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July 30th

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. – Babe Ruth


TODAY – JULY 30th

211th day of the year (212th in leap years) with 154 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ International Day of Friendship
~ National Cheesecake Day
~ National Father-in-Law Day
~ National Whistleblower Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1818 Emily Bronte, British novelist and poet (Wuthering Heights)
  • 1863 Henry Ford, Greenfield Township, Michigan, businessman (founded the Ford Motor Company)
  • 1922 Henry W. Bloch, Kansas City, Missouri, banker and businessman (co-founder of H&R Block)
  • 1941 Paul Anka, Canadian-American singer-songwriter (Lonely Boy, Put Your Head On My Shoulder) and actor
  • 1947 Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austrian-American bodybuilder, actor (Predator, Terminator), and politician (38th Governor of California)
  • 1948 Otis Taylor, Chicago, Illinois, blues musician (Truth is Not Fiction)
  • 1950 Frank Stallone, New York City, New York, singer and actor (Rocky Balboa )
  • 1956 Delta Burke, Orlando, Florida, actress (Designing Women, What Women Want)
  • 1961 Laurence Fishburne, Augusta, Georgia, actor (Matrix, What’s Love Got To Do With It, CSI, Deep Cover, The Tuskegee Airmen)
  • 1962 Alton Brown, Los Angeles, California, chef, author, and producer (Good Eats, Iron Chef America)
  • 1964 Vivica A. Fox, South Bend, Indiana, actress (Independence Day, Set It Off, Soul Food, Kill Bill, 1-800-MISSING, 3rd season Dancing with the Stars)
  • 1970 Dean Edwards, The Bronx, New York, comedian (The Sopranos )
  • 1977 Jaime Pressly, Kinston, North Carolina, actress (Joe Dirt, DOA: Dead or Alive; I Love You, Man; My Name is Earl)
  • 1984 Gabrielle Christian, Washington, D.C., actress (Drake & Josh, Windfall, Without a Trace)

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People seldom do what they believe in, they do what is convenient, and then repent. – Bob Dylan

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1865 The steamboat Brother Jonathan sinks off the coast of Crescent City, California, killing 225 passengers, the deadliest shipwreck on the Pacific Coast of the U.S. at the time.
  • 1866 New Orleans’s Democratic government orders police to raid an integrated Republican Party meeting, killing 40 people and injuring 150.
  • 1871 The Staten Island Ferry Westfield’s boiler explodes, killing over 85 people.
  • 1930 In Montevideo, Uruguay wins the first Football World Cup.
  • 1932 Premiere of Walt Disney’s Flowers and Trees, the first cartoon short to use Technicolor and the first Academy Award winning cartoon short.
  • 1971 Apollo 15 Mission – David Scott and James Irwin on the Apollo Lunar Module module Falcon land on the Moon with the first Lunar Rover.
  • 1971 An All Nippon Airways Boeing 727 and a Japanese Air Force F-86 collide over Morioka, Japan killing 162.
  • 1974 Watergate Scandal: U.S. President Richard M. Nixon releases subpoenaed White House recordings after being ordered to do so by the United States Supreme Court.
  • 1990 George Steinbrenner is forced by Commissioner Fay Vincent to resign as principal partner of New York Yankees for hiring Howie Spira to “get dirt” on Dave Winfield.
  • 2003 In Mexico, the last ‘old style’ Volkswagen Beetle rolls off the assembly line.
  • 2006 The world’s longest running music show Top of the Pops is broadcast for the last time on BBC Two. The show had aired for 42 years.

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A pastor was doing his children’s sermon with all the youngsters down front to hear the lesson.

He was discussing the story of Jonah. He quoted the scriptures from Jonah 1 and 2: “And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah; and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the belly of the fish, saying ‘I called to the Lord our of my distress and He answered me.’ … and the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land” (Jonah 1:17; 2:2, 10).

When the pastor finished the quotation, he started trying to solicit input from the youngsters to help him complete his mini-sermon. He asked thoughtfully, “What does the fish vomiting Jonah out on dry land indicate to us today?”

One of the youngsters spoke with great enthusiasm for the entire congregation to hear, “It proves that even a fish can’t stomach a bad preacher!”
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The scientist asks, “Why does it work?”

The engineer asks, “How does it work?”

The accountant asks, “How much does it cost?”

