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March 14th

One filled with joy preaches without preaching. – Mother Teresa

TODAY – MARCH 14TH

73rd day of the year (74th in leap years) with 292 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Learn about Butterflies Day
~ National Pi Day – Why today? Because today is 3.14, the value of Pi.
~ National Potato Chip Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1862 Vilhelm Bjerknes, Norwegian physicist, founded the modern practice of weather forecasting
  • 1863 [John] Casey Jones, Jackson, Tennessee, railroad engineer (Ballad of Casey Jones)
  • 1879 Albert Einstein, German-American, theoretical physicist (Nobel /discovered the theory of general relativity, effecting a revolution in physics)
  • 1908 Ed Heinemann, Saginaw, Michigan, aircraft designer (Douglas Aircraft/20 designs)
  • 1914 Lee Petty, Randleman, North Carolina, race car driver (pioneer of NASCAR)
  • 1920 Hank Ketcham, Seattle, Washington, cartoonist, created Dennis the Menace
  • 1928 Frank Borman, Gary, Indiana, astronaut (Commander Apollo 8, first to fly around moon)
  • 1933 Michael Caine, England, actor (Blame it on Rio, Alfie, Educating Rita, Sleuth, Interstellar, The Last Witch Hunter)
  • 1934 Eugene A Cernan, Chicago, Illinois, Captain USN/astronaut (Gemini 9A, Apollo 10 &17; 1 of only 12 men to walk on moon)
  • 1948 Billy Crystal, New York City, New York, actor and comedian (When Harry Met Sally, City Slickers, Monsters Inc., Monsters University, The Comedian)
  • 1957 Tad Williams, San Jose, California, author (Otherland & Shadowmarch series; The War of the Flowers; The Ordinary Farm series)
  • 1979 Chris Klein, Hinsdale, Illinois, actor (American Pie ,American Pie 2. Wilfred, Game of Aces)

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Friendship is like an empty glass. It fills with love & shares with others. Handle it carefully! Once broken, it cannot be rejoined. – Shaijan P.T.
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1794 Eli Whitney patented the cotton gin.
  • 1900 The Gold Standard Act is ratified, placing United States currency on the gold standard.
  • 1942 Orvan Hess and John Bumstead became the first in the world to successfully treat a patient, Anne Miller, using penicillin.
  • 1964 A jury in Dallas, Texas, finds Jack Ruby guilty of killing Lee Harvey Oswald, assumed assassin of John F. Kennedy.
  • 1967 The body of President John F. Kennedy is moved to a permanent burial place at Arlington National Cemetery.
  • 1995 Astronaut Norman Thagard becomes the first American astronaut to ride to space on-board a Russian launch vehicle.

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It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said. A girl’s voice came over the line. “Can I speak to Ben, please?” I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message?”

“Do you know what time he’ll be back?” she responded.
“I think he said he’d be home around 10:00.”
Silence on the other end… a confused silence.

“Is this Steve?”
My name isn’t Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.
So I replied, “Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?”

“Well… he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,” she said in a slightly irritated voice.
I replied, “Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00.”

A shocked voice now: “Who’s Karen?!”
“The girl he went out with.”

“I know that! I mean… who is she?”
“I don’t know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?”

“Yes… please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home.”
She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. “I sure will. Is this Jennifer?”

She exploded, “Who’s Jennifer?”
Apparently she wasn’t.
“Well… he’s going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry… it was an honest mistake.”

“Ben’s the one that’s made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she’s very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home.”
I smiled and said, “Okay, I will… but Becky isn’t going to like this…”
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My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.

“The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don’t want to put up with it,” she explained.

Taking her mother’s hand in hers, my friend’s daughter said sweetly, “I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you’re not exactly carry-on yourself.”
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ONE-LINERS:

~I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

~I just bought a microwave fireplace… You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes…

~Today I dialed a wrong number….The other side said ‘Hello?’ and I said, ‘Hello, could I speak to Joey?’…they said, ‘Uh…I don’t think so…he’s only 2 months old.’ I said, ‘I’ll wait…’

~Right now I’m having deja vu and amnesia at the same time.

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A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”

The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”
With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?”

The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial?”
“See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch…”

The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father.
“Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You’ve got lot of guts calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard.

The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger.”
The father dialed the same number three more times, with increasingly furious responses. Finally he said, “Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.”

He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared, “Hello!”
The father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”
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pic of the day: Carnivorous Pitcher Plants

carnivorous pitcher plants
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Once upon a time in old France there was a small vineyard run by a coven of witches.

The grapes that grew there were used exclusively for the production of raisins, and were always harvested under a full moon to preserve the magic properties some of them had.

The witches believed that one full moon in seven was a bad one, and while the raisins made from grapes harvested under a good moon were ordinary (albeit of high quality) and mostly went to general consumption (witches have to make a living too, you know), grapes harvested under a bad moon would rot – with one exception: The biggest and strongest of the grapes would survive to become the legendary…. “Bad Moon Raisin”.
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Jill’s car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls.

“What happened this time?” he asked.
“My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?”

“Where are you?” John asked.
“I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded.

“And where’s the car?” John asked.
Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”
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Marilyn, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, “When was Rome built?” and called on Timothy to answer first.
“Rome was built at night.” was his answer.

“At night?” asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. “How ever did you get such an idea?”
“Well,” gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, “everyone knows Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
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A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cab driver explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.
The Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that thing up in two weeks!”

Next they passed the House of Parliament – started in 1544 and completed in 1618.
“Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!”

As they passed Westminster Abbey the cab driver was silent.
“Whoah! What’s that over there?” asked the Texan.

The driver replied, “I don’t know, it wasn’t there yesterday.”
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Three tourists climbed up the tower with London’s Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.

The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.

“How did you do that?” asked one of his friends.

“My watch is 30 minutes slow.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Which were the first adhesive stamps? The earliest adhesive postage stamps in the world were the “Penny Blacks” of the United Kingdom, bearing the head of Queen Victoria, placed on sale on May 1 for use on May 6, 1840.

~ What is another name for pitcher plants? These plants are also called “monkey cups” because monkeys have been observed drinking rainwater from these plants.

~ How long have we enjoyed Chicken á la King? Chicken á la King, a dish of diced chicken in a cream and sherry sauce, was originally chicken á la Keene, and only later was corrupted to suggest a royal provenance. Several parties lay claim to the dish’s name origin, the most prevalent being London’s Claridge’s Hotel claim that the Keene in question was equestrian J. R. Keene and said its chef had created the dish to memorialize his 1881 Grand Prix victory.

~ How long will that bottle of Whisky last? A closed bottle of Whisky can be kept for more than 100 years and it’s still good to drink. Once it is opened and it’s half full you can save it for about 5 years. If it’s containing less, than drink it and don’t save it.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Good judgment comes from experience; and experience, well, that comes from bad judgment. – Anonymous

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult of all. – Johann von Goethe

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