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June 17th

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. – Raymond Lindquist


TODAY – JUNE 17th

168th day of the year (169th in leap years) with 197 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Global Garbage Man Day
~ National Apple Strudel Day
~ National Cherry Tart Day
~ National Eat Your Vegetables Day
~ National Stewart’s Root Beer Day
~ International Violin Day (celebrated on the birthday of Igor Stravinsky)
~ World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1703 John B Wesley, England, religion co-founder (Methodists)
  • 1867 John Robert Gregg, Ireland/American, inventor (shorthand)
  • 1870 George Cormack, Scotland / American, cereal inventor (Wheaties)
  • 1882 Igor Stravinsky, Russian composer
  • 1910 Red Foley, Blue Lick, Kentucky, country singer (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
  • 1932 Peter Lupus, Indianapolis, Indiana, actor / bodybuilder (Mission Impossible tv series)
  • 1943 Barry Manilow, Brooklyn, New York, musician (Mandy, Can’t Smile Without You, I Write The Songs)
  • 1943 Burt Rutan, Estacada, Oregon, aerospace engineer (Voyager, Spaceship One)
  • 1947 Linda Chavez, Albuquerque, New Mexico, author/ Fox News Analyst/ columnist
  • 1954 Mark Linn-Baker, St Louis, Missouri, actor (Larry Appleton-Perfect Strangers)
  • 1957 Jon Gries, Glendale, California, actor (Roger Linus/Lost)
  • 1964 Diane and Erin Murphy, Encino, California, actresses (Tabitha Stevens-Bewitched)
  • 1965 Dan Jansen, West Allis, Wisconsin, speed skater (Olympic gold 1994)
  • 1966 Jason Patric, Queens, New York, actor (Speed 2, The Lost Boys, The Alamo)
  • 1980 Venus Williams, Lynwood, California, tennis star

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Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to attempt. – William Van Horne

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1856 Republican Party opens its 1st national convention in Philadelphia.
  • 1863 Travelers Insurance Co of Hartford chartered (1st accident insurer).
  • 1885 Statue of Liberty arrived in NYC aboard French ship `Isere’.
  • 1894 1st US poliomyelitis epidemic breaks out, Rutland, Vermont.
  • 1919 “Barney Google” cartoon strip, by Billy De Beck, premiers.
  • 1928 Amelia Earhart leaves Newfoundland to become 1st woman to fly the Atlantic (as a passenger in a plane piloted by Wilmer Stultz).
  • 1940 France asks Germany for terms of surrender in WW II.
  • 1950 1st kidney transplant (Chicago).
  • 1960 Ted Williams hit his 500th home run.
  • 1972 5 arrested for burglarizing Democratic Party HQ at Watergate.
  • 1982 President Reagan 1st UN Gen Assembly address (“evil empire” speech).
  • 1994 Following a televised low-speed highway chase , O.J. Simpson is arrested for the murders of his wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman.

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My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.

When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”

I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”

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A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer.

‘If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.’

‘It’s in the judge’s hands now,’ said the lawyer.

‘Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?’

‘Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge.’

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, ‘Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!’

‘I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them.’

‘But, I did send them.’

‘What? You did?’ said the lawyer, incredulously.

‘Yes. That’s how we won the case.’

‘I don’t understand,’ said the lawyer.

‘It’s easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card.’

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Top Ten Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password:

10) E-Mail flames from some guy named ‘Fluffy.’

9) Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.

8) You find you’ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.

7) Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.feline.com/.

6) Your mouse has teeth marks in it…and a strange aroma of tuna.

5) Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of ‘CyberDog.’

4) Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.

3) You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.

2) On IRC you’re known as the IronMouser.

1) There are little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

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As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection.

A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

“Hold Johnny [our six-week-old son] while I get my sandwich,” she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. And I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was NOT mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.

With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine guys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later my wife said, “Now you know why they call that mustard ‘Poupon.'”

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pic of the day: bluebird on fencepost


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An airhead went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

He took her out, showed her how to start it, and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said, “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

“I can’t remember anything after I turned off the big fan.”
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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “That’s not it” and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, “That’s it.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

The church called in a carpenter to put up a bulletin board in the vestry. Since the walls were marble, he tried to glue it rather than nail it. He ran into problems until he tried making a frame for the bulletin board out of burr oak. That adhered quite successfully.

The moral of this story: “If it ain’t burr oak, don’t affix it!”

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Caller: “There’s something wrong with my password. Whenever I type it, it just shows stars.”

Help Desk: “Those asterisks are to protect you. If someone is standing behind you, they can’t read your password.”

Caller: “Yeah, but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”
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The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding.

Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see lawyers rushing to the scene…

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When Ruth’s grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, “Oh no, oh no, now I can’t be a doctor when I grow up.”

Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn’t.

Finally she asked, “Why can’t you be a doctor?”

Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, “Because now I will have to be a pirate!”

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A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him.

He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at services anymore?”

The old man looked around and lowered his voice. “I’ll tell you, Rabbi,” he whispered. “When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him.”
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Q: What’s the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and a supermodel?

A: Nothing, if her husband knows what’s good for him.

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Cowboy Joe visited his first big city church yesterday and last night he was telling his pardners all about it.

“When I got there they had me park my ol’ truck in the big corral.”
“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a fellow cowhand who’d been to the big city a bunch.

“Yup, I reckon,” Joe replied, “and then I walked up the trail to the barn.”
“The sidewalk to the front door,” interprets Charlie.

“Inside the barn, I was met by this dude in his Sunday best.”
“That would be the usher,” chips in Charlie.

“Well,” Joe says with an eye on Charlie, “that there ‘usher’ led me down the chute…”
“The aisle.”

“Then he dropped me off at a cushy stall and told me to sit there,” Joe says.
“Pew.”
“Yup,” replies Cowboy Joe. “That’s what the purty lady sittin’ next to me in that stall said, too.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: About the Cherry, in Honor of National Cherry Tart Day

~ Cherries have been enjoyed since the Stone Age — pits were found in several Stone Age caves in Europe.
~ The Romans carried cherries throughout Europe and England along the routes of conquest.
~ Michigan has over 35,000 acres of tart cherry trees and grows almost 75% of the tart cherries produced in the United States.

~ Traverse City is called the Cherry Capital of the World. Eau Claire, Michigan, is known as the Cherry Pit Spitting Capital of the World.
~ The earliest known mention of cherries is in Theophrastus (372-272 B.C.) History of Plants’, in which he indicated that cherries had been cultivated for hundreds of years in Greece.

~ The cherry is the state fruit of Utah.
~ Kane, Pennsylvania, is the Black Cherry Capital of the World
~ At one time it was against the law to serve ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. – Flip Wilson

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance. – Khalil Gibran

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