if he had ever came face-to-face with a wolf.

“Yes, I came face to face with a wolf once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a weapon.”

“What did you do?” the little girl asked.

“What could I do? First, I tried looking him straight in the eyes but he slowly came toward me. I moved back, but he kept coming nearer and nearer. I had to think fast.”

“How did you get away?”

“As a last resort, I just turned around and walked quickly to the next cage.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! STAR WARS PUNS!

Q: What did Obi-Wan say at the Chinese restaurant?
A: “Use the fork, Luke.”

Q: Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?
A: To get to the Dark Side

Q: How is Duct Tape like the Force?
A: It has a dark side and a light side and it binds the universe together.

Q: What do you call potatoes that have turned to the Dark side?
A: Vader Tots.

Q: What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?
A: A Sithy.

Q: What do you call five Siths piled on top of a light saber?
A: Sith-Kabob
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*


.
Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close of the morning service. After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.

‘Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?’ Father Henry requested.

Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had.

Nancy’s mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, “It’s true, Mom.

“Think of something to ask it.” As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy’s mother thought a minute, then responded, “How is Aunt Helen feeling?”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub. Paddy says to Seamus, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”

Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, “You are wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”

Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him. “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?”

The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, “You know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the waiter with typical New York charm. “I can only serve one table at a time.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Where does the Komodo Dragon live? The Komodo dragon, also known as the Komodo monitor, is the world’s largest lizard and can be found in the Indonesian islands of Komodo, Rinca, Flores, Gili Motang, and Padar. It is the largest living species of lizard known, with males reaching up to 200-pounds weight and up to 10-feet long.

~ What is the name of the dragon that lives in Honalee? Puff, the Magic Dragon, lives in Honalee. This song was made famous by Peter, Paul & Mary, and is based on a 1959 poem by Leonard Lipton, then a 19-year-old Cornell University student.

~ Which author created genetically-engineered dragons to help humans fight off the extraplanetary threat of Thread? Anne McCaffrey in her widely beloved Pern series has genetically engineered dragons that bond telepathically with their riders and fight off the menace of Thread (thin silver filaments of a space-borne mycorrhizoid spore that periodically fell from the sky and devoured all organic matter that it touched).

~ What did they call the throne in Imperial China? The seat of power of was referred to as “The Dragon Throne”. This is because members of the Imperial Dynasty of China were believed to be descendants of a dragon, claiming their divinity from Emperor Gaozu of Han, who according to the legend, was the son of a peasant woman and a dragon. Additionally, each succeeding ruler would relate himself to a dragon, and it became the symbol of the Emperor, while the Dragon Throne represented his power and authority.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time – Charles M. Schulz

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . We should be careful and discriminating in all the advice we give. We should be especially careful in giving advice that we would not think of following ourselves. Most of all, we ought to avoid giving counsel which we don’t follow when it damages those who take us at our word. – Adlai Stevenson

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.