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January 21st

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle


TODAY – JANUARY 21st

21st day of the year with 344 days to follow (345 in leap years).
Spring begins in 58 days.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Granola Bar Day
~ National Hugging Day
~ National New England Clam Chowder Day
~ National Squirrel Appreciation Day
~ Be Kind to Food Servers Month
~ Get Organized Month
~ Hot Tea Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1824 Thomas Jonathan “Stonewall” Jackson, Clarksburg, Virginia (now West Virginia), Confederate general (considered one of the best tactical commanders in U.S. history)
  • 1905 Christian Dior, French fashion designer
  • 1905 Karl Wallenda, German acrobat (founder of The Flying Wallendas, a daredevil circus act)
  • 1922 Telly Savalas, Garden City, New York, actor (Birdman of Alcatraz, Battle of the Bulge, The Dirty Dozen, On Her Majecsty’s Secret Service, Escape to Athena)
  • 1926 Steve Reeves, Glasgow, Montana, actor & bodybuilder (Athena, Hercules, The Trojan Horse, Duel of the Titans, The Avenger)
  • 1940 Jack Nicklaus (The Golden Bear), Upper Arlington, Ohio, pro golfer (73 victories on PGA Tour)
  • 1941 Plácido Domingo, Spanish tenor (known for strong and versatile voice, one of “The Three Tenors”)
  • 1947 Jill Eikenberry, New Haven, Connecticut, actress (Ann Kelsey in L.A. Law; Arthur, Destined to Live, Something Borrowed)
  • 1953 Paul Allen, Seattle, Washington, entrepreneur (co-founder of Microsoft)
  • 1956 Geena Davis, Wareham, Massachusetts, actress (Stuart Little, Beetlejuice, Thelma & Louise, The Accidental Tourist, Commander in Chief, Grey’s Anatomy)
  • 1969 M. K. Hobson, Riverside, California, author (The Native Star, The Hidden Goddess, The Warlock’s Curse)
  • 1985 Salvatore Giunta, Clinton, Iowa, former Army sergeant (first living person since the Vietnam War to receive the U.S. military’s highest decoration for valor, the Medal of Honor: saved lives of his squad in 2007 in Afghanistan)
  • 1997 Jeremy Shada, Boise, Idaho, actor (Adventure Time, Voltron)
  • 2001 Jackson Brundage, Los Angeles, California, actor (One Tree Hill, See Dad Run, Harvey Beaks)

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To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. – Mahatma Gandhi
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1789 The first American novel, The Power of Sympathy or the Triumph of Nature Founded in Truth, is printed in Boston, Massachusetts.
  • 1861 Jefferson Davis resigns from the United States Senate during the American Civil War.
  • 1908 New York City passes the Sullivan Ordinance, making it illegal for women to smoke in public, only to have the measure vetoed by the mayor.
  • 1911 The first Monte Carlo Rally takes place.
  • 1915 Kiwanis International is founded in Detroit, Michigan.
  • 1954 The first nuclear-powered submarine, the USS Nautilus, is launched in Groton, Connecticut by Mamie Eisenhower, then First Lady of the United States.
  • 1968 A B-52 bomber crashes near Thule Air Base, contaminating the area after its nuclear payload ruptures. One of the four bombs remains unaccounted for after the cleanup operation is complete.
  • 1977 President Jimmy Carter pardons nearly all American Vietnam War draft evaders, some of whom had emigrated to Canada.
  • 1997 Newt Gingrich becomes the first leader of the United States House of Representatives to be internally disciplined for ethical misconduct.
  • 1999 In one of the largest drug busts in American history, the United States Coast Guard intercepts a ship with over 4,300 kilograms (9,500 lb) of cocaine on board.
  • 2004 NASA’s MER-A (the Mars Rover Spirit) ceases communication with mission control. The problem lies in the management of its flash memory and is fixed remotely from Earth on February 6.
  • 2017 Over 400 cities across America and 160+ countries worldwide participate in a large-scale women’s march, on Donald Trump’s first full day as President of the United States.
  • 2018 Rocket Lab’s Electron becomes the first rocket to reach orbit using an electric pump-fed engine and deploys three CubeSats.

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An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, “You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day.”

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, “You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day.”

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers’ market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes a 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him. By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard. Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage.

The tomato company’s payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn’t have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, “What, you don’t have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you’d had all of that five years ago!”

“Ha!” snorts the man. “If I’d had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour.”

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ONE-LINERS: Top 10 FORBIDDEN Library Titles For Children

1) Gerbil merry-go round, and other great microwave games.
2) Fifty new places to poke a pencil.
3) The little girl who died from eating all her vegetables

4) Why washing clothes causes childhood allergies.
5) Children’s guide to hitch-hiking.
6) Flying lessons for kittens.

