Pages Menu
Categories Menu

July 26th

When making your choice in life, do not neglect to live. – Samuel Johnson


TODAY – JULY 26th

207th day of the year (208th in leap years) with 158 days follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National All or Nothing Day
~ National Aunt and Uncle’s Day
~ National Bagelfest Day
~ National Coffee Milkshake Day
~ National Disability Independence Day
~ National Get Gnarly Day
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1875 Dr. Carl Gustav Jung, Switzerland,  psychiatrist (founded analytic psychology)
  • 1894 Aldous Huxley, England, author (Brave New World)
  • 1895 Gracie Allen, San Franciso, California, Mrs. George Burns/comedienne (Burns & Allen)
  • 1909 Vivian Vance, Cherryvale, Kansas, actress (Ethel Mertz on I Love Lucy)
  • 1922 Jason Robards Jr, Chicago, Illinois, actor (A Thousand Clowns, Inherit the Wind, All the Presidents Men)
  • 1923 Jan Berenstain, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, author / illustrator (Berenstain Bears children’s books)
  • 1943 Mick Jagger, English musician (The Rolling Stones)
  • 1956 Dorothy Hamill, CT, ice figure skater (Olympic-gold-1976)
  • 1957 Nana Visitor, NYC, New York, actress (Kira Nerys / Star Trek: DS9; Wildfire, Family Guy, Full Out)
  • 1959 Kevin Spacey, South Orange, New Jersey, actor (LA Confidential, Lex Luthor/Superman Returns, Pay it Forward, The Usual Suspects, House of Cards, Elvis and Nixon)
  • 1964 Sandra Bullock, Arlington, Virginia, actress (Speed, The Net, Miss Congeniality, Forces of Nature, 28 Days, Crash, Gravity, Our Brand Is Crisis, Ocean’s Eight)
  • 1965 Jeremy Piven, NYC, New York, actor (Black Hawk Down, Entourage, Smokin’ Aces, PCU, Old School, Heat, Runaway Jury, Cars, The Kingdom, Mr. Selfridge, Wisdom of the Crowd)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1775 Benjamin Franklin becomes 1st Postmaster General.
  • 1788 New York becomes 11th state to ratify constitution.
  • 1908 Federal Bureau of Investigation established (Office of the Chief Examiner at first).
  • 1947 President Harry S. Truman signs the National Security Act into United States law creating the Central Intelligence Agency, Department of Defense, Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the National Security Council.
  • 1948 U.S. President Harry S. Truman signs Executive Order 9981 desegregating the military of the United States.
  • 1971 Apollo 15 launched to the Moon
  • 1989 A federal grand jury indicts Cornell University student Robert T. Morris, Jr. for releasing the Morris worm, thus becoming the first person to be prosecuted under the 1986 Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
  • 1990  The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 is signed into law by President George Bush.
  • 2005 Space Shuttle program: STS-114 Mission – Launch of Discovery, NASA’s first scheduled flight mission after the Columbia Disaster in 2003.
  • 2016 Hillary Clinton becomes the first female nominee for President of the United States by a major political party at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia.
  • 2016 Solar Impulse 2 becomes the first solar-powered aircraft to circumnavigate the Earth.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

I WAS ATTENDING Army ROTC basic training at Fort Knox, Ky., and at the rappelling tower I had to hook into a rope, lean off the edge and drop 60 feet. Terrified, I refused to continue.
Finally a colonel on the ground persuaded me to go for it. With eyes closed, I pushed off and landed safely. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he said enthusiastically, ordering me back up.
I was on the verge of panic when I reached the top. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see the colonel behind me, nervous and pale. “I should have kept my mouth shut,” he muttered. “Now they want me to try it!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Joey’s dad invited Rev. & Mrs. Brown to dinner. Joey’s mom made an extra-special meal. It was Joey’s job to set the table with the good china and silver.
As everyone sat down to eat, Joey’s mom said, “Joey, dear, you forgot to set a knife and fork for Mrs. Brown.”
“I didn’t think I needed to,” Joey explained. “I heard Daddy say she eats like a horse.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS:
~ A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
~ If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
~ You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
~ Being over the hill is better than being under it.
~ Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
~ Blessed are they who have nothing to say and who cannot be persuaded to say it.
~ On one hand, I’m indecisive; but on the other, I’m not.
~ A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

I’m high maintenance…I take aspirin for the headache caused by the Zyrtec I take for the hayfever I got from Relenza from the uneasy stomach from the Ritalin I take for the short attention span caused by the Scopederm Ts I take for the motion sickness I got from the Lomotil I take for the diarrhea caused by the Zenikal for the uncontrolled weight gain from the Paxil I take for the anxiety from the Zocor I take for my high cholesterol because exercise, a good diet, and regular chiropractic care are just too much trouble.
(Sadly, all too true for all too many people.)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Ms. Jones, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence in the classroom, little Dewey raised his hand. The teacher called on Dewey for his answer.
With complete sincerity in his voice, little Dewey answered, “A lawyer.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Baby Rhinoceros
baby rhinoceros
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher.
When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “Amen, Brother!”

When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “Preach it Reverend!”
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “Right on, Brother! Tell it like it is…Amen!”

But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s just meddling!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Me: I taught my dog to play chess.

Friend: He must be very smart!

Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

There are many “pinot” wines on the market these days: Pinot Noir, Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio are but a few.

There is also marketing research on a product for senior citizens from a new hybrid grape that acts as a diuretic and will reduce the number of trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night.

They will be marketing the new wine as …. Pinot More.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters:
‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’
“Can you read this?” the optician asked.
“Read it?” the Polish guy replied – “I know the fellow.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

After a lengthy search, the bounty hunter had traced his quarry to his favorite cantina. He put his gun to the guy’s head and said, “Tell me where you hid the loot or I’ll blow your brains out.”
But alas, the fugitive didn’t speak English, and the bounty hunter didn’t speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger’s message.
The terrified bandit blurted out, “El dinero está enterrado bajo el gran roble en la parte de atrás de la cantina [The money is buried under the big oak tree in back of the cantina].”

The bounty hunter asked the lawyer, “What did he say?”
The lawyer calmly replied, “He said, ‘Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn’t dare shoot me.'”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

** Stress Management Techniques **

Just in case you’ve had a rough day, here’s an eight-step stress management technique recommended in the latest psychological texts.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic world.

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you’re holding underwater.
8. See? You’re smiling already.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Following a campaign speech, a young man rushed up to the speaker and said, “Senator, I wouldn’t vote for you if you were Saint Peter.”

The senator eyed him a moment then said, “Son, if I were Saint Peter, you couldn’t vote for me, because you wouldn’t be in my district.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: What was the first thing made from aluminum? The first known item made from aluminum was a rattle — made for Napoleon III in the 1850s. Napoleon also provided his most honored guests with knives and forks made of pure aluminum. At the time, the newly discovered metal was so rare, it was considered more valuable than gold.

~ What is the most populated city in the world? Tokyo, Japan is the most densely populated city on the planet with 37.8 Million people according to the UN. One of the reasons why Greater Tokyo has grown so big – it’s the flattest region in mainland Japan.

~ How were London streets lit before gas? The streets of London were lit by gaslights for the first time in 1807. Before that, torches were used.

~ What sort of clothing did the pharaohs wear? The pharaohs of ancient Egypt wore garments made with thin threads of beaten gold. Some fabrics had up to 500 gold threads per one inch of cloth.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. – Ann Landers

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Love the moment.  Flowers grow out of dark moments.  Therefore, each moment is vital.  It affects the whole.  Life is a succession of such moments and to live each is to succeed. ” – Corita Kent

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.