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March 12th

The real opportunity for success lies within the person and not in the job. – Zig Ziglar


TODAY – MARCH 12th

71st day of the year (72nd in leap years) with 294 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Plant a Flower Day
~ National Girl Scouts Day
~ National Baked Scallops Day
~ National Nutrition Month
~ National Pancake Day (From 7 AM to 7 PM, IHOP is offering one free short stack of their Original Buttermilk Pancakes. Donate to help children battling critical illnesses. Each year since 2006, IHOP National Pancake Day has raised nearly $30 million.)
~ World Day Against Cyber Censorship
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1913 Agathe von Trapp, member of the Trapp family singers (eldest daughter), inspiration for “The Sound of Music
  • 1922 Jack Kerouac, Lowell, Massachusetts, author (considered literary iconoclast, pioneer of the Beat Generation; On the Road, Desolation Angels, Big Sur)
  • 1923 Wally Schirra, Hackensack, New Jersey, astronaut (only person to fly in all of American’s first three space programs: Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo)
  • 1925 Harry Harrison, Stamford, Connecticut, science fiction author (Stainless Steel Rat series; Make Room! Make Room – basis for film Soylent Green)
  • 1933 Barbara Feldon, Bethel Park, Pennsylvania actress and model (Get Smart)
  • 1938 Johnny Rutherford, Coffeyville, Kansas, auto racer (won Indianapolis 500 in 1974, 1976 & 1980)
  • 1938 Lew DeWitt, Roanoke, Virginia, country singer and songwriter (tenor for The Statler Brothers; Flowers on the Wall, The Movies)
  • 1946 Frank Welker, Denver, Colorado, voice actor (one of highest grossing actors; Scooby-Doo, SuperFriends, The Real Ghostbusters, The Smurfs, Species, Transformers, Road Runner, K-9 & many more!)
  • 1946 Liza Minnelli, Hollywood, California, singer and actress (Cabaret, Arthur, Junie Moon)
  • 1948 James Taylor, Boston, Massachusetts, musician (Fire and Rain, You’ve Got A Friend, Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight)
  • 1950 Jon Provost, Los Angeles, California, actor (Timmy in Lassie; The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, The New Lassie)
  • 1968 Aaron Eckhart, Cupertino, California, actor (Erin Brockovich, Thank You for Smoking, The Dark Knight, The Core, London Has Fallen)
  • 1982 Samm Levine, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Freaks and Geeks, Movie Trivia Schmoedown)
  • 1984 Jaimie Alexander, Greenville, South Carolina, actress (Kyle XY, Thor, The Last Stand, Blindspot)

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I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it. – Charles Schulz

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1912 The Girl Guides (later renamed the Girl Scouts of the USA) are founded in the United States.
  • 1918 Moscow becomes the capital of Russia again after Saint Petersburg held this status for 215 years.
  • 1928 In California, the St. Francis Dam fails; the resulting floods kill over 600 people.
  • 1930 Mahatma Gandhi leads a 200-mile march, known as the Salt March, to the sea in defiance of British opposition, to protest the British monopoly on salt.
  • 1933 Great Depression: Franklin D. Roosevelt addresses the nation for the first time as President of the United States. This is also the first of his “fireside chats”.
  • 1947 The Truman Doctrine is proclaimed to help stem the spread of Communism.
  • 1964 New Hampshire becomes the first U.S. state to legally sell lottery tickets in the 20th century.
  • 2009 Financier Bernard Madoff plead guilty in New York to scamming $18 billion, the largest in Wall Street history.
  • 2011 A reactor at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant melts and explodes and releases radioactivity into the atmosphere a day after Japan’s earthquake.

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A fellow hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring their children.

All during dinner one co-worker’s tiny daughter stared at the man sitting across from her.

The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.

The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her staring.  He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him.  He asked her, “Sweetie, why are you staring at me?”

The table went quiet for her response.

The little girl said, “I just want to see how you drink like a fish!”

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A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. He ordered a cheeseburger, coffee, and a slice of apple pie.

As he was about to eat, three motorcycles pulled up outside. The bikers came in, and one grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down the apple pie.

The truck driver didn’t say a word. He simply got up, paid the cashier, and left.

When he was gone, one of the motorcyclists said, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”

“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the cashier replied, “He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.”

