Pages Menu
Rss
Categories Menu

May 20th

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. – Thomas A Edison


TODAY – MAY 20th

140th day of the year (141st in leap years) with 225 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Be a Millionaire Day
~ National Pick Strawberries Day
~ National Quiche Lorraine Day
~ National Rescue Dog Day
~ Tails That Teach
~ World Metrology Day (celebrates signature by representatives of 17 nations at the Metre Convention 1875)
~ World Bee Day
~ Josephine Baker Day (NAACP)
~ Emancipation Day (Florida: In the capital, Tallahassee, Civil War re-enactors playing the part of Major General Edward McCook and other union soldiers act out the speech General McCook gave from the steps of the Knott House on May 20, 1865. This was the first reading of the Emancipation Proclamation in Florida.)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1759 William Thornton, West Indian-born architect (Capitol building, Washington DC)
  • 1768 Dolley Dandridge Payne Madison, New Garden, North Carolina, wife of James Madison/ First Lady of US (1809-17)
  • 1818 William George Fargo, Pompey, New York, co-founder of Wells Fargo
  • 1825 George Phillips Bond, Dorchester, Maine, astronomer (made first photo of a double star, discovered a number of comets, Saturn’s moon Hyperion, etc.)
  • 1908 Jimmy Stewart, Indiana, Pennsylvania, actor (Mr Smith Goes to Washington, Wonderful Life)
  • 1913 William Hewlett, Ann Arbor, Michigan, engineer (co-founder Hewlett-Packard Co.)
  • 1936 Anthony Zerbe, Long Beach, California, actor (The Omega Man, License to Kill, Harry O, American Hustle, The Matrix Reloaded)
  • 1940 Shorty Long, Birmingham, Alabama, musician (R&B, soul)
  • 1946 Cher, El Centro, California, singer/ actress (Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, Silkwood, Moonstruck)
  • 1956 Dean Butler, Canadian/American, actor (Almanzo Wilder on Little House on the Prairie)
  • 1959 Bronson Pinchot, New York City, New York, actor (Perfect Strangers, Beverly Hills Cop, The Bronson Pinchot Project, The Strike)
  • 1960 John Billingsley, Media, Pennsylvania, actor (Dr. Phlox/ST Enterprise, True Blood, 2012, TURN: Washington’s Spies)
  • 1960 Tony Goldwyn, Los Angeles, California, actor (The Last Samauri, Ghost, voice/Tarzan, Scandal)
  • 1977 Matt Czuchry, Manchester, New Hampshire, actor (The Good Wife, Young Americans, Gilmore Girls, Hack, Jake 2.0)
  • 1977 Angela Goethals, New York City, New York, actress (24, Phenom, Home Alone)
  • 1993 Caroline Zhang, Boston, Massachusetts, figure skater (2010 & 2012 Four Continents bronze medalist, 2007 World Junior Champion, 2006–2007 Jr. Grand Prix Final Champion, 2009 U.S. bronze medalist, 2008 & 2012 U.S. pewter medalist)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
You have to ‘Be’ before you can ‘Do’ and ‘Do’ before you can ‘Have.’ – Zig Ziglar
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1862 Homestead Act signed into law by Lincoln, providing cheap land for settlement of West.
  • 1873 Levi Strauss markets blue jeans with copper rivets, price $13.50 dozen.
  • 1875 International Bureau of Weights & Measures established by Treaty of Metre.
  • 1891 First public display of Thomas Alva Edison’s prototype kinetoscope (shown at Edison’s Laboratory for a convention of the National Federation of Women’s Clubs).
  • 1902 Cuba gained independence from the United States.
  • 1916 The Saturday Evening Post publishes its first cover with a Norman Rockwell painting (“Boy with Baby Carriage”).
  • 1927 Charles Lindbergh takes off from Roosevelt Field in Long Island, New York, on the world’s first solo non-stop flight across the Atlantic Ocean, touching down at Le Bourget Field in Paris at 22:22 the next day.
  • 1932 Amelia Earhart takes off from Newfoundland to begin the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean by a female pilot, landing in Ireland the next day.
  • 1949 Armed Forces Security Agency (predecessor to the National Security Agency) is established
  • 1989 Chinese authorities declare martial law in the face of pro-democracy demonstrations, setting the scene for the Tiananmen Square massacre.
  • 1990 Hubble Space Telescope sent its first photograph from space, an image of a double star 1,260 light years away.
  • 2013 An EF5 tornado strikes the Oklahoma City suburb of Moore, killing 24 people and injuring 377 others.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial–it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer–do you have a locker room in the police station–a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

