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January 29th

The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams. – Elizabeth Gilbert


TODAY – JANUARY 29th

29th day of the year with 336 days to follow (337 in leap years).

Holidays for Today:
~ Curmudgeons Day
~ Freethinkers Day aka Thomas Paine Day
~ Kansas Day (in Kansas!)
~ National Carnation Day
~ National Corn Chip Day
~ National Puzzle Day
~ National Seeing Eye Dog Day
~ National Volunteer Blood Donor Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1737 Thomas Paine, English-American author, activist, and theorist (Common Sense, The American Crisis)
  • 1754 Moses Cleaveland, Canterbury, Connecticut, lawyer, politician, soldier, and surveyor (founder of Cleveland, Ohio)
  • 1843 William McKinley, Niles, Ohio, 25th President of the United States (led nation to victory in Spanish-American War, assassinated in 1901)
  • 1874 John D. Rockefeller Jr., Cleveland, Ohio, entrepreneur (Standard Oil)
  • 1918 John Forsythe, Penns Grove, New Jersey, actor (Bachelor Father, Charlie’s Angels, Dynasty, World of Survival)
  • 1935 Roger Payne, New York City, NY, biologist (discovery of whale song among humpback whales)
  • 1945 Tom Selleck, Detroit, Michigan, actor, screenwriter and film producer (Magnum, P.I., The Sacketts, Quigley Down Under, Jesse Stone in movies made from Robert B. Parker books, Blue Bloods)
  • 1954 Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko, Mississippi, talk show host and actress (Wrinkle in Time)
  • 1957 Ron Franscell, Casper, Wyoming) author and journalist (The Darkest Night, The Crime Buff’s Guide to: series)
  • 1962 Nicholas Turturro, New York City, NY, actor (NYPD Blue, Blue Bloods, The Eyes, A Chance in the World)
  • 1970 Heather Graham, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, actress (License to Drive, Drugstore Cowboy, Twin Peaks, Anger Management, Law & Order True Crime)

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Lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.” ~ Anthony Robbins
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1861 Kansas is admitted as the 34th U.S. state.
  • 1886 Karl Benz patents the first successful gasoline-driven automobile.
  • 1891 Liliuokalani is proclaimed Queen of Hawaii, its last monarch.
  • 1900 The American League is organized in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with 8 founding teams.
  • 1907 Charles Curtis of Kansas becomes the first Native American U.S. Senator.
  • 1943 The first day of the Battle of Rennell Island, U.S. cruiser Chicago is torpedoed and heavily damaged by Japanese bombers.
  • 1985 Final recording session of We Are The World, by the supergroup USA for Africa.
  • 1998 In Birmingham, Alabama, a bomb explodes at an abortion clinic, killing one and severely wounding another. Serial bomber Eric Robert Rudolph is suspected as the culprit.
  • 2002 In his State of the Union Address, President George W. Bush describes “regimes that sponsor terror” as an Axis of Evil, in which he includes Iraq, Iran and North Korea.
  • 2009 Governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich is removed from office following his conviction of several corruption charges, including the alleged solicitation of personal benefit in exchange for an appointment to the U.S. Senate as a replacement for then-U.S. president-elect Barack Obama.
  • 2015 Malaysia officially declared the disappearance of missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 an accident and its passengers and crew presumed dead.

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Two women are talking. One asks, “How is your son doing?”
“My son? the poor, poor lad! What an unfortunate marriage he made to a girl who won’t do a stitch of work in the house. She won’t cook, she won’t sew, she won’t wash or clean. All she does is sleep and loaf and read in bed. The poor boy even has to bring her breakfast in bed, would you believe it?”

“That’s really awful. And what about your daughter?”
“Ah, now she’s the lucky one! She married an angel. He won’t let her do anything in the house. He does the cooking and sewing and washing and cleaning. And each morning he brings her breakfast in bed, would you believe it? All she does is sleep for as long as she wishes and spends the rest of the day relaxing and reading in bed.”
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A lawyer awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him.

