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June 10th

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson.


TODAY – JUNE 10th

161st day of the year (162nd in leap years) with 204 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Ballpoint Pen Day
~ National Black Cow Day
~ National Egg Roll Day
~ National Herbs and Spices Day
~ National Iced Tea Day
~ Mourn for Your Money Day (commemorates the signing of the withholding tax bill into law on June 10th, 1943)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1706 John Dollond, English optician, discovered of achromatic doublets (owner of 1st patent for achromatic lens)
  • 1710 James Short, Scottish mathematician/ optician/ astronomer (parabolic & elliptic mirrors for reflecting telescopes)
  • 1735 John Morgan, immigrant from Wales, pioneer of U.S. medical education (founder of United State’s first medical school, the University of Philadelphia), surgeon general of Continental armies during War of Independence
  • 1892 Hattie McDaniel, Wichita, Kansas, actress (Gone With The Wind)
  • 1911 Ralph Kirkpatrick, Leominster, Massachusetts, harpsichordist and musicologist (chronological catalog of Domenico Scarlatti’s keyboard sonatas)
  • 1915 Saul Bellow, Canadian-born American author (Nobel/ Humboldt’s Gift; The Bellarosa Connection, The Actual)
  • 1921 Philip Mountbatten, Greece, Duke of Edinburgh/Prince, consort of Queen Elizabeth II
  • 1922 Judy Garland [Frances Gumm], Grand Rapids, Minnesota, actress/singer (Wizard of Oz, A Star is Born)
  • 1928 Maurice Sendak, NYC, New York, author/illustrator (Where The Wild Things Are)
  • 1929 E. O. Wilson, Birmingham, Alabama, biologist (father of sociobiology & biodiversity) and author (The Social Conquest of Earth, Letters to a Young Scientist)
  • 1929 James McDivitt, Chicago, Illinois, astronaut (Gemini 4, Apollo 9)
  • 1941 Mickey Jones, Houston, Texas, drummer (The First Edition w/Kenny Rogers) and actor (Flo, National Lampoon’s Vacation, V, Home Improvement, Tin Cup, Justified)
  • 1962 Gina Gershon, Los Angeles, California, actress and singer (Showgirls, The Insider, Killer Joe, Rescue Me, How to make It in America,Cleaners, Lost Cat Corona)
  • 1963 Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tulsa, Oklahoma, actress (Basic Instinct, Waterworld, The Firm, Criminal Minds)
  • 1964 Kate Flannery, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actress (Meredith Palmer/The Office, Cooties, 4th Man Out)
  • 1978 Shane West, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, actor (Once And Again, A Walk to Remember, ER, Nikita, Salem)
  • 1982 Tara Lipinski, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, figure skater (1997 World Champion, two-time Champions Series Final Champion (1997–1998) and 1997 U.S. Champion)

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So many of our dreams at first seems impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. – Christopher Reeve
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1898 Spanish-American War: US Marines land on the island of Cuba.
  • 1902 Patent for window envelope granted to H.F. Callahan.
  • 1905 1st forest fire lookout tower placed in operation, Greenville, Maine.
  • 1935 Dr Robert Smith & William Wilson of Akron form Alcoholics Anonymous.
  • 1943 Ball point pen patented by Laslo Biro, who invented the pen with quick-drying ink.
  • 1952 Mylar, an extraordinarily strong polyester film, registered as a DuPont trademark. This film used for magnetic audio and video tape, food wrap, balloons, instrument manufacturers of high-quality drumheads and more.
  • 1967 Israel, Syria, Jordan, Iraq & Egypt end “6-Day War” with UN help.
  • 1977 Apple Computer ships its first Apple II personal computer.
  • 1985 Coca Cola announces they’d bring back their 99-year-old formula.
  • 2003 Spirit Rover is launched, beginning NASA’s Mars Exploration Rover mission.

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Wal-Mart announced that sometime in 2016 it will begin offering customers its own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with the Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce wines at affordable prices in the $2 to $5 range.

The Top Ten names for Wal-Mart Wine:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations … and the Number One Name for Wal-Mart Wine:

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

P.S. Don’t bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax. I know possum is not white meat.

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Boudreaux gets a job with BP helping with the oil spill cleanup. He reports for work and his supervisor tells him, “Go to the animal shelter and clean the pelicans.”

Two hours later, Boudreaux comes up to the supervisor and says, “Okay, dey all cleaned. You want me to cook some rice?”

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MARRIAGE ONE-LINERS . . .

~ My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)
~ The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)

~ Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)
~ I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. (Rita Rudner)

~ A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)
~ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

~ I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)
~ I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There’s water in the carburetor.” I said, “Where’s the car?” She said, “In the lake.” (Henny Youngman)

~ Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)
~ The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (Henny Youngman)
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A homeless man, down on his luck, went into a church. Spotting the man’s dirty clothes, an usher stopped him outside the church door. “Do you need help?”

