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July 27th

We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.- Martha Grimes


TODAY – JULY 27th

208th day of the year (209th in leap years) with 157 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Cross-Atlantic Communication Day
~ National Crème Brûlée Day
~ National Love is Kind Day
~ National New Jersey Day
~ National Scotch Day
~ Take your Pants for a Walk Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1733 Jeremiah Dixon, English surveyor and astronomer (surveyed Mason-Dixon Line)
  • 1881 Hans Fischer, German chemist (Nobel / synthesis of bilirubin)
  • 1882 Sir Geoffrey De Havilland, English aircraft designer, manufacturer, and pioneer in long-distance jet flying
  • 1916 Kennan Wynn, New York City, New York, actor (Dr Strangelove, Absent Minded Professor)
  • 1922 Norman Lear, New Haven, Connecticut, TV writer/producer (All in The Family, Sanford & Son, Good Times, Maude)
  • 1931 Jerry Van Dyke, Danville, Illinois, actor (My Mother the Car, Coach)
  • 1946 Rade Šerbedžija,Croatian actor (General Dmitri Gredenko in 24)
  • 1948 Betty Thomas, St. Louis, Missouri, actor and film director (Tunnel Vision, Chesty Anderson, Used Cars, Loose Shoes/  The Fun Factory, Whose Line Is It Anyway?)
  • 1948 Peggy Fleming, San Jose, California, figure skater (won an Olympic gold medal in 1968)
  • 1949 André Dupont, Quebec, Canada, ice hockey player (won a Memorial Cup in 1969)
  • 1957 Bill Engvall, Galveston, Texas, comedian (Blue Collar Comedy, Bill Engvall Show)
  • 1972 Jill Arrington, Conyers, Georgia, sports reporter ( Orange Bowl princess  and ESPN reporter 2004 season)
  • 1977 Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Irish actor (Elvis, The Tudors, Matchpoint, Dracula, Roots)
  • 1984 Taylor Schilling, Boston, Massachusetts, actress (Mercy, Lucky One, Orange is the New Black, The Overnight)
  • 1985 Lou Taylor Pucci, Seaside Heights, New Jersey, actor (Fast Food Nation, Southland Tales, Rebecca Miller’s movie)
  • 1986 Courtney Kupets, Bedford Texas, gymnast- bronze medalist on the uneven bars at the 2004 Olympics.
  • 1987  Jordan Hill, Atlanta, Georgia, basketball player (Houston Rockets of the National Basketball Association)
  • 1989 Charlotte Arnold, Toronto, Canada, actress (Degrassi: The Next Generation, Sadie Hawthorne in the Canadian TV series Naturally, Sadie)
  • 1990  Nick Hogan, Clearwater, Florida, reality TV star (Hogan Knows Best)
  • 1994 Spencer Achtymichuk, Canadian actor (The Dead Zone)

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I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. – Frank Howard Clark
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  •  1789 Congress establishes Department of Foreign Affairs (later renamed the State Dept.).
  • 1866 The Atlantic Cable is successfully completed, allowing transatlantic telegraph communication for the first time.
  • 1880 Second Anglo-Afghan War: Battle of Maiwand
  • 1888  First electric automobile, designed by Philip W. Pratt, demonstrated in Boston, a tricycle powered by six Electrical Accumulator Company cells, weighing 90 pounds.
  • 1914 Felix Manalo registers the Iglesia ni Cristo with the Philippine government.
  • 1921 Researchers at the University of Toronto led by biochemist Frederick Banting announce the discovery of the hormone insulin.
  • 1940 Bugs Bunny makes his official debut in the animated cartoon A Wild Hare.
  • 1949 Initial flight of the de Havilland Comet, the first jet-powered airliner.
  • 1953 Armistice signed ending Korean War.
  • 1955 The Allied occupation of Austria stemming from World War II, ends.
  • 1974 Watergate Scandal: The House of Representatives Judiciary Committee votes 27 to 11 to recommend the first article of impeachment against President Richard Nixon: obstruction of justice.
  • 1988 Radio Shack announces the Tandy 1000 SL computer.
  • 1991 TV Guide publishes it’s 2000th edition.
    1990 The Supreme Soviet of the Belarusian Soviet Republic declares independence of Belarus from the Soviet Union.
  • 1995 Korean War Veterans Memorial dedicated in Washington, D.C.
  • 1996 Pipe bomb explodes at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta, GA, during the 1996 Summer Olympics, killing one and injuring 111.
  • 2005 STS-114: NASA grounds the Space shuttle, pending an investigation of the external tank’s continued foam-shedding problem.
  • 2007 Phoenix News Helicopter Collision.

