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March 30th

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell


TODAY – MARCH 30th

89th day of the year (90th in leap years) with 276 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Doctor’s Day
~ National “I Am in Control” Day
~ National Pencil Day
~ National Take A Walk In The Park Day
~ National Turkey Neck Soup Day
~ National Virtual Vacation Day
~ World Bipolar Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1820 Anna Sewell, British author (Black Beauty)
  • 1853 Vincent van Gogh, Netherlands, artist (Irises, Night Cafe, Starry Night)
  • 1891 Arthur William Sidney Herrington, East Suffolk, England, American engineer and manufacturer (developed a series of military vehicles; best known was the WWII jeep)
  • 1913 Frankie Laine, Chicago, Illinois, singer (Hey, Good Lookin’, That’s My Desire)/ actor (Frankie Laine Show, Rawhide)
  • 1926 Peter Marshall, Huntington, West Virginia, TV game show host (Hollywood Squares)
  • 1929 Richard Dysart, Boston, Massachusetts, actor (Leland MacKenzie-LA Law)
  • 1930 John Astin, Baltimore, Maryland, actor (I’m Dickens He’s Fenster, Gomez – Addams Family, Starship II: Rendezvous with Ramses)
  • 1937 Warren Beatty, Richmond, Virginia, actor (Bonnie & Clyde, Shampoo, Dick Tracy, Bugsy Bulworth)
  • 1945 Eric Clapton, England, legendary guitarist/singer (Yardbirds, Cream, Tears in Heaven)
  • 1957 Paul Reiser, New York City, New York, actor (Diner, Aliens, Beverly Hills Cop, My Two Dads, Mad About You, Whiplash, Concussion)
  • 1964 Ian Ziering, Newark, NJ, actor (Beverly Hills 90210, Biker Mice from Mars, Sharknado movies)
  • 1968 Celine Dion, Québec Canada, singer (I’m Your Woman)
  • 1970 Secretariat, Meadow Farm in Caroline County, Virginia, racehorse (1st U.S. Triple Crown champion in 25 years; set new race records in 2 of 3 events in the Series: Kentucky Derby (1:59 2/5), Belmont Stakes (2:24))
  • 1982 Jason Dohring, Toledo, Ohio, actor (Veronica Mars, Moonlight, Deep Impact, The Messenger, The Originals, Kingdom Hearts video game)

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In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior. – Sir Francis Bacon
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 240 BC First recorded perihelion passage of Halley’s Comet.
  • 1822 Florida Territory is created in the United States.
  • 1842 Anesthesia is used for the first time, in an operation by Dr. Crawford Long.
  • 1858 Hymen Lipman patents a pencil with an attached eraser.
  • 1950 Invention of phototransistor operated by light rather than electric current (by Dr. John Northrup Shive of the Bell Telephone Laboratories at Murray Hill, N.J.).
  • 1981 President Reagan shot in the chest by John W Hinckley Jr.
  • 1982 3rd space shuttle mission-Columbia 3 lands at White Sands NM.
  • 1990 Jack Nicklaus made his debut in the “Seniors” golf tournament.

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A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

“How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?”

“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”

“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”

“He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died.”

“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”

“He died of a broken neck.”

“A broken neck?”

“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”

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Did you know that according to the song, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, Santa has twelve reindeer?

Sure, in the introduction it goes “There’s Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen…” That makes eight reindeer.

Then there’s Rudolph, of course, so that makes nine.

Then there’s Olive. You know, “Olive the other reindeer used to laugh…” That makes ten.

The eleventh is Howe. You know, “Then Howe the reindeer loved him…” Eleven reindeer.

Oh, and number 12? That’s Andy! “Andy shouted out with glee.”

The proof is in the song!

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ONE-LINERS: Not the brightest bulbs in the lamp

..They studied for a blood test.
..They told me to meet them at the corner of “WALK” and “ONE WAY.”
..at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”, they put “Sagittarius.”

..They sold the car for gas money!
..They asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
..They thought they needed a token to get on “Soul Train.”

..if they spoke her mind, they’d be speechless.
..when they missed the 44 bus, they took the 22 bus twice instead.
..when they went to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left,” they turned around and went home.

..They think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
..They thought that they could not use their AM radio in the evening.
..when they heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, they moved.
..They had a shirt that said “TGIF,” which they thought stood for: This Goes In Front.
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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.”

The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”
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Stupid Criminal . . .

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth.

Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
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pic of the day: Bluebells (Mertensia virginica)


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One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.

He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies – two in the front seat and three in the back – wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks with concern.

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”
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A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.

Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.”

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

“Now what?”, the fellow asked the speechless pro.

“Uh… you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup” the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

The retiree replied, “Oh great! NOW you tell me!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A debt collector knocked on the door of a country family, that made their living weaving cloth.
“Is Jack home?” he asked the woman who answered the door.
“Im sorry,” the woman replied. “Jack’s gone for cotton.”

A few weeks later the collector tried again. “Is Jack here today?”
Once again the answer was “No, sir, I’m afraid he has gone for cotton.”

When he returned for the third time and Jack was still nowhere to be seen, he complained, “I suppose Jack is gone for cotton again?”
“No,” the woman answered solemnly, “Jack died yesterday.”

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Jack’s tombstone, with this inscription: …

“Gone, But Not for Cotton.”

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Five things you don’t want to hear from Tech Support:

1. “Duuuuuude! Bummer!”

2. “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”

3. “Your problem can be fixed, but you’re going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.”

4. “Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you’re with ’60 Minutes.’ Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”

5. “Hold on a second, please … Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”

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Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles’ bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

“I’m just an ordinary man,” he said, walking up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

The woman went home with Charles.

The next day she became his stepmother.

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A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. “Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.”

“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”

“No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian.”

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Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).

“And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked.

“Mother,” he replied, “they’re such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won’t stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night.”

“Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?”

“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: How fond was Byron of his geese? Lord Byron had four pet geese that he brought everywhere with him, even to social gatherings. Byron, though considered one of the most dashing and attractive men of his time, was overweight and had a club foot.

~ Which earthquake was more catastrophic: Kobe, Japan or Northridge, California? The 1994 Northridge earthquake had a magnitude of 6.7 and was responsible for approximately 60 deaths, 9,000 injuries and more than $40 billion in damage. The Kobe earthquake of 1995 was magnitude 6.8 and killed 5,530 people. There were 37,000 injuries and more than $100 billion in economic loss.

~ Why did people want to play like Benny? Benny Goodman was declared the “King of Swing.” He was so extraordinarily capable on the clarinet that he became the definitive clarinet musician in the world. During Goodman’s “reign,” a clarinet player had to play the instrument in Goodman’s style, or it was considered that he was not playing clarinet correctly. This created tremendous pressure for good clarinet players; they would have preferred to develop their own style instead of being a copy of Goodman.

~ How many pencils did John Steinbeck use when writing East of Eden? Steinbeck was an obsessive pencil user and is said to have used as many as 60 a day. His novel East of Eden took more than 300 pencils to write.

~ When was National Virtual Vacation Day founded? Terrance Talks Travel founded this holiday in 2016 to share the idea and potential of Virtual Vacations. You can check out info about the holiday here.

One way to enjoy a virtual vacation is to go to Google Earth, put in a destination, and view the scenery from there.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one. – Cavett Robert

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do it is increased. – Ralph W. Emerson

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