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March 28th

Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble. – Carl Jung


TODAY – MARCH 28th

87th day of 2017 with 278 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Black Forest Cake Day
~ National Respect Your Cat Day
~ National Something on a Stick Day
~ National Triglycerides Day
~ National Weed Appreciation Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1836 Frederick Pabst, German-American brewer (Pabst Brewing Company)
  • 1899 August Anheuser Busch, Jr., St. Louis, Missouri, brewing magnate (Anheuser-Busch)/ baseball executive (St. Louis Cardinals)
  • 1905 Marlin Perkins, Carthage, Missouri, naturalist/ TV host (Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom)
  • 1941 Charlie McCoy, Oak Hill, West Virginia, harmonica player (Hee Haw; backed several notable musicians including Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Tom Astor, Elvis Presley and Ween)
  • 1943 Conchata Ferrell, Charleston, West Virginia, actress (Deadly Hero, For Keeps, Susan-LA Law, Berta-Two & a Half Men)
  • 1948 Dianne Wiest, Kansas City MO, actress (D.A. Nora Lewin- Law & Order, Radio Days, Hannah & Her Sisters, Footloose, Robots, Rabbit Hole, Life in Pieces)
  • 1955 Reba McEntire, McAlester, Oklahoma, country singer (Can’t Even Get the Blues), actor (Tremors, Annie Get Your Gun, Reba)
  • 1970 Vince Vaughn, Minneapolis, Minnesota, actor (Old School, Starsky & Hutch, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Couples Retreat, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Wedding Crashers, Hacksaw Ridge)
  • 1981 Julia Stiles, New York City, New York, actress (10 Things I Hate About You , The Business of Strangers, Jason Bourne)
  • 1986 Lady GaGa, New York City, New York, singer-songwriter and dancer ( Poker Face, Just Dance, Bad romance)

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It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities. – Eric Hoffer
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1834 The United States Senate censures President Andrew Jackson for his actions in de-funding the Second Bank of the United States.
  • 1910 Henri Fabre becomes the first person to fly a seaplane, the Fabre Hydravion, after taking off from a water runway near Martigues, France.
  • 1930 Constantinople and Angora change their names to Istanbul and Ankara.
  • 1959 The State Council of the People’s Republic of China dissolves the Government of Tibet.
  • 1979 Nuclear Incident: Operators of Three Mile Island’s Unit 2 nuclear reactor outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania fail to recognize that a relief valve in the primary coolant system has stuck open following an unexpected shutdown. As a result, enough coolant drains out of the system to allow the core to overheat and partially melt down.
  • 1990 President George H. W. Bush posthumously awards Jesse Owens the Congressional Gold Medal.

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A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.

“Aw, Dad, it’s probably okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us just did the same thing.”
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I’m dyslexic and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I’m tense.

When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, “Now I know why you named your daughter Hannah.”
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ONE-LINERS:

~The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
~Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
~If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.

~If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
~If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

~Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
~I intend to live forever. So far so good.
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Bachelor cooking is a matter of attitude. If you think of it as setting fire to things and making a mess, it’s fun. However, it’s not so great if you think of it as dinner…

Nomenclature is an important part of bachelor cooking. If you call it “Italian cheese toast,” it’s not disgusting to have warmed-over pizza for breakfast.

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”

“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Auburn.”
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PIC OF THE DAY: In Honor of National Respect Your Cat Day
Respect Your Cat!
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Preacher: “This morning’s worship went well, but I just don’t think the sermon ever got off the ground.”
Preacher’s wife: “Well, it sure did taxi long enough.”
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A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
BAD NAMES TO GIVE YOUR KID…
~ Penny Wise
~ Ima Kettle
~ Dan Druff
~ Justin Case
~ Seymour Legg
~ Tim Burr
~ Sandy Banks
~ Shandy Lear
~ Rusty Nails
~ Robin Plunder
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A woman from the most southern part of South Carolina goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written.

The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is a dollar per word. She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, just let it read, ‘Billy Bob died’.”

Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am there is a seven word minimum on all obituaries.” A little flustered, she thinks things over and replies, “In that case, let it read,

‘Billy Bob died – Red truck for sale’.

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I was examining cantaloupes at the grocery store and turned to the produce clerk, who was refilling the bins.

“Choosing a cantaloupe is like picking a mate for marriage,” I observed casually. “A person has no idea what he’s getting until it’s too late.”

“I know,” he replied. “I’ve had three cantaloupes.”

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“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”

“Was he successful?”

“Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill.”
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Golden Oldie… There once was a rich man who was near death.He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So the rich man began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him. “Sorry Rich Man, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.

The angel reappears and informs the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suit-case with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Peter seeing the suitcase says, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!” But, the man explains to verify his story with the Lord.

Sure enough, Peter checks and comes back saying, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.” Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,

“You brought pavement?!?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Which is faster – the antelope or the cheetah? 
The pronghorn antelope is the fastest mammal to be found in North America, and second only to the cheetah as the fastest mammal on the planet.

~ What was Federico’s background? 
Italian director Federico Fellini was among the most intensely autobiographical film directors the cinema has known. After holding jobs as a crime reporter and a caricature artist, Fellini began his film career as a gag writer for Italian actor Aldo Fabrizi. He later turned to directing, and won the Foreign Language Film Oscar for Federico Fellini’s 8½, as well as the Cannes Film Festival Award for Best Film for La Dolce Vita. Often outspoken, Fellini once said, “The producer is an authoritarian figure who risks nothing, presumes to know public taste, and always wants to change the end of the film.”

~ Did 16th century Turks like their coffee? In Turkey, in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, anyone caught drinking coffee was put to death.

~ What does National Weed Appreciation Day celebrate?
No, we’re not talking about marijuana here. This day is to remind us that some weeds are beneficial to us and our ecosystem. Some are edible and nutritious while other weeds have medicinal value. Humans have used weeds for food and as herbs for much of recorded history.

~ What is National Something on a Stick Day?
Today is a food holiday for creating foods that can be eaten on a stick. Foods that come on a stick are fun and easy to eat.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth — not going all the way, and not starting. – Buddha

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