When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu
TODAY – MARCH 25th
84th day of the year (85th in leap years) with 281 days to follow.
Holidays for Today:
~ International Day of the Unborn Child
~ National Lobster Newburg Day
~ National Medal of Honor Day
~ Pecan Day (commemorates planting a pecan tree by George Washington at the Mount Vernon estate March 25th, 1775)
~ Tolkien Reading Day
~ Waffle Day (began in Sweden and historically marks the beginning of spring)
~ Maryland Day (legal holiday in Maryland, (settlers from The Ark & The Dove first stepped foot onto Maryland soil)
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1867 Arturo Toscanini, Italian conductor (first director of NBC Symphony Orchestra 1937-54)
- 1884 Georges Imbert, French chemist (developed the wood gas generator for the automobile that was commonly used in Europe)
- 1918 Howard Cosell, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, sports reporter
- 1920 Patrick Troughton, English actor (2nd Dr. Who / 1966-1969)
- 1925 Flannery O’Connor, Savannah, Georgia, author (Wise Blood, The Complete Stories)
- 1928 Jim Lovell, Cleveland, Ohio, NASA astronaut (Gemini 7, Gemini 12, Apollo 8, Apollo 13)
- 1932 Gene Shalit, New York City, NY, film & book critic
- 1934 Gloria Steinem, Toledo, Ohio, feminist and publisher (co-founded Ms. magazine)
- 1937 Tom Monaghan, Ann Arbor, Michigan, businessman (founded Domino’s Pizza)
- 1942 Aretha Franklin, Memphis, Tennessee, singer
- 1946 Stephen Hunter, Kansas City, Missouri, author (Bob Lee Swagger series, Soft Target)
- 1947 Elton John, English singer and songwriter
- 1958 James McDaniel, Washington, D.C., actor (NYPD Blue, Detroit 1-8-7)
- 1964 Kate DiCamillo, Philadelphia, PA, author (The Tale of Despereaux, Flora and Ulysses, Because of Winn-Dixie)
- 1965 Sarah Jessica Parker, Nelsonville, Ohio, actress (Sex and the City, The Family Stone, Failure to Launch, Glee)
- 1982 Danica Patrick, Beloit, Wisconsin, race car driver / GoDaddy ads
- 1984 Katharine McPhee, Los Angeles, singer and actress, one of the lead actresses on Smash (American Idol in 2006 )
- 1999 Tatum McCann, Riverside, California, actress (Smith, Click, The Time Traveler’s Wife, Neo Ned)
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. – Paul Boese
- 1584 Sir Walter Raleigh is granted a patent to colonize Virginia.
- 1634 The first settlers arrive in Maryland.
- 1655 Saturn’s largest moon, Titan, is discovered by Christiaan Huygens.
- 1807 The Swansea and Mumbles Railway, then known as the Oystermouth Railway, becomes the first passenger carrying railway in the world.
- 1811 Percy Bysshe Shelley is expelled from the University of Oxford for publishing the pamphlet The Necessity of Atheism.
- 1865 American Civil War: In Virginia, Confederate forces temporarily capture Fort Stedman from the Union.
- 1894 Coxey’s Army, the first significant American protest march, departs Massillon, Ohio for Washington D.C.
- 1911 In New York City, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire kills 146 garment workers.
- 1917 The Georgian Orthodox Church restores its autocephaly abolished by Imperial Russia in 1811.
- 1947 An explosion in a coal mine in Centralia, Illinois kills 111.
- 1948 The first successful tornado forecast predicts that a tornado will strike Tinker Air Force Base, Oklahoma.
- 1957 United States Customs seizes copies of Allen Ginsberg’s poem “Howl” on the grounds of obscenity.
- 1969 During their honeymoon, John Lennon and Yoko Ono hold their first Bed-In for Peace at the Amsterdam Hilton Hotel (until March 31).
- 1990 The Happy Land fire was an arson fire that kills 87 people trapped inside an illegal nightclub in the New York City borough of The Bronx.
- 1995 WikiWikiWeb, the world’s first wiki, and part of the Portland Pattern Repository, is made public by Ward Cunningham.
A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.
“Aw, Dad, it’s okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”
very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”
The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see,” replied the father-in-law.
“Well then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”
“I hate office work,” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”
“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”
“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out.”
ONE-LINERS: UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
~ It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
~ It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
~ It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
~ There is great need for a sarcasm font.
~ Just how in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
~ Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
~ Bad decisions make good stories.
~ Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
~ I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
~ I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
~ I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
~ I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires. “I’m leaving for the crusade. Here is the key to my wife’s chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven’t returned, you may use the key.”
The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe, and takes one last look at his castle.
He sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, “Stop! Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key.”
A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.
Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.” As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates.
The rabbi replied, “I don’t know about you, but in MY congregation, it’s my face they would recognize.”
pic of the day: Gore Canyon on a Snowy Morning
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out,
“Watch the wall!”
GOLDEN OLDIE… A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday and said, “I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs.”
I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish – on ANY land! No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear?”
I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull in the field. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer. The officer was clearly terrified.”
I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs, “Your badge, show him your BADGE!!”
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
As I sat at the bar waiting for the bartender to serve me, the guy next to me said to the bartender, “I’ll have another Waterloo.”
The bartender delivered a tall ice cold drink, then he asked me what I wanted. I’d never heard of a “Waterloo” but I was very thirsty and the other guy’s drink looked very good, so I said “I’ll have a Waterloo.”
The bartender gave me a tall ice cold drink. I took a big drink and said, “Hey! This drink is so weak it tastes just like water!”
The other guy looked at the bartender and said, “What did he expect? It *is* water. Right, Lou?”
A woman was looking for a used car to buy and saw an ad in the classifieds. It read: Brand new 1995 Mercedes Benz, slate blue, loaded , etc. Sell for $150.00.
She was astonished and decided to call the seller and check it out. The woman selling the car was glad to show it to her and, to her surprise, the car was in perfect condition.
She asked the woman, “What’s the catch? Why are you selling this car so cheaply?”
“Well,” she said, “it’s my husband’s car actually, and he recently ran off with his young secretary. I got a telegram from him last week that read: ‘In Miami. Need money. Sell car’.”
There are a lot of folks that cannot understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.
Well, here is the answer: It is simple……… nobody bothered to check the oil.
How did not know we were getting low?
And of course the reason for that is geographical.
Most of the oil is in Alaska, Oklahoma, and Texas, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, DC.
Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the wilds of Alaska for a week of elk hunting, just the same as they did the year before.
When the pilot returned with the plane Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the pilot, “We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four elk!”
The pilot regretfully explained, “Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the weight of two elk. You’ll have to leave the other two behind.”
Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. “We won’t allow you to fly this plane out without all four elk,” Jake demanded.
The eager to please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three of them and their four elk. About fifteen minutes into the flight the engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the ground.
Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, “Do you have any idea where we are?”
Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, “Yes! We’re about a mile from where we crashed last year.”
Squirrels had overrun three churches in town. After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined that the animals were predestined to be there. “Who are we to interfere with God’s will?” they reasoned. Soon, the squirrels multiplied.
The elders of the second church, deciding that they could not harm any of God’s creatures, humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
It was only the third church that succeeded in keeping the pests away. The elders baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
TODAY’S TRIVIA: What makes the pecan special to the United States? It is the only nut tree native to North America.
~ Where is Gore Canyon? This short isolated canyon is located on the upper Colorado River in southwestern Grand County, Colorado. The steep and rugged canyon, approximately 3 miles long, was carved by the river as it passed the northern end of the Gore Range southwest of Kremmling.
~ How tall are the walls of Gore Canyon? The steep walls ascend approximately 1,000 ft (300 m) on either side.
~ How do you get to Gore Canyon? The canyon is roadless and inaccessible by most traffic, except for the Union Pacific Railroad’s Moffat Subdivision and whitewater boats. The California Zephyr from AMTRAK also travels through the canyon.
~ Is there any other way to see Gore Canyon? Although the canyon is not directly accessible by roads, it is possible to view part of the canyon from the Grand County road (CR 1, or Trough Road) that passes along its southern rim, as part of the Colorado Headwaters Scenic Byway.
~ Why is Gore Canyon so famous? White Water! “Captain” Samuel Adams considered it unnavigable by boat during his expedition in the 19th century. The construction of the railroad has added boulders and other hazards that have since made the river even more difficult.
~ When was Gore Canyon first rafted? In the 1970s, and now it is even available as a commercial river raft trip. Most outfitters agree that Gore Canyon’s whitewater is the wildest commercially available whitewater rafting in the state of Colorado, and perhaps in the nation. Those who are brave enough to raft or kayak Gore Canyon will run rapids such as Pyrite, Tunnel Falls, and Gore Rapid. This is true wild water, so for those who are not expert river runners, Gore Canyon is considered a very dangerous section of the Colorado River.
QUIP OF THE DAY: Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . .
In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love. – Diego Marchi