7) Toys that your neighbors are getting.
8) Where mothers hide treats.
9) Advanced screaming, crying and whining.
10) How to avoid washing daddy’s car.
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.

After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good, and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NOOO!”

Then silence.

The captain finally came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am SO sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”

A passenger in coach shouted, “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”
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Random Thoughts….

~ My “people skills” are just fine. It’s my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
~ Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence! Eat bacon!
~ The fact that there’s a “Highway to Hell” and only a “Stairway to Heaven” says a lot about anticipated traffic volumes.

~ So when is this “Old Enough To Know Better” supposed to kick in?
~ Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered … “Who ties your shoelaces for you?”
~ I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

~ I’m not lazy; I just *really* enjoy doing nothing.
~ I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.
~ When you’re dead, you don’t know you’re dead. It’s only difficult for others. It’s the same way when you’re stupid.

~ I never argue. I just explain why I’m right.
~ Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
~ Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental institution. Then I take a look around and realize … Maybe I already am.
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pic of the day: Squirrel Appreciation Day

squirrel and feeder
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad …”
“What?”

“I’m thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”

Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad …”
“WHAT?”

“I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??”
“I told you NO!” If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!”

Five minutes later: “Daaaa-aaaad …”
“WHAT!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?”
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I just NEED to vent…I have had enough!!! I’ll never help anyone again…EVER!!! I’m too kindhearted, or just stupid!

The other day it was so cold out that I took a man into my home out of the kindness of my heart. I felt so sorry for him. Poor thing looked about froze out there in the cold. Couldn’t even talk or move. But the next morning he had just vanished. Not a word…no goodbye or even a thank you for sheltering him! The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor! That’s the thanks I get for being good to people???

I want to warn my friends to watch out for this man! He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a hat and scarf, he has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Don’t bring him into your house!! He will make a huge mess on the floor and then disappear!
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Teacher: “Who said, ‘I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country?'”

Student: “Nathan Haley said it. The saying is now known as Haley’s Comment.”
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Some years ago an American tourist, ‘doing’ Europe, remarked to a fellow traveler on a bus in Stockholm, “You know, buddy, America is the most democratic country in the world. Ordinary citizens can go to the White House to see the President and discuss things with him”.

The man replied, “That’s nothing. In Sweden, the King and the people travel on the same bus”. The American laughed scornfully at this ludicrous claim. It was not until the Swede reached his destination and alighted from the bus that another traveler leaned over to inquire, “Did you enjoy sharing your seat with King Gustav Adolph VI?”
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My daughter wanted a violin for her fourth birthday. We were able to find one for her. She unwrapped the instrument with great pleasure, then tucked it under her tiny chin, serious and solemn. She slowly ran the bow across the strings, and there was a squeal of discord. She looked up at us in surprise. “Where’s the music?”
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Daughter: “Dad, when will I be old enough to go to the movies with a boy?”
Dad: “When you’re a year older than your brother.”

The daughter thought for a moment and replied: “But I’ll never be older than my brother, he was born first.”
Dad: “I guess there’s your answer. But don’t blame me, go talk to your brother.”
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Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington,DC.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you kin be so much bigger ‘n me. We’re the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” said the big ‘gator, What you been eatin’ boy?”
“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small ‘gator.

“Hmm. Well, where do y’all catch ’em?”
“Down ‘tother side of the swamp near the parkin’ lot by the capitol.”

“Same here. Hmm. How do you catch ’em?”
“Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab ’em on the leg, shake the manure out of ’em, and eat ’em!”

“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem. You ain’t gettin’ any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin’ the manure out of a Politician, there ain’t nothin’ left but the hind quarters and a briefcase.”
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Today’s Trivia: All about Squirrels!

~ There are more than 200 squirrel species worldwide, from tree squirrels and flying squirrels to chipmunks and marmots. They’re all in the Sciuridae family, which is native to every continent except Australia and Antarctica.

~ Tree squirrels are omnivores, though they mostly eat nuts, seeds and fruit. Gray squirrels, for example, have been known to eat insects, snails, bird eggs and animal carcasses when other food is scarce.

~ Tree squirrels don’t hibernate in winter, instead relying on caches of acorns and other nuts they buried earlier in the year. Squirrels are able to smell food under a foot of snow so they can dig a tunnel under the snow and follow the scent to find their buried treasure!

~ A squirrel’s four front teeth never stop growing, at a rate of about six inches per year. This is a common characteristic of other rodents, as well. The word “rodent” actually derives from the Latin “rodere,” which means to gnaw.

~ A drey is the nest of a tree squirrel or a flying squirrel. Dreys are usually built of twigs, dry leaves, and grass, and typically assembled in the forks of a tall tree. They are sometimes referred to as “drey nests” to distinguish them from squirrel “cavity nests” (also termed “dens”).
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QUIP OF THE DAY: I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. – Author Unknown

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