“Why are the curtains closed?” he asked. “Is it night?”

A nurse replied, “No, it’s just that there’s a fire across the street and we didn’t want you to wake up and think that the operation was unsuccessful.”
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ONE-LINERS: What “Really” Means When a Guy Uses It. . .

~ “It’s really a good movie,” REALLY MEANS, “It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and good looking women.”
~ “You know how bad my memory is,” REALLY MEANS, “I remember the words to the theme song of “F Troop”, the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

~ “What did I do this time?” REALLY MEANS, “What did you catch me doing?”
~ “I do help around the house,” REALLY MEANS, “I once threw a dirty towel near the laundry basket.”
~ “Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself. It’s no big deal,” REALLY MEANS, “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.”

~ “She’s one of the rabid feminists,” REALLY MEANS, “She refused to make my coffee.”
~ “I heard you,” REALLY MEANS, “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

~ “You really look terrific in that outfit,” REALLY MEANS, “Please don’t try on another outfit. I’m starving.”
~ “I missed you,” REALLY MEANS, “I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper.”

~ “We share the housework,” REALLY MEANS, “I make the messes. She cleans them up.”
~ “I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are,” REALLY MEANS, “No one will ever see us alive again.”
~ “I don’t need to read the instructions,” REALLY MEANS, “I am perfectly capable of messing it up without printed help.”
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A nursery school teacher was delivering a minivan full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.

“No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.”
A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrant.”
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Some Police Quotes

~ “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
~ “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”

~ “Life’s tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.”
~ “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

~ “Just how big were those two beers?
~ “In God we trust, all others are suspects.”
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pic of the day: Rufous Hummingbird..

Rufous Hummingbird (Selasphorus_rufus)
This photo was taken by Ryan Bushby (HighInBC)
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Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it?
Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated..
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“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?”

“Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ A guy told his friends: “I left my job because of illness and fatigue.”
Turns out, his boss got sick and tired of him.

~ How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Juan

~ “Mom, do men ever go to Heaven?”
“Yes, of course they do. What makes you ask that?”
“I’ve never seen a picture of an angel with whiskers.”
“Well, some men do go to heaven, but they get there only by a close shave.”
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In a criminal justice system based on 12 individuals not smart enough to get out of jury duty, here is a jury of which to be proud.

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed, and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied, “Yes, we did look, but your client didn’t.”
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“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”

“Was he successful?”

“Yup! I had to sell my car to pay his bill.”
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A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome.

The employer read all his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.”

“Oh, great,” the man said, “What is it?”

“It’s called the door.”
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The frantic mother phoned her pediatrician. “My baby has a temperature of 102!”

The doctor, needing to know if the measurement was oral or anal, asked, “How are you taking it?”

Her reply: “Oh, I’m holding up pretty well …”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: How did the monkey wrench get its name? The monkey wrench is named after its inventor, a London blacksmith named Charles Moncke.

~ How do hedgehogs protect themselves? Hedgehog quills are not barbed or poisonous. Hedgehogs do apply a foamy, foul-tasting saliva to their quills, which protects the animals from predators.

~ Which is the feistiest hummingbird in North America? The brilliant orange male and the green-and-orange female Rufous Hummingbird are relentless attackers at flowers and feeders, going after (if not always defeating) even the large hummingbirds of the Southwest, which can be double their weight.

~ Does Alaska have hummingbirds? The Rufous is the only species of hummingbird to nest in Alaska. They migrate 2,000 miles to Mexico each winter, and then back to Alaska in the spring.

~ What color is a Rufous Hummingbird? In good light, male Rufous Hummingbirds glow like coals: bright orange on the back and belly, with a vivid iridescent-red throat. Females are green above with rufous-washed flanks, rufous patches in the green tail, and often a spot of orange in the throat.

Video of Rufous Hummingbird

Lovely, crystal clear video showing the bright colors of a Rufous Hummingbird. . .

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Hope has two beautiful daughters – their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are. – St. Augustine

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