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June 20th

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky

TODAY – JUNE 20th

171st day of the year (172nd in leap years) with 194 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Ice Cream Soda Day
~ National Vanilla Milkshake Day
~ West Virginia Day
~ World Refugee Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1894 Lloyd Hall, Elgin, Illinois, chemist (contributed to the science of food preservation (amassed 59 U.S. patents))
  • 1924 Audie Murphy, Kingston, Texas, WWII hero/actor (Destry, Joe Butterfly)
  • 1924 Chet Atkins, Luttrell, Tennessee, guitarist (Me & My Guitar) / record producer
  • 1928 Martin Landau, Brooklyn, New York, actor (Tucker: The Man and His Dream, Crimes and Misdemeanors, The Red Maple Leaf)
  • 1942 Brian Wilson, Inglewood, California, musician (The Beach Boys)
  • 1945 Anne Murray, Nova Scotia, Canada, singer (Snow Bird)
  • 1946 Bob Vila, home improvement television show host (This Old House, Restore America, Bob Vila’s Home Again, Bob Vila)
  • 1950 Lionel Richie, Tuskegee, Alabama, singer (Commodores)
  • 1952 John Goodman, Affton, Missouri, actor (The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Monsters, Inc., The Monuments Men, Alpha House, Kong: Skull Island)
  • 1967 Nicole Kidman, Honolulu, Hawaii, American-born Australian actress (Moulin Rouge!, Batman Forever, Happy Feet, Rabbit Hole, Big Little Lies)
  • 1971 Josh Lucas, Little Rock, Arkansas, actor (Poseiden, Sweet Home Alabama, A Beautiful Mind, Glory Road, The Firm, The Mysteries of Laura)
  • 1986 Dreama Walker, Tampa, Florida, actress (Gossip Girl, The Good Wife, Don’t Trust The B—- in Apartment 23, Doubt)

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Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1782 The U.S. Congress adopts the Great Seal of the United States.
  • 1840 Samuel Morse receives the patent for the telegraph.
  • 1863 West Virginia admitted as 35th US state.
  • 1877 World’s first commercial telephone service in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada by Alexander Graham Bell.
  • 1893 Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother.
  • 1944 World War II: The Battle of the Philippine Sea concludes with a decisive U.S. naval victory. The lopsided naval air battle is also known as the “Great Marianas Turkey Shoot”.
  • 1948 Toast of the Town, later The Ed Sullivan Show, makes its television debut.
  • 1963 “Red telephone” established between Soviet Union and United States following the Cuban Missile Crisis.
  • 1990 Asteroid Eureka is discovered.
  • 2003 The WikiMedia Foundation is founded in St. Petersburg, Florida.

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A dietitian is addressing an audience in the retirement home. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can have pesticide residues, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the impurities in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have eaten it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after you eat it?”

A 75-year-old man In the front row stands up and says, “Wedding cake!”
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A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.”

The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”
The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.”

“Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient.
“No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”
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ONE-LINERS: Bumper Snickers
~ I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
~ Fight crime – Shoot back.
~ Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
~ Clear the Road I AM SIXTEEN.
~ He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
~ I got this motor home for my wife. Best deal I ever made.
~ Hang up and drive.
~ If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Over… [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep].
~ If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
~ Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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Mail Pouch Barn by David Wilson
Mail Pouch barn
West Virginia Fact: Outdoor advertising had its origin in Wheeling, West Virginia, about 1908 when the Block Brothers Tobacco Company painted bridges and barns with the wording: “Treat Yourself to the Best, Chew Mail Pouch.”
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Transcript of a radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland:

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees North — that’s one five degrees North — or countermeasures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. “Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?” he asked.

“Well, I think I do.” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ The college professor was in a terrible car accident. Seems he was grading papers on a curve.
~ As the the father porcupine said to his son just before spanking him, “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.
~ A street performer was taken to the hospital with burns on his face. Using only gestures, he explained to the Doctor that someone in the crowd was unhappy with his act and attacked him with pepper spray, which apparently reacted with his white face paint and caused the burns.
The Doctor shook his head and said, “A mime is a terrible thing to mace.”
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We were staying at a country resort and became friendly with the handyman. “My neighbor has a nice little cottage for sale, case you’re interested,” he told us.
Despite its run-down appearance, we fell in love with the place and bought it “as is.”

The day we moved in, our handyman friend dropped by. “You got a good buy, ” he admitted. “Cottage needs some
work though. Roof leaks, plumbing’s shot and the well runs dry in the summer.”
Dismayed, I retorted, “Why didn’t you tell us that before we bought it?”
“Weren’t neighbors then.”
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It was High School Graduation Day. The parents and graduates were all standing around chatting after the ceremony. Richard and his parents were having their picture taken by a professional photographer.

The photographer directed, “Okay, stand a little closer to the tree, but remain in the sunlight. Richard, stand between your mother and father. That’s right. Put your hand on your father’s shoulder. Make it look natural.”

“If you really want to make it look natural,” the father said, “have Richard with his hand in my pocket pulling out my wallet.”
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John, my high school-aged son came home from his girlfriend’s house.
George, my other son was home from college and immediately started teasing him. I admit, I joined in a little, too.

After a while John said, “I’m going back to Sarah’s house. They like me over at Sarah’s house.”
Immediately George replies, “We like you over at Sarah’s house, too, John.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: It’s West Virginia Day! Here’s some facts about West Virginia. . .

~ Did you know West Virginia is the only state in the Union to have acquired its sovereignty by proclamation of the President of the United States?

~ Belonging everywhere and nowhere: West Virginia is considered the most southern northern state and the most northern southern state.

~ Jackson’s Mill is the site of the first 4-H Camp in the United States.

~ The first state sales tax in the United States went into effect in West Virginia on July 1, 1921.

~ The first federal prison exclusively for women in the United States was opened in 1926 in West Virginia.

~ A bridge too far… The New River Gorge Bridge near Fayetteville, West Virginia, is the second highest steel arch bridge in the United States. With an arch 1,700 feet long, it was for many years the world’s longest single-span arch bridge, but is now the fourth longest. Every October on Bridge Day, the road is closed and individuals parachute and bungee cord jump 876 feet off the bridge. Its West Virginia’s largest single day event.

~ Civil War: The first major land battle fought between Union and Confederate soldiers in the Civil War was the Battle of Philippi on June 3, 1861.

~ One of the nation’s oldest and largest Indian burial grounds is located in Moundsville. Its 69 feet high, 900 feet in circumference, and 50 feet high. An inscribed stone was removed from the vault and is on display at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C.

~ The first rural free mail delivery was started in Charles Town on October 6, 1896, and then spread throughout the United States.

~ Apples of West Virginia: A variety of the yellow apple, the Golden Delicious, originated in Clay County. The original Grimes Golden Apple Tree was discovered in 1775 near Wellsburg.

~ Always in D.C. – Stone that was quarried near Hinton was contributed by West Virginia for the Washington Monument and arrived in Washington in February 1885.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. – Miles Kington

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. – Henry Ford

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