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January 28th

It is in his pleasure that a man really lives; it is from his leisure that he constructs the true fabric of self. – Agnes Repplier


TODAY – JANUARY 28th

28th day of the year with 337 days to follow (338 in leap years).

Holidays for Today:
~ Data Privacy Day
~ Fun at Work Day
~ National Blueberry Pancake Day
~ National Kazoo Day
~ Thank A Plugin Developer Day
~ National Hobby Month
~ National Soup Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1841 Henry Morton Stanley, Welsh-born explorer and journalist (explored Central Africa; searched for David Livingstone)
  • 1857 William Seward Burroughs I, Rochester, New York, inventor (“calculating machine” designed to ease the monotony of clerical work)
  • 1864 Charles W. Nash, Cortland, Illinois, automobile entrepreneur (co-founded Buick Motor Company)
  • 1864 Herbert Akroyd Stuart, Halifax Yorkshire, inventor (hot bulb engine, or heavy oil engine)
  • 1922 Robert W. Holley, Urbana, Illinois, biochemist (Nobel / first chemical synthesis of penicillin)
  • 1927 Vera B. Williams, Hollywood, California, children’s author (A Chair for My Mother, Scooter, Lucky Song)
  • 1936 Alan Alda, Bronx, New York, actor (M*A*S*H, The West Wing, The Longest Ride, Horace and Pete)
  • 1939 John M. Fabian, Goose Creek, Texas, NASA astronaut (STS-7, STS-51-G)
  • 1943 John Beck, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Mark Graison in Dallas; Rollerball, Sky Riders, Fire and Rain)
  • 1944 Susan Howard, Marshall, Texas, actress (Star Trek (1968 as 1st female Klingon), Petrocelli, Dallas)
  • 1954 Rick Warren, San Jose, California, pastor and author (The Purpose Driven Life, The Purpose Driven Church)
  • 1969 Kathryn Morris, Cincinnati, Ohio, actress (Cold Case, The Perfect Guy, Bone Tomahawk, Reverie)
  • 1977 Joey Fatone, Brooklyn, New York, singer (*NSYNC, 2007 2nd place on Dancing w/the Stars)
  • 1980 Nick Carter, Jamestown, New York, singer (Backstreet Boys, 2015 2nd place on Dancing w/the Stars)
  • 1981 Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, actor (Frodo Baggins in The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, TRON: Uprising, Wilfred, Over the Garden Wall, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency)

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I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer. – Real Live Preacher
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1813 Pride and Prejudice is first published in the United Kingdom.
  • 1855 A locomotive, on the Panama Railway, runs from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean for the first time.
  • 1878 Yale Daily News becomes the first daily college newspaper in the United States.
  • 1887 In a snowstorm at Fort Keogh, Montana, the world’s largest snowflakes are reported, 15 inches (38 cm) wide and 8 inches (20 cm) thick.
  • 1896 Walter Arnold of East Peckham, Kent became the first person to be convicted of speeding. He was fined 1 shilling, plus costs, for speeding at 8 mph (13 km/h), thus exceeding the contemporary speed limit of 2 mph (3.2 km/h).
  • 1902 The Carnegie Institution of Washington is founded in Washington, D.C. with a $10 million gift from Andrew Carnegie.
  • 1909 United States troops leave Cuba with the exception of Guantanamo Bay Naval Base after being there since the Spanish-American War.
  • 1915 An act of the U.S. Congress creates the United States Coast Guard.
  • 1958 The Lego company patents the design of its Lego bricks, still compatible with bricks produced today.
  • 1977 The first day of the Great Lakes Blizzard of 1977, which severely affects and cripples much of Upstate New York, but Buffalo, NY, Syracuse, NY, Watertown, NY, and surrounding areas are most affected, each area accumulating close to 10 feet (3.0 m) of snow on this one day.
  • 1985 Supergroup USA for Africa (United Support of Artists for Africa) records the hit single We Are the World, to help raise funds for Ethiopian famine relief.
  • 1986 Space Shuttle Challenger explodes after liftoff killing all seven astronauts on board.

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A mother cannibal is walking in the jungle with her daughter. They see a plane flying overhead.
Little girl cannibal asks: “Mommy, is that airplane up there good to eat?”

Mamma cannibal answers: “Just like a lobster, dear. Only what’s inside.”
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My three-year-old was helping me wrap a present for her father. While we were wrapping, I kept reminding my daughter about keeping the present a secret so it would be a surprise. After the present was wrapped, she proudly put it under the tree.
When my husband came home he saw the present immediately.

He asked Elizabeth, “What is it?”
“I can’t tell. It’s a surprise.”

“Can I shake it and guess what’s inside?”
“No, T-shirts don’t rattle.”
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Knock Knock! Who’s There?
Zeke.

