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May 21st

Take care that no one hates you justly. – Publilius Syrus

TODAY – MAY 21st

141st day of the year (142nd in leap years) with 224 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Strawberries and Cream Day
~ National Memo Day
~ National Waiters and Waitresses Day
~ World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1688 Alexander Pope, British poet, translator of Homer (known for use of heroic couplet)
  • 1873 Hans Berger, German neuroscientist ( first to record human electroencephalograms (EEGs or “brain waves”) in 1924, for which he invented the electroencephalogram (giving the device its name), and the discoverer of the alpha wave rhythm known as “Berger’s wave”)
  • 1878 Glenn Curtiss, Hammondsport, New York, aviation engineer (founder of U.S. aircraft industry, made first officially witnessed flight in North America, pioneer naval aviation)
  • 1916 Harold Robbins, NYC, New York, author (The Dream Merchants, The Carpetbaggers, Descent from Xanadu, Tycoon, Sin City)
  • 1917 Raymond Burr, Canadian actor (Perry Mason, Ironside, Godzilla 1985)
  • 1921 A.S. Douglas, London, England, computer scientist (credited with creating the first graphical Computer game OXO)
  • 1952 Mr. T (Laurence Tureaud), Chicago, Illinois, actor and professional wrestler (The A-Team, Rocky III, I Pity the Fool)
  • 1957 Judge Reinhold, Wilmington, Delaware, actor (Dr. Dolittle Million Dollar Mutts, Beverly Hills Cop, Ruthless People, Fast Times at Ridgemont High)
  • 1966 Lisa Edelstein, Boston, Massachusetts, actress (Dr. Lisa Cuddy on House, Relativity, The Legend of Korra, Girlfriends Guide to Divorce (2015))
  • 1973 Stewart Cink, Huntsville, Alabama, golfer (won 2009 Open championship)
  • 1974 Fairuza Balk, Point Reyes, California, actress (Return to Oz, Gas Food Lodging, The Craft, Water Boy)
  • 1991 Sarah Ramos, Los Angeles, California, actress (American Dreams, Parenthood)
  • 1992 Olivia Olson, Los Angeles, California, singer and actress (voice of Vanessa in Phineas and Ferb, and Marceline in Adventure Time )

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Women get more glory than men for comparable feats. But also, women get more notoriety when they crash. – Amelia Earhart

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1758 Ten-year-old Mary Campbell is abducted in Pennsylvania by Lenape during the French and Indian War (returned some six and a half years later).
  • 1881 The American Red Cross is established by Clara Barton in Washington, D.C..
  • 1917 The Great Atlanta fire of 1917 causes $5.5 million in damages, destroying some 300 acres including 2,000 homes, businesses and churches, displacing about 10,000 people and leading to only fatality (due to heart attack).
  • 1924 University of Chicago students Richard Loeb and Nathan Leopold, Jr. murder 14-year-old Bobby Franks in a “thrill killing”.
  • 1927 Charles Lindbergh touches down at Le Bourget Field in Paris, completing the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean.
  • 1932 Bad weather forces Amelia Earhart to land in a pasture in Derry, Northern Ireland, and she thereby becomes the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.
  • 1934 Oskaloosa, Iowa, becomes the first municipality in the United States to fingerprint all of its citizens.
  • 1937 A Soviet station, North Pole-1, becomes the first scientific research settlement to operate on the drift ice of the Arctic Ocean.
  • 1946 Physicist Louis Slotin is fatally irradiated in a criticality incident during an experiment with the Demon core at Los Alamos National Laboratory.
  • 1961 Alabama Governor John Malcolm Patterson declares martial law in an attempt to restore order after race riots break out.
  • 2005 The tallest roller coaster in the world, Kingda Ka opens at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township, New Jersey.
  • 2010 JAXA, the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency, launches the solar-sail spacecraft IKAROS aboard an H-IIA rocket. The vessel would make a Venus flyby late in the year.
  • 2011 Radio broadcaster Harold Camping predicted that the end of the world would occur on this day, a prophecy that was obviously incorrect.
  • 2014 National September 11 Museum opens to the public.

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A rookie police officer was out for his first patrol in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner, people.”

A few glances, but no one moved. So he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner … NOW!!!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”
“Pretty good,” chuckled the veteran policemen, “especially since this is a bus stop.”
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A child’s confession: “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy.”
“That was a very misguided thing to do, my son.”
“Oh, it wasn’t misguided at all. It hit him!”
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ONE-LINERS: Stupid Political Quotes . . .

~ “Let’s do this in one foul swoop.”
~ “I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves in this session.”
~ “We’ll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger.”

~ “I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks.”
~ “The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13.”
~ “I hate to confuse myself with the facts.”

~ “We have a permanent plan for the time being.”
~ “Family planning has many misconceptions.”
~ “The people in my district do not want this highway bypass, no matter if it goes through or around the city.”

~ “My knowledge is no match for his ignorance.”
~ “As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a nuclear suppository in our state.”
~ “These numbers are not my own; they are from someone who knows what he’s talking about.”
~ “People planning on getting into serious accidents should have their seat belts on.”
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I’ve always been an early riser, while my wife likes to sleep in. One day I got up, went over to the window and exclaimed, “Oh, honey, it’s a beautiful morning! The sky is crystal clear, the moon is almost full and the stars are out!”

My wife, snuggled under the comforter, groggily interrupted me. “Go back to bed,” she moaned. “Where I come from, we still call that ‘night’.”
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Recently in traffic court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed policeman had given his okay for the man to park there.
The judge asked the man if he would recognize the officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.
The judge then said, “Good. When you see the officer again, tell him he owes you $157. Next.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the “Chicken Surprise”. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
“Good grief, did you see that?” she asks her husband.

He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
“Please sir,” says the waiter, “what you order?”

The husband replies, “Chicken Surprise.”
Ah… so sorry,” says the waiter, “I bring you Peeking Duck.”
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Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you’re at a big, high-class casino.

At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.
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There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. “How do you suppose this ball got in here?” I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, “Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!”
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One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight’s dinner. I told him I didn’t know how to make soup. He quickly handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.
Soon after I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.
Instead the sergeant said, “This tastes really good… are you sure you followed the recipe?”
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Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in California, I was stopped by a state trooper in Kansas for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.
Later, I was stopped by another trooper. “What have I done?” I asked.
“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”
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Dispatching her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon.
Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon.
When asked to explain, he replied, “Mom, I had enough money. I didn’t need the coupon.”
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Today’s Trivia: How small are baby opossum? When baby opossum are born, they are so small that an entire litter can fit in a tablespoon. They live inside their mother’s pouch for three months before climbing out and riding on her back.

~ How do flies and bees buzz? The buzzing of flies and bees is not produced by any sound-producing apparatus within the insects’ bodies. It is simply the sound of their wings moving up and down at a rapid rate.

~How often do kangaroo rats drink? Kangaroo rats never drink water. Like their relatives the pocket mice, they carry their own water source within them, producing fluids from the food they eat and the air they breathe.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Maybe there would be fewer collisions if the manufacturers give their car models less aggressive names, such as Kitten, Bunny Rabbit, and Feather Duster.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Consider your origins: you were not made to live as brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge. – Dante Alighieri

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