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ONE-LINERS: Texting Codes for Seniors:
ATD- At the Doctor’s
BFF – Best Friend’s Funeral
BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM- Covered by Medicare
CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center

DWI- Driving While Incontinent
FWBB – Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

FMI- Found My Insulin
GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA – Got Heartburn Again

HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL- Living on Lipitor
LWO- Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR- On My Massage Recliner

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFLCGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing, Can’t Get Up!
TOT- Texting on Toilet

TTYL – Talk to You Louder
WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again

WTP- Where’re the Prunes
WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
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pic of the day: Wolffia, or Duckweeds

Duckweed or Wolffia
by Christian Fischer
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Unfortunate names that parents give their Children

Girls Names
Teresa Green
Nora Bone
Dee Zaster
Robyn Banks
Rosie Peach
Penny Wise
Ima Kettle
Dan Druff

Boys Names
Justin Case
Mike Stand
Seymour Legg
Sean Head
Tim Burr
Ash Hull

Either Gender
Sandy Banks
Shandy Lear
Rusty Nails
Robin Plunder

Girls have an extra hazard, they could marry into a tricky name.  For example, Annette Brown marries Joe Curtain and becomes A Net Curtain.
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A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy conditions should take:

– Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag
– Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves
– 24 hours supply of food and drink
– De-icer
– 5 kgs of rock salt
– Torch or lantern with spare batteries
– Road flares and reflective triangles
– Tow rope
– 5 gallon petrol can
– First aid kit
– Jump leads

I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning.
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My forgetter’s getting better
But my rememberer is broke.
To you that may seem funny, but to me, that is no joke!

For when I’m “here” I’m wondering
If I really should be “there.”
And when I try to think it through, I haven’t got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say, “What am I here for?”
I wrack my brain, but all in vain…
A zero is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, gee!
The person it is safest from is generally me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say “Hi,” and have a chat.
Then, when the person walks away,
I ask myself, “Who’s that?”

Yes, my forgetter’s getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it’s driving me plumb crazy,
And that isn’t any joke!
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After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, “The choir was awful this morning.”
The father commented, “The sermon was too long.”
Their 7-year-old daughter added, “You’ve got to admit it was a pretty good show for only a dollar.”
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The Invisible Man’s favorite …
… soup: Vanishing cream of mushroom.
… drink: Evaporated milk.
… game: Etch A Sketch (it makes images disappear)
… article of clothing: See-Through Panty Hose.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Plant a flower…
~ The rose is the best-known symbol of beauty and love. Red roses mean I love you. A single rose signifies simplicity. In 1986 Congress voted to make the rose America’s national flower.
~ The World’s Largest Flower — The Titan Arum is not only the world’s largest flower it is also the world’s smelliest.
~ The World’s Smallest Flower — A bouquet of a dozen Wolffia blooms would comfortably fit on the head of a pin.  Commonly called watermeal or duckweed, these aquatic plants resemble specks of cornmeal floating on the water.

~ What is World Day Against Cyber Censorship? This special day was first observed in 2008 at the request of Reporters Without Borders and Amnesty International. It is a day to rally support for a single, unrestricted Internet that is accessible to all and to draw attention to the ways that governments around the world are deterring and censoring free speech online. This day is symbolized by a logo created by Reporters Without Borders consisting of a computer mouse breaking free from a chain.

~ How many countries are considered to censor the internet? Reporters without Borders, a Paris-based international non-governmental organization that advocates freedom of the press, started publishing “Enemies of the Internet”, a list showing countries that “mark themselves out not just for their capacity to censor news and information online but also for their almost systematic repression of Internet users.” As of 2014, there were 19 countries considered to be Current Enemies of the Internet and 11 Current Countries Under Surveillance.

~ Is the United States considered an Enemy of the Internet? It may (or may not!) surprise you to know that the United States has been on the Enemies of the Internet list since 2014 (so much for land of the free…). According to Reporters Without Borders 2017 World Press Freedom Index that lists 180 countries in order from best (#1) to worst (#180), the United States is 43rd on the list. Canada is considered to have more freedom and is only 22nd on the list though it has dropped 4 places since 2016, whereas the U.S. has only dropped 2 places.

~ Who is considered the worst Enemy of the Internet? You may have guessed this one already… sitting clear at the bottom of the list, number 180, is North Korea.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: You can’t be truly rude until you understand good manners. – Rita Mae Brown

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. – Oprah Winfrey

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