In a recent murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist who was a witness for the prosecution. The testimony went something like this:

Attorney: “Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?”
Coroner: “No.”

Attorney: “Did you listen to the heart?”
Coroner: “No.”

Attorney: “Did you check for breathing?”
Coroner: “No.”

Attorney: “So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man was dead, were you?”
Coroner: “Well, let me put it this way. The man’s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it is possible that he could be out there practicing law somewhere.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: Murphy’s Laws for the Workplace

– Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
– Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back. This is what I’m doing wrong.
– Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.

– To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
– Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
– Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing.

– Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
– The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail.

His lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.”
And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Brahma Chick and Toy Sheep


~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly resolved.

On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door.

Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when I heard my partner say, “If you have any more problems, we’ll be in your closet.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

My brother Sean stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the girl at the counter. She rattled off a list of condiments, but he stopped her when she asked if he wanted white cheese or yellow.

“What’s the difference?” Sean asked.

“Hello?” replied the girl, sighing and rolling her eyes. “The COLOR is different!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

It happened once upon a time — ten princes were cursed by an evil fairy godmother and turned into large, regal white birds. Their sister was advised by the local wizard to crochet magical shirts from nettles which, when cast over her brothers, would return them to their princely forms.

The sister whiled away the time while crocheting in the company of a close friend, one ‘Little Miss Muffet’ from a neighboring tale. The two would sit on their tuffets and eat curds, and unfortunately the tenth nettle-shirt accidentally got soaked in the bottom of the bowl.

Fortunately for both the tenth prince and his sister, the shirt still performed its magical function, but in after years he would tease her about the fine white fuzz which had remained on his chest following his restoration to princely duties;

“That’s `Whey Down upon the Swan’,” he ribbed her…
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

DURING OPERATION DESERT STORM, my family and I wrote to several service members stationed in the Gulf. My younger brother asked one officer what “MRE” stands for.

The captain wrote back, “MRE stands for ‘Meals Ready to Eat’ — three lies in one!” (Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Rosanne Moore)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston.

Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back and said, “If there’s anything you want to know, just ask me.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Last night I was relaxing on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s voice from the kitchen:
“Oh sweetheart, what would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?”

I said, “Thank you, darling. I think I’ll have chicken.”

She replied, “You’re havin’ a peanut butter sandwich. I was talkin’ to the dog!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step!”

“So?” asked the ducks’ former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot?”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Was Toto worth more than the Munchkins? According to lead Munchkin Jerry Maren, the “little people” on the set of The Wizard of Oz (1939) were paid $50 per week for a 6-day work week, while Toto received $125 per week. During filming, Toto was stepped on by one of the witch’s guards, and had a double for two weeks. A second double was obtained, because it resembled Toto more closely.

~ Is Christmas celebrated in Japan? Christmas was introduced in Japan by the Christian missionaries, and for many years the only people who celebrated it were those who had turned to the Christian faith. But now the Christmas season in Japan is full of meaning and is almost universally observed.

~ Why has the Great Wall of China been called the “longest cemetery in the world”? Archaeologists have found that the Great Wall of China contains tombs within the structure. It’s also known that when laborers working on the wall in ancient times died, their bodies were frequently just added to the wall’s building materials, rather than given proper burials.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: There’s no defense like a good offense. – Brackenridge

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present. – Olatunji

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.