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June 26th

“Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased. It comes out of heaven, unasked and unsought.” ― Pearl S. Buck


TODAY – JUNE 26th

177th day of the year (178th in leap years) with 188 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Forgiveness Day
~ National Beautician’s Day
~ National Chocolate Pudding Day
~ National Coconut Day
~ National Parchment Day (celebrate using parchment in the kitchen!)
~ International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking
~ International Day in Support of Victims of Torture
~ World Refrigeration Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1892 Pearl S. Buck, Hillsboro, West Virginia, author (Nobel / The Good Earth)
  • 1913 Maurice Wilkes, British computer scientist (Microprogramming)
  • 1937 Robert Coleman Richardson, Washington D.C, physicist (superfluidity in helium-3)
  • 1943 John Beasley, Omaha, Nebraska, actor (Everwood, The Sum of All Fears, Walking Tall, The Soul Man, Shots Fired)
  • 1953 Robert Davi, Astoria, Queens, New York, actor (Die Hard, The Goonies, Showgirls, Licence to Kill, Profiler, Spreading Darkness, The Expendables 3)
  • 1970 Sean Hayes, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Will & Grace, The Bucket List, Sean Saves the World, Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure)
  • 1970 Chris O’Donnell, Winnetka, Illinois, actor (Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, NCIS: Los Angeles)
  • 1970 Nick Offerman, Minooka, Illinois, actor (Parks and Recreation, Axe Cop, Fargo, The Founder, Comrade Detective)
  • 1980 Jason Schwartzman, Los Angeles, California, actor (Rushmore, Bored to Death, Saving Mr. Banks, Mozart in the Jungle)

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“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.” ― Pearl S. Buck
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1870 The Christian holiday of Christmas is declared a federal holiday in the United States.
  • 1917 The first U.S. troops arrive in France to fight alongside Britain and France against Germany in World War I.
  • 1934 Credit Unions are established by President Franklin D. Roosevelt upon signing the Federal Credit Union Act.
  • 1945 The United Nations Charter is signed in San Francisco.
  • 1963 Shortly after Soviet-supported East Germany erected the Berlin Wall, U.S. President John F. Kennedy gave his “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech, underlining the support of the United States for democratic West Germany.
  • 1974 The Universal Product Code is scanned for the first time to sell a package of Wrigley’s chewing gum at the Marsh Supermarket in Troy, Ohio.
  • 2008 The U.S. Supreme Court rules in District of Columbia v. Heller that the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution protects an individual right, and that the District of Columbia handgun ban is unconstitutional.
  • 2015 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled, 5–4, that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marriage under the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution.

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One of my husband’s duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, “There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!”

Checking to see that he had everyone’s attention, he asked, “What is the first rule?”

Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, “Shut up, Drill Sergeant!”

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One day, a man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking lamp. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. “For releasing me from the lamp, I will grant you three wishes,” said the Genie. The man was ecstatic.

“But there’s a catch,” the Genie continued.
“What catch?” asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.

The Genie replied, “For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for”.
“Hey, I can live with that! No problem!” replied the elated man.

“Then what is your first wish?” asked the Genie. “Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!” POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. “Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris,” said the Genie. “What is your next wish?”

“I could really use a million dollars … “ replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. “Now, every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer,” the Genie reminded the man.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got MY million,” replied the man.

“And what is your final wish?” asked the Genie. The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney … .”
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ONE-LINERS:

~”Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it’s students!”
~”According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.”
~”Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.”

~”How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?”
~Seen on a woman’s car: “Men call us birds, we pick up worms”
~”Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.”

~”Give me ambiguity or give me something else.”
~”Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?”
~”I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.”
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It seems that every time John, our piano tuner, comes to our house, he scolds me for waiting too long between tunings. I agree with him that it should be done every six months, but I don’t really think about it until the piano sounds off-key. Last time he came over, I was on the defensive.

“If you would send out a postcard reminder like the dentist,” I declared, “I would make sure to call you for an appointment in a timely fashion.”

Without hesitating, he replied, “From now on, when the dentist sends you a postcard, call me.”
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A Feline Dictionary . . .
~ Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
~ Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.
~ Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
~ Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.
~ Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.
~ Purrson: A male kitty.
~ Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.
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PICTURE OF THE DAY: Baby Rabbit

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Golden Oldie… A grandmother took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy out to sea!

The grandmother fell on her knees and cried to the heavens: “Please, Lord, return my grandson! Please! PLEASE!!!”

Lo and behold, a wave swelled from the ocean and deposited the drenched child at her feet. She checked him over head to toe. He was fine!

The grandmother looked up to the heavens again and said sternly: “He had a hat.”
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A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, “Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something about this storm?”

To which he replied, “Sorry ma’am, I’m in sales, not management.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
~ Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
~ I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
~ Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

~ I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
~ A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
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A secretary, an administrator and a manager in a City firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Poof! She’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the administrator. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
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“I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband.”
“What seems to be the problem, madam?”
“He’s still not seeing things my way.”
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.”
You’re never 36 and a half….you’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number.

“How old are you?”
“I’m gonna be 16.” You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16. Eventually.

Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony You BECOME 21….Yes!!!!!

Then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. What’s wrong? What changed? You BECOME 21; you TURN 30.

Then you’re PUSHING 40….stay over there.
You REACH 50.

You BECOME 21; you TURN 30; You’re PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60. By then you’ve built up so much speed, you HIT 70.
After that, it’s a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday…

You get into your 80’s; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. My Grandmother won’t even buy green bananas. “Well, it’s an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one.”

And it doesn’t end there….
Into the 90’s, you start going backwards. “I was JUST 92.”
Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half.”
Happy aging!
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: More about Forgiveness Day . . .

As the name implies, Forgiveness Day is a time to forgive and to be forgiven. This is considered such an important concept that it pops up in various forms during the year:

* Global Forgiveness Day was created in 1994 by the Christian Embassy for Christ’s Ambassadors. It originated in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada and is celebrated every July 7th.
* International Forgiveness Day was created by the World Forgiveness Alliance, a non-denominational, educational foundation and is “dedicated to evoking the healing power of forgiveness worldwide.” It is always observed the first Sunday in August.
* The Jewish celebration of Yom Kippur is a day of atonement or forgiving.
* In Christian religions, the first Sunday before Lent is called “Forgiveness Sunday”.

~ Upon what did Benjamin base his clock? Though he had never seen a clock, Benjamin Banneker (1731-1806) was able to make a clock in 1754 that ran accurately for a score of years. Banneker was a mathematician, astronomer, surveyor of the District of Columbia, and almanac publisher.

~ How old is the cockroach? Cockroaches have lived on the Earth for 250 million years. Many varieties, found today, look identical to the fossilized record of their ancestors.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: As you climb the ladder of success, check occasionally to make sure it is leaning against the right wall.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . “You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” ― Pearl S. Buck

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