The Liberal Arts major asks, “You want fries with that?”
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Since I had been selling water beds for years, I thought I’d heard every question imaginable. But then a customer asked me, “Can you deliver it filled with water?”

Stunned, I replied, “Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!”

After a short pause, she said, “Could you do it if I helped you carry it in?”
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ONE-LINERS: Personalized Plates
These are purported to be real personalized license plates for cars in the United States.

* WUF WUF – On a Brown Rover
* 2QT4U – 2 Cute for you
* TUSKY – To ski
* TIHS O – This one that works in the rear view mirror. This guy fooled the Ontario authorities.

* 4MYEGO – On a Porsche.
* BSSCLRNT – On a professional bass clarinetist’ car.
* BANDLADY – On a high school band teacher’s car.

* GGR OOM – On a Horse Grooming Company car.
* SEWBIZ – On the car owned by a sewing machine dealership.
* IDUNTOLU – Seen on a school principal’s car. He was in charge of discipline.

* PN DCTR – On acupuncturist’s car.
* JUNK – On a 1993 GMC (jimmy). On a recycler of junk metals in Maryland.
* ML8ML8 – I’m late, I’m late {for a very important date}, On a white Volkswagen Rabbit.
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Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always old me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide With Bleach Alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you once again for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
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pic of the day: The Elk River in West Virginia

Elk River
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Our 15-year-old daughter, Melanie, had to write a report for school about World War II, specifically D-Day and the invasion of Normandy.
“Isn’t there a movie about that?” she asked.

I told her there was, but I couldn’t think of the name.
Then it came to her, “Oh, I remember! Isn’t it something like ‘Finding Private Nemo’?”
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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”
One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

For many generations the family had raised cotton in a lush southern valley. Unfortunately, the boll weevil came to call and for three seasons their crop was wiped out.
The younger members of the family urged their patriarch to leave the cursed valley which was driving them to ruin.
He refused, saying, “Though I live in the valley in the shadow of debt, I shall fear no weevil!”
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A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.
“D’ ye smell that food?” she asked. “It’s Incredible!”

Being a kind-hearted guy, the Scotsman thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her!”

So, they walked past the restaurant again.
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Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, “What is three times three?”
“274,” came the reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday,” replies the second man.

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?”
“Nine,” says the third man.

“That’s great!” says the doctor. “How did you get that?”
“Simple,” he says, “just subtract 274 from Tuesday.”
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Paddy read an article about fathers and sons. Memories came flooding back of the time his Dad took him out for his first pint.

Off he went to the local pub with his son in tow. He got a Guinness. The son didn’t like it, so Paddy had to drink it. Then he got his son a Harp, he didn’t like it, so Paddy drank it. It was the same with the Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale and Smithwick’s.

By the time Paddy got down to the Jameson he could hardly push the stroller back home.
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Several women are talking. One says, “My husband never goes to church. I think he’s going to hell.”
“My boyfriend steals papers from the newsstand. He’s going to hell for sure.”

“My husband does unethical things at work. I’m certain he’s going to hell.”
The last woman says, “I’m going to hell.”

The others turn to her incredulously and ask, “Why?!?”
“You don’t expect me to live in a place without men, do you?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: How can you tell how many children a couple will have?
To see how many children a newlywed couple will have, the Finns count the number of grains of rice in the bride’s hair. Czechs send off the newlyweds under a barrage of peas. Italians throw sugared almonds. An African tradition is to throw corn kernels (to signify fertility).

~ How many quills does a porcupine have?
The average porcupine has more than 30,000 quills. Porcupines are excellent swimmers because their quills are hollow and serve as pontoons to keep them afloat.

~ Is it possible to keep your eyes open when sneezing?
No. Your eyes automatically snap shut when you sneeze. It’s a reflex and there’s no way to stop it. So don’t worry about your eyes popping out when you sneeze. Worry more about hitting the car in front of you when you have a sneezing fit while driving!

~ How Many Beetles in a Gallon?
Some lady beetle, or lady bug, colonies have been reported to contain as many as 500 gallons of beetles. A gallon of beetles contains from 72,000 to 80,000 adults.

~ Why are evergreens more vulnerable?
Evergreens, because of their long life span and their needles’ year-round exposure to pollution, are the most vulnerable trees to air pollution.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: “The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” – Robert Frost

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. – Ancient Indian Proverb

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