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Two lions escaped from a zoo near Washington, D.C., and took off in separate directions. Weeks later they ran into each other in the middle of the night.

“I’m having a terrible time getting food,” the first lion said. “How have you been getting along?”

“Just fine,” the second lion said. “I found a good hiding place in the Pentagon. I eat one general a week. It’ll be years before they notice that anyone is missing.”

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In the doctors office two patients are talking.

“You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake.”

“A sponge!” exclaims the other. “Does it hurt much?”

“No…no pain at all,” says the first, “but…boy, do I get thirsty!”

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ONE-LINERS:
Things I’d Like to Hear, Just Once From my auto mechanic:
~ “That part is much less expensive than I thought.”
~ “I’ve never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do.”
~ “You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street.”
~ “It was just a loose wire. No charge.”
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ON A SHOPPING TRIP with my daughter, a Navy flight surgeon, I noticed that one item on her list was Snoopy bandages. She said they were for some of her patients who were unnecessarily upset by their minor scratches and routine shots.

Beaming with maternal pride, I told her how thoughtful she was to make the officers’ children so happy.

“Children?” she said. “Mother, these are for the pilots.” – by Fran Solomon Smith

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– Basic Flying Rules: “Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.”

– As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks “What happened?”. The pilot’s reply: “I don’t know, I just got here myself!”

– “What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, …. the pilot dies.”
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pic of the day:

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~ What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.

~ Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.

~ What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.

~ What is an astronaut’s favourite part on a computer?
The space bar.

~ Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
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Comprehending the IT guy . . .
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the IT guy, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in error.

To her credit, Nancy finally said, “Look. I’ll tell you what. I’ll admit I’m wrong if you admit I was right.”

“Fine.” I said.

She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, “I’m wrong.”

I grinned and replied, “You’re right.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

~A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.

~Did you hear about the guy who sent ten puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did

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Our 15-year-old daughter, Melanie, had to write a report for school about World War II, specifically D-Day and the invasion of Normandy.

“Isn’t there a movie about that?” she asked.

I told her there was, but I couldn’t think of the name.

Then it came to her, “Oh, I remember! Isn’t it something like ‘Finding Private Nemo’?”
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My friend is a high school guidance counselor and knows all the signs of emotional upheaval. One morning her preteen daughter showed up for breakfast, dragging her feet and rubbing her eyes. The young girl flopped down in her chair and said, “Mom, I’m sick of life.”

All of her mother’s high school counselor alarms went off as she rushed around the breakfast bar, put an arm around her daughter, and began to explain to her why life is worth living.

The daughter looked up at her and said, “Mo-om … I meant Life cereal.”

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Ways the Bible Would Be Different if Written by College Students….

– New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
– Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning – cold.
– The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.

– Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
– Paul’s letter to the Romans becomes Paul’s e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.
– Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food.

– Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.
– The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
– Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

– Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
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AT FORT SAM HOUSTON, I knew a private whose mother baked such delicious cookies that whenever he received a package from home, he drew a crowd and was left with precious few of the goodies himself. He was eventually reassigned, and one day I bumped into him and asked if the members of his new unit were equally fond of his mother’s cookies. “They’ve never tasted them,” he replied.

He went on to explain that the first thing he did after his transfer was to write to his ten-year-old sister, asking her to send him a batch of her awful oatmeal cookies. Then he went around enthusiastically offering them to his fellow soldiers, who gagged on the first bite.

“Ever since then,” he said cheerfully, “my packages from home haven’t attracted much attention.”
–Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Richard Iannelli

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Which animals like their fleas? 
Fleas are essential to the health of armadillos and hedgehogs; they provide necessary stimulation of the skin. Deloused armadillos and hedgehogs will die.

~ What does Cross-Atlantic Communication Day celebrate?
It marks the anniversary of the first sustained working telegraph cable between Europe and the Americas.

~ What state is known as the oyster capital of the east coast?
The seaside state of Virginia, thanks to its plentiful seafood yields. The state also hosts the Urbanna Oyster Festival and the Chincoteague Island Oyster Roast, among other events honoring the shellfish.

~How long were a mammoth’s tusks?
The woolly mammoth, extinct since the Ice Age, had tusks almost 16 feet high.

~ What state is the single largest producer of maple syrup in the U.S.?
Vermont. In 2018 alone, the state syrup crop came in at a record 1.9 gallons.

~ How often is a star born?
A new star is born in our galaxy is born every 18 days. About 20 new stars are born each year. For comparison, there are 100,000 million stars in our galaxy.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. – Alexander Graham Bell

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