The homeless man replied, “I was praying and the Lord told me to come to this church.”

“Perhaps you should go away and pray some more. You might get a different answer.”

The following Sunday the homeless man returned. The usher again stopped him at the door. “Well, did you get a different answer?”

“Yes, I did. I told the Lord that you don’t want me here and the Lord said, ‘Keep trying, my son. I’ve been trying to get into that church for years and I haven’t made it yet either.'”

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The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters which turn out to be a tiny one bedroom apartment.

The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn’t have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.

Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the penthouse is a lawyer.

“A lawyer,” says the Pope. “But I’m the Pope, surely I’m more important.”

“With respect Sir,” says Saint Peter, “We have lots of Pope’s up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!”
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Pic of the day: Butterfly on Salvia Blossoms

yellow butterfly on red flowers

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Handicapped Parking . . .
You are parked in a space clearly designated for disabled persons. Please circle the statement which best describes your handicap:

– I don’t read good.
– I suffer from terminal laziness.
– I have Attention Deficit Disorder. Huh?

– My shoes are too expensive to walk in.
– My inner child was bugging me for ice cream.
– Wheelchair symbol? I thought it was a rocking chair!

– I ignore OTHER laws, why not this one?
– My religion forbids acts of common courtesy.
– I AM disabled… by a painfully swollen ego.
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The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, “What kinds of ice cream do you have?”

“Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry,” the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.

“Do you have laryngitis?” the young man asked sympathetically.

“Nope,” she whispered, “just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
~ A gossip is someone with a sense of rumor.
~ A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

~ When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
~ When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.

~ Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

~ Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
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End of the World Headlines: When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

~ USA Today: WE’RE DEAD
~ National Enquirer: JON AND KATE, TOGETHER AGAIN
~ The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

~ Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER
~ Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE
~ Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

~ Readers Digest: ‘BYE
~ Wired: THE LAST NEW THING
~ Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

~ TIME magazine: RENEW YOUR SUBSCRIPTION FOR ETERNITY
~ Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
~ Lady’s Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW “ARMAGEDDON” DIET!

~ America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
~ Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
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A first-time father was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food everywhere, especially on the infant.

His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband staring into space, then says, “What in the world are you doing?”

He replied, “I’m waiting for the first coat to dry, so I can put on another.”

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When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.

I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Mom smiled and then replied…..”I remember.”
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As a sound technician at Friendship Church in Prior Lake, MN, we used a variety of wireless microphones to help make our worship services more meaningful. We were also called on to do weddings and other special events.

During one wedding the pastor, the bride, and the groom each had one of the small microphones with a wire leading down to a transmitter concealed beneath their clothing. Due to the number of mics required for the grand event, we had put some of our older mics in our collection to use. The older mics were sometimes susceptible to interference and would occasionally pick up transmissions from nearby police cars and the CB radios used by truckers.

At a critical point in the wedding vows, the pastor asked the groom that all important question, “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” As if on cue a passing truck driver could be heard loud enough for everyone in the sanctuary to hear, “10-4 Good buddy.”

Everyone had a good laugh, and the wedding continued without any additional help from CB radio traffic.

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Where did the term limelight emerge from? Limelight was how we lit the stage before electricity was invented. Basically, illumination was produced by heating blocks of lime until they glowed.

~ What is National Black Cow Day?
This special day celebrates the Root Beer Float, made with root beer and vanilla ice cream and also called a Black Cow. It was originally made with vanilla ice cream but sometimes it’s made with chocolate ice cream or even plain cola flavor.

~ Who invented the Black Cow float?
Frank J. Wisner of Cripple Creek, Colorado, invented the Black Cow in August of 1893. The owner of the Cripple Creek Cow Mountain Gold Mining Company was staring out the window and thinking about the line of soda waters that was produced for the citizens of Cripple Creek. There was a full moon that night shining on the snow-capped Cow Mountain which reminded him of a scoop of vanilla ice cream. That gave him the idea to try adding a spoonful of the creamy vanilla treat to the children’s favorite flavor of soda, Myers Avenue Red Root Beer. The rest, as they say, is history.

~ Why did he name it Black Cow?
Wisner named the new root beer and vanilla drink Black Cow Mountain after the nearby mountain, but the local children shortened the name to Black Cow.

~ Which is larger – the U.S. or Africa?
The United States would fit into the continent of Africa three and a half times.

~ What is a chute cowboy?
In the film industry, a “chute cowboy” is a slang expression for experienced parachutists that either perform or assist with stunts involving parachutes.

~ Where did ‘Dutch courage’ originate?
During the bubonic plague of London, the city was sealed off to avoid contamination. This meant no food was permitted in. The only people willing to trade with London were the Dutch, who left food on jetties and then would take the money left there. They used to steel their nerves with liquor before landing on the plague-infested shores, hence “Dutch courage.” To this day, the Dutch still have the freedom of the river Thames, which was granted as a reward for their courage and kindness.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb stuff while completely sober too.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. – Albert Schweitzer

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