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January 31st

No one feels another’s grief, no one understands another’s joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by. – Franz Schubert


31st day of the year with 334 days to follow (335 in leap years).

Holidays for Today:
~ Appreciate Your Social Security Check Day
~ Inspire Your Heart with Art Day (a day to ponder how art affects your heart)
~ National Backward Day (a day to do everything backwards!)
~ National Brandy Alexander Day
~ National Hot Chocolate Day


  • 1797 Franz Schubert, Austrian composer (Unfinished Symphony, Ave Maria)
  • 1872 Zane Grey, Zanesville, Ohio, American West novelist (Riders of the Purple Sage, Spirit of the Border)
  • 1919 Jackie Robinson, Cairo, Georgia, baseball player (first black player in Major League Baseball (Brooklyn Dodgers))
  • 1921 Carol Channing, Seattle, Washington, actress (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Hello Dolly)
  • 1923 Norman Mailer, Long Branch, New Jersey, writer and journalist (The Naked & The Dead, The Deer Park, The Executioner’s Song)
  • 1931 Ernie “Mr Cub” Banks, Dallas, Texas, Chicago Cubs, Hall-of-Famer (1st baseman / shortstop)
  • 1937 Suzanne Pleshette, New York City, New York, actress (The Birds, Emily-Bob Newhart Show, The Shaggy D.A., The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride)
  • 1941 Jessica Walter, Brooklyn, New York. actress (Just Shoot Me, Play Misty for Me, Arrested Development, Amy Prentiss, Archer)
  • 1947 Nolan Ryan, Refugio, Texas, pitcher (Mets, Angels, Astros) (7 no-hitters, 5,714 KS)
  • 1977 Kerry Washington, The Bronx, New York, actress (Ray , The Last King of Scotland, Fantastic Four, Scandal)
  • 1981 Justin Timberlake, Memphis, Tennessee, singer (“Cry Me a River”, “My Love”, “What Goes Around…/…Comes Around”)

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. – Franz Schubert


  • 1865 The United States Congress passes the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, abolishing slavery, submitting it to the states for ratification.
  • 1865 American Civil War: General Robert E. Lee becomes Confederate general-in-chief.
  • 1876 The United States orders all Native Americans to move into reservations.
  • 1930 3M begins marketing Scotch Tape.
  • 1958 Explorer 1 – The first successful launch of an American satellite into orbit.
  • 1958 James Van Allen discovers the Van Allen radiation belt.
  • 1961 Ham the Chimp travels into outer space as part of Project Mercury.
  • 1971 Apollo 14 Mission – Astronauts Alan Shepard, Stuart Roosa, and Edgar Mitchell, aboard a Saturn V, lift off for a mission to the Fra Mauro Highlands on the Moon.
  • 1995 President Bill Clinton authorizes a $20 billion loan to Mexico to stabilize its economy.
  • 2010 Avatar becomes the first film to gross over $2 billion worldwide.
  • 2018 Blue moon, blood moon and total lunar eclipse trifecta.


There are 3 fundamental truths about religion:

1) Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Son of God.

2) Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the Vicar of Christ.

3) Baptists don’t recognize each other at the bar on Saturday nights.


OUR COLUMBIA, S.C., Army Reserve Civil Affairs Brigade was holding a joint exercise with troops from Fort Bragg, N.C. One soldier was assigned the task of finding civilian facilities in the area that could repair an armored division’s vehicles. He located three shops that were so equipped and then phoned a fourth one.

Was it in fact a heavy-duty repair shop? “Yes.”
Could they repair diesel engines? “Sure.”
Did they work on tracked vehicles? “Yep, work on those big tractors all the time.”

Did they have a crane that could lift an M-60 main battle tank? There was silence for a moment, and then the soldier heard a shout on the other end of the line: “Hey, Joe, come listen to this nut on the telephone!”
–Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Col. Ronald T. Hillhouse


~ Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
~ Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
~ Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

~ Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
~ Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
~ Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

~ Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
~ Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”
His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”
Johnny says, “WOW! I can see why they threw him out!”

A young airhead had the windows in her house replaced with new double-insulated energy efficient windows. Twelve months later, she got a call from the contractor, complaining that the work has been done for a year and she had yet to make the first payment.

The airhead replied, “Now don’t try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves!”

pic of the day: In honor of Franz Schubert

… oil painting by Austrian painter Wilhelm August Rieder

How to Annoy a Policeman (if you dare!)

~ When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol!”
~ If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to 70.
~ If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the bonnet.

~ Trip and fall into him.
~ Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

~ Try to sell him your car.
~ Ask if you can buy his car.

~ Tell him you like men in uniform.
~ Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.

Two cows are chatting in a field. One says to the other, “Are you worried by this mad cow disease?”
The second cow says, “It doesn’t affect me – I’m a rabbit!”


The summer band class I taught was just getting underway when a large insect flew into the room. The sixth graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student could stand it no longer. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect and then for good measure stomped on it to ensure its fate.

“Is it a bee?” another student asked.

“Nope! Bee flat.”


Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver’s license.

“Will there be any change of address?” the clerk inquired.
“No,” I replied.
“Oh, good,” she said, clearly delighted. “You got the house.”

Phrases of Wisdom

– Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
– Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
– No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

– A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
– Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
– Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

– Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
– There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
– Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

– By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
– Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
– Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
– Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

It’s so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling,
the Methodists are using wet-wipes,
the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks,
and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

Harold’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?”

Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”

“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Harold interrupted. “I haven’t added them up yet.”

… Then the fight started…


TODAY IN TRIVIA: How old was Franz Schubert when he died?  At the age of 31, Schubert died in Vienna, on 19 November 1828. The cause of his death was officially diagnosed as typhoid fever, though other theories have been proposed, such as syphilis with mercury poisoning from the treatment.

~ Where was Schubert buried? By his own request, Schubert was buried in the village cemetery of Währing, Vienna, next to Beethoven, whom he had admired all his life. In fact, he had served as a torchbearer at Beethoven’s funeral just a year before his own death.

~ Did Schubert produce many works in his short lifetime? Indeed he did! He was extremely prolific with over 600 secular vocal works (mainly Lieder), seven complete symphonies, sacred music, operas, incidental music and a large body of chamber and piano music to his credit.

~ What is a Lieder? It’s a type of German song, especially of the Romantic period, typically for solo voice with piano accompaniment. The words are from a German poem and are set to classical music. Schubert was the most notable composer of lieder.

Video/music: Examples of Leider

Or if you prefer, a favorite no matter what time of year…

Video/music: Franz Schubert’s Ave Maria

QUIP OF THE DAY: There are two contrary impulses which govern this man’s brain – the one sane, and the other eccentric. They alternate at regular intervals. – Franz Schubert


Thought for the day. . . You believe happiness to be derived from the place in which once you have been happy, but in truth it is centered in ourselves. – Franz Schubert

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