Zeke who?
Zeke and you shall find…
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Random Quips…..

— We had pizza for Thanksgiving. We didn’t plan it that way, though. My wife bought a cage-free turkey and the darned thing wouldn’t stay in the oven.

— On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past, but never the present.

— Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

— The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers and have a sense of humor.

— A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

— Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark, while a large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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A pastor was having an awful time with his congregation and eventually decided to pack it in.

At the close of the next Sunday morning service he announced, “Some years ago Jesus brought me to this congregation. Jesus is now taking me away from it.”

With those remarks he sat down somewhat abruptly and it was left to the organist to announce the closing hymn. “How appropriate,” he commented, “that we sing hymn number 104 – ‘What a friend we have in Jesus.'”
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DRIVING STYLES

~ Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.
~ New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.
~ New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.

~ Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.
~ Los Angeles: One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap.
~ Toronto: Both hands clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in rear view mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high beams.

~ Seattle: One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game.
~ Ohio, but driving in L.A.: Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.
~ Italy: Both hands in air and gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to back seat passenger.

~ Texas: One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake, throwing a McDonald’s bag out the window.
~ West Virginia: Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna.
~ Florida: Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on.

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pic of the day: Red-Shouldered Hawk in Sanford, Florida

picture of red shouldered hawk
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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!”

“Hun,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
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SIGNS FOUND IN KITCHENS

~ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
~ If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.
~ A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.

~ Help keep the kitchen clean – eat out.
~ A clean kitchen is a sign of a misspent life.
~ Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

~ My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines.
~ Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Back in the 1800’s the Tate’s Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products. Since they already made the cases for watches they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California.

This, of course, is the origin of the expression: “He who has a Tate’s is lost.”

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As a Catholic, I’m partial to Notre Dame football. As a former Michigan resident, though, I also keep tabs on Michigan college football teams. One Saturday afternoon, a neighbor dropped in while I was watching Notre Dame play Michigan State.

“Which team do you want to win?” he asked.
“Gosh, I don’t know,” I replied. “I’m kind of torn between Church and State.”
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An airhead driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.”

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Walmart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to MdDonalds now?”
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A crafty old antique dealer is traveling through the rural back roads when he spots a priceless Chippendale cabinet in a junk shop. He knows he will make tens of thousands of pounds reselling it, if he can persuade the shop owner that it’s worthless.

He offers the man twenty pounds, explaining, “The only reason I’m interested is that I need some firewood, and that wood looks like it should burn well.” The price is agreed and the dealer explains that he’ll return the next day with his van to pick up the cabinet.

The following morning, the dealer drives up and asks, “Where’s the cabinet?”

The junk shop owner points to a pile of old wood.

“What’s that?” says the dealer.

“It’s the cabinet. I felt so guilty charging twenty pounds for firewood that I’ve done you a favor and chopped it up for you.”
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Country song titles. . .
Readers of New York magazine were asked to invent country-song titles. Here are some entries:

– Baked My Sweetie A Pie, But He Left With A Tart
– You Wanted To Get Hitched, But My Heart Is Filled With Whoa
– Ain’t No Trash In My Trailer Since The Night I Threw You Out

– I Lost My Honey Bunny On A Bad Hare Day
– She Chews Tobacco, But She Didn’t Choose Me
– The Peach I Picked In Georgia Didn’t Cling To Me For Long

– Don’t Want That Floozy In My Jacuzzi
– Now That We’re Miserable, I Hope You’re Happy
– I Found The Recipe For Heartbreak In A Cookbook On Your Shelf
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TODAY’S TRIVIA: How are flavored coffees produced? Commercially flavored coffee beans are flavored after they are roasted and partially cooled to around 100 degrees. It is then that the flavor is applied as the coffee beans’ pores are open and therefore more receptive to flavor absorption.

~ What was the first toy to be advertised on television? The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr. Potato Head. Introduced in 1952, Mr. Potato Head took advantage of TV’s explosive growth to gain access to tens of millions of newly “plugged-in” households.

~ For what work did Einstein receive the Nobel prize for physics? Albert Einstein, who was awarded the Nobel Prize for physics in 1921, was honored not for his famous theory of relativity published sixteen years earlier but for his lesser-known work on the photoelectric effect.

~ How was Aunt Jemima the first? In 1889, Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented at St. Joseph, Missouri, was the first self-rising flour for pancakes and the first ready-mix food ever to be introduced commercially.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: “It is always the best policy to speak the truth. Unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.” – Jerome K. Jerome

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . The future has several names. For the weak, it is the impossible. For the fainthearted, it is the unknown. For the thoughtful and valiant, it is the ideal.” – Victor Hugo

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