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June 19th

Enthusiasm gives life to what is invisible; and interest to what has no immediate action on our comfort in this world. – Madame de Stael


TODAY – JUNE 19th

170th day of the year (171st in leap years) with 195 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Watch Day
~ National Martini Day
~ World Sauntering Day
~ National Garfield the Cat Day
~ Juneteenth
~ World Sickle Cell Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1795 James Braid, Scotland, physician and surgeon (pioneer of hypnotism and hypnotherapy)
  • 1834 Charles Spurgeon, preacher and author (called “Prince of Preachers”, special collection of Spurgeon’s handwritten sermon notes from 1879–1891 located at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama)
  • 1897 Moe Howard, Brooklyn, New York, actor (leader of The Three Stooges)
  • 1903 Lou Gehrig, baseball first basemen for the New York Yankees (nicknamed ‘The Iron Horse’, sticken with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis at age 36 – now commonly called Lou Gehrig’s disease)
  • 1914 Lester Flatt, Overton County, Tennessee, bluegrass musician (Flatt and Scruggs duo)
  • 1930 Gena Rowlands, Madison, Wisconsin, actress (A Woman Under the Influence, Gloria, An Early Frost, The Betty Ford Story, Hope Floats, The Notebook, The Skeleton Key)
  • 1948 Phylicia Rashad, Houston, Texas, actress (Clair Huxtable on The Cosby Show, A Raisin in the Sun)
  • 1954 Kathleen Turner, Springfield, Missouri, actress (Body Heat, Peggy Sue Got Married, Romancing the Stone, Serial Mom, Prizzi’s Honor, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, V.I. Warshawski)
  • 1962 Paula Abdul, San Fernando, California, singer, actress (American Idol, Live to Dance, The X Factor)
  • 1976 Ryan Hurst, Santa Monica, California,  actor (Remember the Titans, Sons of Anarchy, Bates Motel, Outsiders)
  • 1978 Zoe Saldana, Passaic, New Jersey, actress (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Avatar, Star Trek, Guardians of the Galaxy)
  • 1984 Paul Dano, New York, NY, actor (Too Young to Be a DadLittle Miss Sunshine, There Will Be Blood, Prisoners)

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The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. – Anthony Robbins
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1586 English colonists leave Roanoke Island, after failing to establish England’s first permanent settlement in North America.
  • 1846 First officially recorded, organized baseball match is played under Alexander Cartwright’s rules on Hoboken, New Jersey’s Elysian Fields with the New York Base Ball Club defeating the Knickerbockers 23-1. Cartwright umpired.
  • 1862 The U.S. Congress prohibits slavery in United States territories, nullifying Dred Scott v. Sandford.
  • 1865 Over two years after the Emancipation Proclamation, slaves in Galveston, Texas, finally informed of their freedom. The anniversary is still officially celebrated in Texas and 13 other contiguous states as Juneteenth.
  • 1910 The first Father’s Day is celebrated in Spokane, Washington.
  • 1953 Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are executed at Sing Sing, in New York.
  • 1978 Garfield comic strip makes it debut, ends up, holder of the Guinness World Record for the world’s most widely syndicated comic strip.
  • 1999 Wedding of Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex and Sophie Rhys-Jones.

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An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.

“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward and continued, “Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?”

“Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”

“Impressive. And what sort of case was that?”

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.”
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It’s so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling,
the Methodists are using wet-wipes,
the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks,
and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.
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ONE-LINERS: Daffy Definitions

~ TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.
~ DIVORCE: postgraduate in School of Love.
~ PIONEER: early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

~ PEOPLE: some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened.
~ SWIMMING POOL: a mob of people with water in it.
~ SELF-CONTROL: the ability to eat only one peanut.

~ SALESMAN: man with ability to convince wife she’d look fat in mink.
~ CANNIBAL: person who likes to see other people stewed.
~ EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are.
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GOLDEN OLDIE… Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters? He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help.

As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins — great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer. To their surprise, the sharks allowed the lawyer to take hold of their fins, and escorted him safely to shore.

When the lawyer returned with help, his companions asked him how he had managed such an incredible feat. The lawyer answered, “Professional courtesy.”
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After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days.

Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts was.

“Oh,” I said, “So now you’re speaking to me.”

He looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you noticed I haven’t spoken to you for three days?” I challenged.

“No,” he said, “I just thought we were getting along.”
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PIC OF THE DAY: Llama and Maremma Sheepdog

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A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness when he stopped and said, “Your honor, a juror is asleep.”

The Judge ruled, “You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up.”
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An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ Old roofers never die, they just wipe the slate clean.
~ Old mechanics never die, they just lose their bearings.

~ Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
~ Old college presidents never die, they just lose their faculties.
~ Old tree surgeons never die, they just branch out.
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My ten-year-old grandson wiped the sweat from his face while taking a quick break from his soccer game. The coach ordered him back on the field.
“I’m so tired,” Daniel moaned.
“You’re too young to be that tired,” the coach countered.
“Hey, I’m 63 in dog years.”
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Beth Vorhees of public TV fame said her daughter, Diana, a third-grader, was to give a demonstration speech at school. She planned to demonstrate how to make “Flies on a Log” which consists of peanut butter spread on a stalk of celery with raisins on it.
The morning of her speech, Diana took out everything she needed and put it on the kitchen counter, ready to take it to school. Unfortunately, when the girl and her mother left for school, they forgot to take the items.

Diana’s mother dropped her off and went home to get the stuff.
The celery was gone. The raisins were gone. The peanut butter had been put away.
“Oh,” said Diana’s father. “I had that stuff for breakfast.”

Diana’s faithful mother rushed to gather up more ingredients and rush them to school with an apology to the teacher and an explanation of what happened.
“Gee,” said Diana’s teacher, “that’s a first — ‘My dad ate my homework.'”
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Who is smarter, you or your dog?
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.
Here’s how it works… If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is the smarter one.
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Stupid Lawyer Questions
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: How big was the brain of a stegosaurus?
The stegosaurus had a brain that weighed only 2 ounces and was no bigger than a walnut.

~ Just how large is Jupiter?
Large! Huge even! If Jupiter were a big ball of clay, you could make all the other planets out of it–and still have plenty left over.

~ How fine is vicuna fur?
The fur of the vicuna, a small member of the camel family which live in the Andes mountains of Peru, is so fine that each hair is less than two-thousandths of an inch. The animal was considered sacred by the Incas, and only royalty could wear its fleece.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer,
a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. – Robert X. Cringely

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Your life feels different on you, once you greet death and understand your heart’s position. You wear your life like a garment from the mission bundle sale ever after — lightly because you realize you never paid nothing for it, cherishing because you know you won’t ever come by such a bargain again. – Louise Erdrich

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